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Lots of American women let themselves get fat and unnattractive. And they act like it's no big deal and we men should not care.
Well. It is a big deal and we do care.
Same thing gos for us men. We need to stay in shape and stay looking good. And if we don't we deserve to get called out on it and should do somethign about it.
These days people just don;t take care of themselves. And it's become normal.
True - however, you have to approach someone on this as you would want to be approached. . if you are a man - imagine you have 10x more the sensitivity to it than you really have. Not all women are quite so touchy about hearing such a thing - but. . it covers your arse in case you are with the one that is.
If I was her, I would go out and sleep with another man just to get back at you. Why? Why would I do something so 'low' and self-destructive'?
Because the other guy would make me feel more attractive. If I made myself look better, it'd be because you told me to. That you werent happy with me. Thats even more degrading than sleeping with someone to get back at you.
P.S. 'you' being any guy. Not trying to make you look like a villian by no means.
It all goes back to the famous Marilyn Monroe saying:
"If you cannot accept me at my worst, you do not deserve me at my best."
Why don't you apologize? Tell her you're sorry for your words making her feel that way (not for the way she interpreted your words; huge difference) and discuss the issue. She's might have gained weight because she's unhappy and is using food as comfort. Talk to her about why she's unhappy.
Whatever happened to just being real and honest? Without walking on eggshells with every word?
You apparently have never been married huh?
There is nothing wrong with honesty. Thats what I was trying to say awhile back. You just don`t like, blurt it out one night, because your sick and tired of holding it in, and tell her exactly how you feel. You work with her, somehow.....not just tell her...geezzz- usssss....
There is so much political correctness in this thread.
Whatever happened to just being real and honest? Without walking on eggshells with every word?
Peoples feelings have nothing with political correctness. Whoever thinks saying, "Hey, you're fat/getting fat/ugly now," is the right way to approach a situation with any human being - it is ONLY if you are only concerned only about your own feelings and have not taken someone elses into consideration. It's called selfishness - it's all in the approach.
You can be real, honest - and have tact. Sometimes being real and honest is perceived as an attack without it.
From the sound of this thread, it sounds like she was actually getting fat.
The OP said that he "got her a gym membership". This would lead me to believe that she was not excercising before.
To me, if you let yourself gain a lot of weight and you REALLY do let yourself get unnattractive, you basically are hurting your spouse. You should stay attractive, even if you are married.
I can't believe you all are attacking the OP. What about his wife who gained a bunch of weight on him??? Who cares if he was a bit rude or blunt about it, that's small potatoes. He's the poor guy who has a wife that is ballooning up on him.
Ladies, imagine if you married a guy who was in shape, and he let himself get fat.....
It all goes back to the famous Marilyn Monroe saying:
"If you cannot accept me at my worst, you do not deserve me at my best."
Positive reinforcement.
EXACTLY. When you love someone you want to take their feelings and ego into consideration when you share information with them - it's what people do for one another in a loving relationship.
I agree. There is a proper way to say things, and he should have just said it from the very beginning in a nice way. Instead of waiting and letting it get out of control. ou should have an open line of communication.
If you can't even tell your spouse that she is gaining weight, what kind of a relationship is that? Better to begin the relationship with honesty, and respect too.
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