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I made the mistake of talking on the phone/online with a girl for many hours a day and many days a week before.
BEFORE I got in her pants...
So, I basically opened myself up to her before we even had a romantic/sexual relationship.
I tried several times (not real good attempts, I'll admit) to let her know that I liked her as more than a friend, etc. And each time she responded by saying 'not right now'/we need to know each other better.. etc..
I respected this girl so much, that I was nervous of making a serious move, b.c I didn't know how to take the possible rejection of someone I cared about and liked a lot.
So finally, after many, many months of 'being friends'/ seeing where things would lead, I lost it, and ended our relationship of being friends right there. I didn't answer her calls, and was honest and told her I didn't want to be friends anymore or have contact with her.
The girl knew the whole time that I wanted more, and she kept leading me on, and was never str8 up with me it seemed like. Like she said that she was attracted to me for like the first month or so, but then she just liked me as a friend... Yet she led me to believe that there was a possibility of more...
Did I enjoy talking with her? Sharing thoughts/feelings? Sure.. at the time. But I regret it all now.
Thankfully, I don't think I'll make this mistake ever again. Is this a mistake that many other men make, but usually only one time?
With the 4 other women I've met since her.. I made sure to make a move that first or second day of hanging out with them.
None of them rejected me, and I felt at least I got something out of the relationship right away, instead of giving a women my feelings before she even put out... I felt in control of those relationships.. and I believe it's because I acted like a man and went for the pu$$y first, instead of the emotional **** women like first..
I believe that in all reality- women don't respect a man who doesn't make a move when he wants to. Men can never just be friends with a woman they are attracted to.... unless said woman gains 40 lbs or so all the sudden.
Do you women ever purposefully knowingly stay friends with a guy that really is into you... Even though you know you'll never give him any action? Kind of like waving a bone over a dog that's wagging it's tail but never droppin it...
its like fencing. if you go completely in defensive mode and "turtle up" you might feel safer and feel very in control of your aggression, that part is good. but you are no longer attempting to score points, you will in fact lose. you wana be laid back but no lay down.
This girl was being typical... she liked the attention she as getting but didnt want to complicate things.. when you meet a girl like that RUN in the other direction.. they have the great gift of messing up a good thing and still has the stupidity to blame him..
However what happened to you also happen the other way around.. where a guy will keep a girl around just for the sake of comfort .. the only problem is girls are more gullible and will stick around.. stupid I know..
None of them rejected me, and I felt at least I got something out of the relationship right away, instead of giving a women my feelings before she even put out... I felt in control of those relationships.. and I believe it's because I acted like a man and went for the pu$$y first, instead of the emotional **** women like first..
What I realized is that there are just some women you really, really don't want to sleep with.
I have several women friends and I know the sex thing is always there, you can feel it, however there just isn't much interest due to knowing they don't make good partners. Good friends maybe, but not good partners.
Probably the mistake people make is having assumptions and expectations. I'd have neither. Some women you end up boinking, some you don't. And if being friends doesn't work there are others.
Also as a man you have to be assertive. Not a barbarian, but you have to have some boundaries and define them and if interested in someone you have to make the move.
Another mistake I used to make was thinking my good deeds would get me a romantic relationship, but just like good deeds exclusively wont get you into heaven, they wont get you into bed either. Most young women are at their physical beauty peak from 20-30, so at that age they get the most attention, so many play that to their advantage. Hence if they have a guy they don't have to lift a finger for, who listens to all their whinging and dramas for hours on end and who does nice things for them, they take advantage of it. I've seen gals that declare themselves the nicest, sweetest, honest gals around and they will take advantage of you if you let them.
So it's the other way around and like any relationship there has to be balance and if it's all about them, no relationship exists.
Finally, I think this holds true for romantic relationships, but also friendships and work colleagues. The less you say the better.
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