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Dating--hell, even beginning conversation--with American women is often like going into an all-business job interview or 110% serious business transaction. Cold, direct, calculating, to-the-point. Very little emotion. And, quite honestly, given many women's demeanors, words and actions, the women often are far more arrogant than the men.
NOTE: I say "often," "many" and "often" because it is not indicative of a majority of American women. But it is pervasive in aspects. Sure, I'd love to have an educated woman. No, I don't want somebody who is 400 lbs. reeking with cigarette smoke. However, given that I am overweight (not obese and people even act shocked when I tell them I'm overweight), fresh out of college, have little money, and living 2400 miles from my parents independently, I am more interested in nice conversation and intelligence than accolade this, looks that, car this, emotional rollercoaster that.
To be honest, I find myself attracted to some East Asian women. Why? They're feminine and strong, a concept lost on the aforementioned sector of American women. They are strong, intelligent, firm, and bright. They aren't necessarily submissive, and I'm not looking for a submissive type. But are more inclined, I believe, to be better relationship material; at least they are more likely to believe in a 2-way partnership. They make up what American women, nice or not, generally lack in femininity. In other words, they are the closest thing in my generation I have found to my American-born mother, and the women that I find I'm compatible with are, alas, married. (Again, I'm not saying that ALL American women aren't feminine, but I certainly believe that MTV and reality TV have contributed significantly to how many women think and feel, and not in a good way.)
Just my $.02. I don't often share this point of view, but the American women who have noticeably been raised with manners are over the age of 40. It progressively disintegrates as the age becomes lower. I saw a crazy ass 7- or 8-year-old the other day at a restaurant and her snobby ass, cold-looking, expressionless mother did absolutely nothing; I did nothing because sometimes you can just tell the type that will call the police for harassment and then make up a sob story to cover her own, and the mother had that all over her face. Anyway, I'm afraid that little brats like that kid will become even more indicative of the future of SOME...okay, MANY American women in the future.
Dating--hell, even beginning conversation--with American women is often like going into an all-business job interview or 110% serious business transaction. Cold, direct, calculating, to-the-point. Very little emotion. And, quite honestly, given many women's demeanors, words and actions, the women often are far more arrogant than the men.
NOTE: I say "often," "many" and "often" because it is not indicative of a majority of American women. But it is pervasive in aspects. Sure, I'd love to have an educated woman. No, I don't want somebody who is 400 lbs. reeking with cigarette smoke. However, given that I am overweight (not obese and people even act shocked when I tell them I'm overweight), fresh out of college, have little money, and living 2400 miles from my parents independently, I am more interested in nice conversation and intelligence than accolade this, looks that, car this, emotional rollercoaster that.
To be honest, I find myself attracted to some East Asian women. Why? They're feminine and strong, a concept lost on the aforementioned sector of American women. They are strong, intelligent, firm, and bright. They aren't necessarily submissive, and I'm not looking for a submissive type. But are more inclined, I believe, to be better relationship material; at least they are more likely to believe in a 2-way partnership. They make up what American women, nice or not, generally lack in femininity. In other words, they are the closest thing in my generation I have found to my American-born mother, and the women that I find I'm compatible with are, alas, married. (Again, I'm not saying that ALL American women aren't feminine, but I certainly believe that MTV and reality TV have contributed significantly to how many women think and feel, and not in a good way.)
Just my $.02. I don't often share this point of view, but the American women who have noticeably been raised with manners are over the age of 40. It progressively disintegrates as the age becomes lower. I saw a crazy ass 7- or 8-year-old the other day at a restaurant and her snobby ass, cold-looking, expressionless mother did absolutely nothing; I did nothing because sometimes you can just tell the type that will call the police for harassment and then make up a sob story to cover her own, and the mother had that all over her face. Anyway, I'm afraid that little brats like that kid will become even more indicative of the future of SOME...okay, MANY American women in the future.
I've had the exact same experience with American women - many are rude, condescending and drama queens. It's very stressful to date them - I can't deal with the emotional roller coaster, which seems to be the case with every girl I have dated. They want you to drop everything and attend to their emotional situations and mood swings at a moment's notice! I haven't found many to be "feminine" - many think being feminie is being inferior to a man, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Again, I'm not saying that ALL American women are like that, but yes, reality shows and popular media have negatively affected how many think and act. They have been taught to view masculinity and feminity as competitive, whereas nature made us to be compatible, not competitive. Good luck trying to explain that to them!
This thread was resuscitated after almost a year, and to be honest, one in many that not only lumps all/most/many American women together, but denigrates us as well, and I really do not think it is fair to anyone.
As I have stated this before, I do not have a clue where all of these men are finding these women whom they write about, for none of my boys, nor my daughter know women like they talk about (and even in the weight dept). Yes, I will say that Americans do have an obesity problem, yet I think it depends a lot on where one lives. When any of my Serbian friends come to visit me, they tell me they thought we would all be fat due to what they see on tv and read, but they are amazed that they hardly see any in my area.
