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So I've been seeing this guy for the past few months, and things were incredible at first. It was a long-distance thing (a little under 2 hrs to start, then I got relocated for work and it became a little over 3hrs) for the first 3.5 months, and then he finished his master's and moved in with me (about 2 weeks ago). I know, I know, this was a dumbass move and we rushed into things...trust me, I know.
I'd started having second thoughts about a week or two before he moved in, b/c he was being really selfish and distant, but I never expressed these feelings b/c he had already given up his apartment and job. So now, he's been here two weeks and I just can't keep doing it. He's a great guy, but he is totally not for me. Basically, he's the rebound guy, and he is the complete and utter opposite of the guy I was dating before him...who I've come to realize recently that I am still in love with.
Now I'm stuck. The bf is living with me, and has only been there for 2 weeks, and I need to tell him that I can't be with him and that he needs to move out (by the way, the apartment and all the utilities are in my name, so there's no problem with getting him off of the lease or anything)...and I have no idea how to tell him. I do care about him, and he really is an awesome guy, he's just not right for me. I feel so guilty and am half tempted to stay with him out of guilt, but I just can't. Any advice on how to handle the situation would be really appreciated. Thanks.
how was HE being selfish by leaving his apartment and his job? seems you were the selfish one in not realizing that he WASN'T the real deal.. time to nut up and let him ride... tell him he can stay on the couch until he finds a place, but it isn't working
how was HE being selfish by leaving his apartment and his job? seems you were the selfish one in not realizing that he WASN'T the real deal.. time to nut up and let him ride... tell him he can stay on the couch until he finds a place, but it isn't working
He wasn't being selfish by leaving his apartment and job, there were other instances of it that I didn't really go into in this thread, but thank you for your advice.
Tell him just like you told us. Be reasonable and give him enough time to find a new place to live and get moved. Treat him the way you would want to be treated if the situation were reversed. Chances are he already knows things aren't working anyway.
Tell him just like you told us. Be reasonable and give him enough time to find a new place to live and get moved. Treat him the way you would want to be treated if the situation were reversed. Chances are he already knows things aren't working anyway.
Thanks yellowsnow and Yankeegirl. That was my plan, I just don't know how to get the words out. I know that sounds pathetic, I just hate to hurt anyone. But I know I have to. It'll hurt less now than in the future (or that's kind of my reasoning). My mom and sister are all over me to try to work it out with him b/c they love him b/c he's more financially stable than most of my previous exes (particularly the ex that I am still in love with), which is just complicating the situation. They won't even listen to me about what I want, they just keep pushing me to do what 'they think is best'. Anyway, thank you.
Well, of course your loved ones are just looking after your best interest, financially, for future purposes, etc.. but if its not in your heart, and you know that its not right, then listen to your heart.
Nobody wants to hurt anyone intentionally, but sometimes we have to step on toes, in order to get what WE want. Unfortunetly, it sounds like he is not what you want. I don`t know an easy way for you to tell him, but I can tell you to stand up tall for what you want, and speak plain.
Well, of course your loved ones are just looking after your best interest, financially, for future purposes, etc.. but if its not in your heart, and you know that its not right, then listen to your heart.
Nobody wants to hurt anyone intentionally, but sometimes we have to step on toes, in order to get what WE want. Unfortunetly, it sounds like he is not what you want. I don`t know an easy way for you to tell him, but I can tell you to stand up tall for what you want, and speak plain.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate what you're saying. It's really what I need to hear. I know I'm doing the right thing, it's just hard for me to think it's right when the people that I love the most (my mom and sis) are so opposed to what I want.
"You know, I think we jumped into this too fast and its not working out romantically. What do you think would be the best next step for the both of us? Because I think it would be best if we went our seperate ways before any drama starts "
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