Growing Old Together (marriage, women, loyalty, husbands)
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When you are outside looking in it is apparent, but from the inside I dont think it is so noticable.
Probably not because when you see the person everyday, you don't notice the changes. But when someone who hasn't seen you both in a while sees you, they'll see it. I ran into a couple I knew at a wedding last year. I attended their wedding nearly 15 years ago. They were about the same age and looked it. But when I saw them last year, the husband looked like he could pass for his wife's father. Overweight, too much sun, probably too much drinking and smoking, etc. His wife was very active and health-conscious. She looked like she still took good care of herself. The guy on the other hand looked like he stopped caring.
Probably not because when you see the person everyday, you don't notice the changes. But when someone who hasn't seen you both in a while sees you, they'll see it. I ran into a couple I knew at a wedding last year. I attended their wedding nearly 15 years ago. They were about the same age and looked it. But when I saw them last year, the husband looked like he could pass for his wife's father. Overweight, too much sun, probably too much drinking and smoking, etc. His wife was very active and health-conscious. She looked like she still took good care of herself. The guy on the other hand looked like he stopped caring.
Right. Often there are things you can do about it. It's lifestyle choice and how much effort you want to put into it.
I would hope that you look toward your spouse for important things: Moral support, kindness, laughter, understanding, gentleness. Their changing looks would hopefully melt your heart because they may appear more vulnerable and you can say, I'm still with this person, and I knew her/him when.
Probably not because when you see the person everyday, you don't notice the changes. But when someone who hasn't seen you both in a while sees you, they'll see it.
Yes, but I thought your question was how would you handle the excessive changes in your mate. Obviously, it is shocking when you see a friend you havent seen for yrs. I had that exp. the other day and hope she didnt notice the "dang you sure got fat and ugly" look on my face.
Yes, but I thought your question was how would you handle the excessive changes in your mate. Obviously, it is shocking when you see a friend you havent seen for yrs. I had that exp. the other day and hope she didnt notice the "dang you sure got fat and ugly" look on my face.
My question was about you would handle it when you became aware of those changes. You might notice those changes until someone else points them out. But the point is that now you've been made aware of them. What do you do then?
I agree. Unfortunately, we live in a culture where too many seem to forget their vows.
Perhaps they aren't all forgetting them. Maybe they've changed over the course of many years and now the vows aren't enough to maintain the way they felt about one another when they walked down the aisle. Have you ever been married? Getting married is a contract, and often there is fine print in a contract that isn't apparent when you sign it, and there is lot's of "fine print" buried beneath your wedding vows that won't come to the surface until years down the road. People change, priorities shift, and some couples don't have a strong enough bond to endure challenges they may face during the course of a relationship. Some marry too young, some for the wrong reasons. Sometimes the love dissolves and you don't feel the same way about a person any longer. It's a bit harsh to judge someone on the basis of breaking a vow, there is a lot more to it than what you see on the surface.
God knows we've changed over the years but who doesn't.
I don't realize how much we've changed until I look at our wedding picture. And you know what? It just doesn't matter. I married the man, not his 6 pack...now he just takes a cooler along also.
He married the woman...not the designer luggage....he likes saddlebags now.
This is why I don't understand people so hung up on looks. They just don't matter.
Perhaps they aren't all forgetting them. Maybe they've changed over the course of many years and now the vows aren't enough to maintain the way they felt about one another when they walked down the aisle. Have you ever been married? Getting married is a contract, and often there is fine print in a contract that isn't apparent when you sign it, and there is lot's of "fine print" buried beneath your wedding vows that won't come to the surface until years down the road. People change, priorities shift, and some couples don't have a strong enough bond to endure challenges they may face during the course of a relationship. Some marry too young, some for the wrong reasons. Sometimes the love dissolves and you don't feel the same way about a person any longer. It's a bit harsh to judge someone on the basis of breaking a vow, there is a lot more to it than what you see on the surface.
I don't disagree that people change making it hard to keep those vows. But why make a promise unless you're absolutely sure you can keep it? There's a reason politicians never promise to keep a balanced budget. It's because they know things can happen (war, natural disaster, etc.) that might require them to spend more than they have. Maybe the marital vows need to be conditional. "I promise to love, honor and obey...unless I decide someday that I don't want kids or you gain a bunch of weight, etc." I this is actually becoming a trend. Lawyers write such conditions into marital contracts.
My question was about you would handle it when you became aware of those changes. You might notice those changes until someone else points them out. But the point is that now you've been made aware of them. What do you do then?
Id say, I hadnt noticed but, so and so pointed this out to me the other day and GAWD you've gotten ugly! but I love you anyway"
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