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A couple months I think you should know how you feel about a person right?.
I agree. You should be able to tell at least where you want the relationship to go...
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
If a friend trusts you with a very sentimental object and asks you to take care of it. Don't go all nuts as if you are not ready for this and not sure if you can handle the task. They trust you will be able to handle it. Accept it and appreciate it.
After a month though? holding someone's heart and feelings is a big responsibility. I personally want to make sure that I am capable of it before I accept this responsibility.
My friend has been burned too many times to count, and I just think she is having trouble letting herself trust that perhaps this guy is real. She is not allowing herself fall in love, she wants to, but is not sure she is ready yet...
She also said that they both told each other if they went one night without speaking & praying with each other over the phone, they don't feel right.
She has said the same thing, that she feels empty whenever they don't speak. I think she is already head over heels, but she is not letting herself see it that way?
I got really drunk one night and told one of my ex's that I was in love with her only after 3 months. HUGE MISTAKE. Ruined the relationship. Even though I was, and I was just speaking from the heart...make the other person do it first.
Alright, I am back form some advice, as I am in no position to give it... you all remember my friend who is dating the "rare male specimen" If you do not please follow the link below to understand the issue...
In any case, they have been dating for about one month or so... and at a Halloween party this past Saturday he said "I think it is safe to say that I am in Love with you"
My friend, did not know how to respond, she likes the dude a lot, she thinks there is a deep connection, mind you they have not had sex yet, but she is freaking out now, she does not think she is ready to Be In Love but she wants to, she told him this, and he said he was a patient man.
Do you think it was too soon for him to say it? How soon is too soon? They know each other pretty well, they talk/e-mail all day every day, they see each other as often as they can during the week.
What do you think?
For some people they can fall pretty fast and for most its longer. It depends on both people honestly, but that word is used so "loosely" its pathetic. I don't think he really knows what that means and is probably just so into her that he don't know what to do with himself.
OR
As my girlfriend just went through, some guy told her the same thing, and once he got a piece of a-- he was gone.
Part of it depends on how much quality time they've spent together in that month, but even then, I'd say a month is rather soon. If you haven't been together long enough to get into an argument, then you probably haven't been together long enough to profess your love of that person. Put it to the test, then tell me it's really love. It's easy to think you love someone when all of your time together is spent having fun on dates and parties. You're barely passed the infatuation stage at the one month mark.
For some people they can fall pretty fast and for most its longer. It depends on both people honestly, but that word is used so "loosely" its pathetic. I don't think he really knows what that means and is probably just so into her that he don't know what to do with himself.
OR
As my girlfriend just went through, some guy told her the same thing, and once he got a piece of a-- he was gone.
Ahhhh...the joys of dating.
This is the reason why she is not sure she wants to allow herself to fall for the dude. I mean, you have to take a risk either way. Either you let him go and wonder what could have been... or you let yourself fall and risk getting hurt...
I don't think there's necessarily a time limit on love. Me, I have always fallen hard and fast and tend to think that the folks who spend a lot of time before they 'decide' they are in love, probably aren't in love.
The difference is, like your friend, I don't say it first or easily. Men will say almost anything to get into your pants and "I love you" is no different. So in my single days I was just not willing to put my heart on the line before I knew what "I love you" meant to him.
I think there's a bigger danger of women saying "I love you" too soon as opposed to men. Women seem to take those words more seriously. At least, that is how it was with me.
But I remember your post about the 'rare male speciman' not wanting to have sex, and my first thought was he wanted to get her to let down her guard and then pounce. But then I remembered that my brother was exactly the same way.
He fell for a woman with a 'healthy' libido, who was much more worldly and experienced than he was, and to whom it was downright weird for him to not want to have sex straight away. (This story came out at their wedding, as that woman is now my sister-in-law!). He had told her he wanted to 'take it slow.'
So on a skiiing trip, with separate rooms, she somehow got into his room and seduced him. They married a few months later.
So far, and three kids (twins) later, they are living happily-ever-after and judging from the public displays of affection, can't keep their hands off each other.
I don't think there's necessarily a time limit on love. Me, I have always fallen hard and fast and tend to think that the folks who spend a lot of time before they 'decide' they are in love, probably aren't in love.
The difference is, like your friend, I don't say it first or easily. Men will say almost anything to get into your pants and "I love you" is no different. So in my single days I was just not willing to put my heart on the line before I knew what "I love you" meant to him.
I think there's a bigger danger of women saying "I love you" too soon as opposed to men. Women seem to take those words more seriously. At least, that is how it was with me.
But I remember your post about the 'rare male speciman' not wanting to have sex, and my first thought was he wanted to get her to let down her guard and then pounce. But then I remembered that my brother was exactly the same way.
He fell for a woman with a 'healthy' libido, who was much more worldly and experienced than he was, and to whom it was downright weird for him to not want to have sex straight away. (This story came out at their wedding, as that woman is now my sister-in-law!). He had told her he wanted to 'take it slow.'
So on a skiiing trip, with separate rooms, she somehow got into his room and seduced him. They married a few months later.
So far, and three kids (twins) later, they are living happily-ever-after and judging from the public displays of affection, can't keep their hands off each other.
... Do you think it was too soon for him to say it? How soon is too soon? They know each other pretty well, they talk/e-mail all day every day, they see each other as often as they can during the week.
What do you think?
Sure it was too soon. The best time to say it is just before the object of your desires says it to you.
I can't remember if I've ever been the first to say it. I don't think so. I've heard it too soon a few times. I think I've usually just tried to make light of it. "Aw, I love you too. You're a great friend." If they want to push it from there, they're too stupid for me.
And I've heard it a few times and was delighted to hear it.
One gal told me she loved me for the first time while she was breaking up with me. She was feeling guilty because she had a boyfriend. We hadn't done anything beyond friendship. Okay, one kiss. "If we'd have had sex, it would have been okay," she says, "but I promised him I wouldn't fall in love with anyone else." I offered to rectify the situation....
Last edited by WyoNewk; 11-02-2009 at 08:46 PM..
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you all remember my friend who is dating the "rare male specimen" If you do not please follow the link below to understand the issue...
