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I recently met the spouse of a colleague. I was SHOCKED!!! He is fat, had bad skin and an ugly face there is no way I'd want to wake up to every morning, and he was unpleasant and coarse, to boot! The colleague is attractive, nice, and really a good person. I know she's a devoted Christian, so I'm sure that's part of the equation but I'm wondering...
How on EARTH do you remain committed when your spouse has turned into a fat, unpleasant troll??? I'm not totally superficial, LOL. I've actually fallen for homely guys at times because they had absolutely wonderful qualities. But, to me, when someone lets himself or herself get obese, that shows a lack of self-respect and respect for one's partner, too. I can overlook a lot of things if the person is kind and talented, but obesity is something I can't abide.
What's up with this and what do y'all do about it?
I agree, when someone is BOTH physically unattractive and of poor character, I wonder how they got married and stayed married. I mean, they pretty much have nothing going for them, especially if they don't exactly have a lot of money either (though I don't agree with marrying someone just for their money, I know it happens).
But I'm not sure you got to know this guy enough to really know what his character is like. Maybe he's just socially awkward and deep down, is a really great person. As for the physical qualities, or lack thereof, you never know what medical problems people may have. My husband has Crohn's Disease and during a flare up, he's put on steriods which make him gain weight like crazy and the stress of the disease itself makes his skin flake and get red bloches. I can always tell when he's not feeling well because his skin is terrible (it can happen overnight). It also effects his character too - he's not very talkative which may seem rude at times and has a shorter temper (which is very unusual because he is normally very laid back).
But the disease is not always so terrible that he can not attend social functions. I can imagine someone meeting my husband during a flare up and thinking very similar things about him/us that you have of this couple. So try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
That's a good point, actually. She's fit and attractive but I guess women could be chubby chasers, too.
Of course some are. It's a lucky thing for us all that there are a variety of tastes out there.
Personally, I make it a policy to never judge the looks of someone else's partner. Really, what's it to you?
About a year after my divorce, a woman I know offhandedly mentioned, "I never found _______ all that attractive." I thought it was one of the rudest things I've ever heard.
I have found many times a friend's spouse does not "match" my friend. Some times love is blind, sometimes the spouse has changed but the change has not been a cause for divorce. The truth is one never knows what's up with someone else's relationship. As they say, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
I recently met the spouse of a colleague. I was SHOCKED!!! He is fat, had bad skin and an ugly face there is no way I'd want to wake up to every morning, and he was unpleasant and coarse, to boot! The colleague is attractive, nice, and really a good person. I know she's a devoted Christian, so I'm sure that's part of the equation but I'm wondering...
How on EARTH do you remain committed when your spouse has turned into a fat, unpleasant troll??? I'm not totally superficial, LOL. I've actually fallen for homely guys at times because they had absolutely wonderful qualities. But, to me, when someone lets himself or herself get obese, that shows a lack of self-respect and respect for one's partner, too. I can overlook a lot of things if the person is kind and talented, but obesity is something I can't abide.
What's up with this and what do y'all do about it?
What? He's ugly? Better get the gun and shoot it, might be one of dem alien thingys that reproduce inside your belly and then pop out and devour you.
So based on your post, all good looking guys treat women great and all ugly guys treat women like crap.
I agree, when someone is BOTH physically unattractive and of poor character, I wonder how they got married and stayed married. I mean, they pretty much have nothing going for them, especially if they don't exactly have a lot of money either (though I don't agree with marrying someone just for their money, I know it happens).
But I'm not sure you got to know this guy enough to really know what his character is like. Maybe he's just socially awkward and deep down, is a really great person. As for the physical qualities, or lack thereof, you never know what medical problems people may have. My husband has Crohn's Disease and during a flare up, he's put on steriods which make him gain weight like crazy and the stress of the disease itself makes his skin flake and get red bloches. I can always tell when he's not feeling well because his skin is terrible (it can happen overnight). It also effects his character too - he's not very talkative which may seem rude at times and has a shorter temper (which is very unusual because he is normally very laid back).
But the disease is not always so terrible that he can not attend social functions. I can imagine someone meeting my husband during a flare up and thinking very similar things about him/us that you have of this couple. So try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
I sympathize. I have SLE (Lupus) with an overlap of Crohn's so I totally understand. I don't go out and don't let anyone near me during bad flares! I'm really, really vigilant about my weight and skin because of the prednisone and Lupus. I don't want to look like I feel!!! Totally off-topic but has your hubby tried Remicade infusions? They made a huge difference for me in controlling the Crohn's. There are other infusion therapies out now, too!
The wife has never mentioned her husband having health problems. But when I met him, he didn't even say hello to me -- he just launched into questioning me about a sensitive problem I was facing. I thought that was super-rude and I was rather perturbed that she had even told him about it! Didn't leave a good impression.
On the contrary! I have no expectations, therefore few disappointments.
But since you went with an ad hominem nasty rather than simply disagreeing with I wrote, can I take this to mean you're either one of those men who proudly displays a huge gut or married to one?! Hahahahahahahaha
Good luck to YOU!
No, just post a good picture of yourself and he'll spam you
I recently met the spouse of a colleague. I was SHOCKED!!! He is fat, had bad skin and an ugly face there is no way I'd want to wake up to every morning, and he was unpleasant and coarse, to boot! The colleague is attractive, nice, and really a good person. I know she's a devoted Christian, so I'm sure that's part of the equation but I'm wondering...
How on EARTH do you remain committed when your spouse has turned into a fat, unpleasant troll??? I'm not totally superficial, LOL. I've actually fallen for homely guys at times because they had absolutely wonderful qualities. But, to me, when someone lets himself or herself get obese, that shows a lack of self-respect and respect for one's partner, too. I can overlook a lot of things if the person is kind and talented, but obesity is something I can't abide.
What's up with this and what do y'all do about it?
I'd never let them get to that point, as far as the obesity. My lifestyle revolves around fitness, and any spouse that I would have, would have the same focus. But for those people that are married for many years, well...you gotta admire them for staying committed.
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He's ugly? 
