Are men less likely to stray when the sex is good? (cheat, statistics)
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Your hackneyed "a cheater is a cheater" statement imparts ethical equivalency to the lonely old coot who strikes up an affair with a dear old widowed friend after his frigid wife hasn't touched him decades to the reckless hound dog who chases gals every Saturday night at the local pool hall while his loving wife is at home with the kids.
Before one paints with a such a broad and simplistic brush, I would kindly suggest that context matters a very great deal.
Context is relevant insofar as understanding one's motive. Suppose I'm homeless and have no money. So I kill a man for his wallet. Suppose you kill a man because you don't like the color of his skin. Obviously, people will have greater sympathy for me. But it doesn't change the fact that what I did was wrong. By the same token, we can feel bad for the lonely old coot whose wife is no longer affectionate. But the bottom line is he chose to betray his wife rather than end the relationship first. And I don't blame his frigid wife for his cheating. Ultimately, he has to take responsibility for his own actions.
I think that people cheat because they are feeling unfulfilled, period. Perhaps, most of the time for men, it is being unfulfilled sexually and for women it is something else.
I usually take a lot of this "A cheater is a cheater" garbage with a grain of salt, much like Republicans talking about "family values" while they're paying prostitutes for extra-marital sex...
I've said it before on here that the percentages of people who cheat don't seem to play out in this "forum of saints"... So either the Relationships forum just attracts the sweetest of the sweet, or we have quite a few world-class B.S. artists in here....
I was talking to a friend the other day who has had affairs in his relationship. Now he is in a new relationship and he looked really happy. He said the sex was good. He said that sex is like a salve in a relationship. It bonds a couple together and takes care of a lot of problems. He said he had no interest in other women now.
I think what he said is true. I think overall if a man is having enough good sex with his partner, he is less likely to be unfaithful.
Men need sex. So when they are in a marriage where sex has gone try, chances are good, they are looking elsewhere.
Men, do you agree, disagree? What are your thoughts?
Hi Woof Woof Woof,
Its generally a symptom of a disease and if a women does not take the time a few times a week for sex, she is probably not making time for anything else either. In cases where a women admits she only lets here husband touch her once a month and then is angry that he cheated makes her a complete moron. I doubt I would cheat, but if I were limited to once a month, my connections to such a person would atrophy. If I could not have it resolved then the negative feed back loop would generally appear as me spending more time away from her and so on.
I think that people cheat because they are feeling unfulfilled, period. Perhaps, most of the time for men, it is being unfulfilled sexually and for women it is something else.
I usually take a lot of this "A cheater is a cheater" garbage with a grain of salt, much like Republicans talking about "family values" while they're paying prostitutes for extra-marital sex...
I've said it before on here that the percentages of people who cheat don't seem to play out in this "forum of saints"... So either the Relationships forum just attracts the sweetest of the sweet, or we have quite a few world-class B.S. artists in here....
JMO
wull, I'm an artist but I don't paint B.S.? Besides, there's not a lot of color contrast in B.S.
wull, I'm an artist but I don't paint B.S.? Besides, there's not a lot of color contrast in B.S.
All depends on what the bull ate I guess..
Hey, there are exceptions to what I'm saying of course. The stats show that close to 50% are actually faithful (or at least won't admit that they weren't....), so some have to be telling the truth as well... Those who are acting holier than thou that shouldn't be know who they are.... (I may not, but they do... )
I don't have a chance to read the entire thread, but I will tell you this much: good sex on many levels is a reflection of all other parts of your relationship. If there is love, understanding and communication between 2 partners, they are much more likely to have good sex. They will communicate to each other their needs and wants.
Great sex without love and communication will not last long.
It's a vicious circle - no communication/understanding will lead to bad sex which will lead to even less understanding and communication.
That's why so many people cheat. If one thing is lacking it will lead to a whole strand of other things that will be lacking too.
A man needs to always feel wanted, desired, bottom line like a MAN. He always needs to be told that he is Gladiator in bed, he will less likely to go and try to prove himself elsewhere.
I don't have a chance to read the entire thread, but I will tell you this much: good sex on many levels is a reflection of all other parts of your relationship. If there is love, understanding and communication between 2 partners, they are much more likely to have good sex. They will communicate to each other their needs and wants.
Great sex without love and communication will not last long.
It's a vicious circle - no communication/understanding will lead to bad sex which will lead to even less understanding and communication.
That's why so many people cheat. If one thing is lacking it will lead to a whole strand of other things that will be lacking too.
A man needs to always feel wanted, desired, bottom line like a MAN. He always needs to be told that he is Gladiator in bed, he will less likely to go and try to prove himself elsewhere.
max's mama,
I wasn't able to rep you, but this was an EXCELLENT post. I couldn't agree with you more. Sex is a WINDOW on the relationship. And yes, a man likes to feel like a Gladiator in bed.
I think he really just enjoys sex. No matter how good the sex is their is always some one who is better.
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