And as far as foreign women being more feminine, that may be the case in certain areas for they do still care about how they dress when they go out, and many Americans (men too) have gotten too sloppy and slovenly, but I have been told by many men that it is a guise as they are cold in the bedroom and depending on the country, will have sex for "things". But again, this is a generalization as well; no one is perfect.
We need to respect each other as human beings, and if you do not like a certain "type", fine, but stop lumping everyone together (and this goes for the women, too, who are responding to these men). The world IS a smaller place, and people are finding their niches
/interests/ happiness in places that had not been open to us two decades; so let them live as they see fit, for whom is it really hurting?
Last edited by Sagitarrius48; 01-07-2012 at 07:51 PM..
It shouldn't come as any surprise that American men and women are "business-like" in their approach to mating. The state provides very little financial security. Much of mating in the US appears to be related either to reducing expected future risks of something going wrong in the marriage or else maximizing financial security over a long time horizon. It is not this way in many parts of the world where state intervention makes women, in particular, less dependent on men than in the US.
I have been living overseas for a while now. Aside from a brief return to the US earlier this year, i've been overseas for a few years.
I am living in Asia. There are not many westerners or Americans at all around here. Percentage-wise, this area must be about 0.01% westerners. I almost never speak face to face with other westerners. I occasionally see one on the street, but that's about it.
I do not have any western friends. All of my friends out here speak English as their second language. They are all Asians and a couple Russians I know.
I also usually date the local Asian women around here too. I find them to be much more appealing than American women. They are much more feminine, more warm and caring, more comfortable to be around, and in general they are just more enjoyable to spend time with. They are much more reliable and dependable as friends, much more of a stable and solid friendship can be had with them. They will usually be your true friend without being a totally selfish flake.
I decided to try dating an American woman again though, so I set up a date over the internet. She was some woman who just moved out here from the midwest.
I met her and went on the date, and it reminded me all over again of why I do not really like American women.
She was judging me the whole time. Asking me questions about my life and my goals. Not because she was really interested in me, but moreso because she was trying to size me up and find out what my status is to her.
Even though I am making good money and I am happy with life and I enjoy life. She kept acting like I should be doing more with myself, and this was our first date! It felt halfway like a date and halfway like a job interview. A normal vibe when hanging out with American women.....
Her entire demeanor was so serious. I was trying to smile and be warm and just be real with her. But she had her guard up the whole time and wouldn't just trust me and loosen up. It was like a cold, invisible wall was between us. Another typical trait of American women....
Last but not least. She was a BIG woman. Another typical trait of American women....
When the date ended, I felt like I had just gotten done doing business at the bank, or like I just had a job interview, or maybe like I just had a meeting at work.... it felt like a professional meeting. It did not feel like a warm and real connection with another human being. Which is what a date should be.
The thing that struck me the most was that this woman did not have very much going for her at all. Yet she was judging ME so hard. Why do American women do this so often? They expect the man they are with to be absolutely perfect, even if they are a mess.
I think I will go back to being the only North American in my world. And i'm just fine with that. I'll hang out with some Americans as friends if the opportunity comes up. Hanging out with other American guys is cool. But dating American women is usually a losing bet.
The local Asian women here are SOOOOOO much more warm, personable, understanding and HUMAN. They make me feel the love, instead of the uptight icyness. They are not the masculine machine-like beasts that American women these days have become.
It's not just Asian women though. It was the same story in the other continents i've visited. The women are just more warm, more fun, and more cool.
Thank you very much.
You have a serious problem meeting nice, warm, fun, height-weight proportionate easy-going American women. Why are all the American women you meet that way? I don't know any women in any age-range who are these automatons that you describe. One of our posters has a thread about a bubbly, intelligent, attractive and fun woman he went on a first date with that was just pleasant chat, definitely not an interview. You seem to be oddly handicapped in your ability to find women like that, even though California, your home turf, is full of that type.
You have a serious problem meeting nice, warm, fun, height-weight proportionate easy-going American women. Why are all the American women you meet that way? I don't know any women in any age-range who are these automatons that you describe. One of our posters has a thread about a bubbly, intelligent, attractive and fun woman he went on a first date with that was just pleasant chat, definitely not an interview. You seem to be oddly handicapped in your ability to find women like that, even though California, your home turf, is full of that type.
It shouldn't come as any surprise that American men and women are "business-like" in their approach to mating. The state provides very little financial security. Much of mating in the US appears to be related either to reducing expected future risks of something going wrong in the marriage or else maximizing financial security over a long time horizon. It is not this way in many parts of the world where state intervention makes women, in particular, less dependent on men than in the US.
Nice analysis from the Socialist camp. Too bad it has little, if anything, to do with 2 people enjoying each other's company while getting acquainted.
This sums up the whole issue. If you keep getting the same results, you're doing something wrong. It's not them, it's you.
Are we done here?
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