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I do still care for my ex a ton! She knows this and really feels the same, but she's in a new relationship to confuse things.
I'm wanting an opinion on what you all think of her new bf. I'm not looking for an ego boost, just knowing some unbiased opinions.
Some quick background info. He was in a serious relationship and got engaged throughout this relationship he cheated several times and was controlling to the bride to be. Since then he's been seeing several girls (I've talked to most past exes that I knew) and they all say the same things about him. Hes a player, he thinks only of himself and so on and so on. Oh and controlling.
They've been together for 3-4 months. She has never met him otherwise.
So currently there are some girls (and his step brother) telling me he is playing her and is seeing other girls. My ex herself has her suspicions.
Okay so now things my ex tells me. While they are out double dating he seems to pay attention to the other date. When they are alone he will tell her something like "you see those girls, they are checking me out". She says he walks like a cocky person and is overall attitude is cocky (and he admits this). He was willing to meet her knowing she was in a relationship. He talks to previous sexual partners and other girls currently and tells her but he's just "playing along with them". He mostly texts at his convenience. If shes sick and can't hang out he gets upset. He tells her that she ignores him for her schooling and now shes taken three zeros in a class, and had to drop another class. He talks about her little brother (7yrs old) (wanting to know if hes going to be gay... what the hell) and talks about her sister. He is rude and really says nothing to her mom and dad. He thinks "black people thinks they rule the world" and if his child was gay he would beat them, and he would divorce a girl if she went blind. Recently he "stalked" her as she put it to pay his $320.00 phone bill and supposedly was paying it back but hasnt till yet. Shes caught him in lies. Shes asked about the cheating and of course he denies it, but says there is no proof if he is anyway?!?!?
Another thing is he has girls pics on his myspace profile and not her pic. He says "I am my own hero....i amaze myself! sumhow i find ways to get thru situations PPL put me thru... yea.."
Somehow he still "wins" he smooths it over and its all better to her??!!
With all of this he says he has changed. The hell kind of change idk. All of this and her reasoning for staying is she really likes him. Because he was popular and is good looking. She knows shes with him for the wrong reasons but she just likes him. What the hell is she thinking??
Whew that felt good to get out... Sorry for the LONG post! And thanks for reading!!
Last edited by willacoochee; 12-13-2009 at 09:22 PM..
Reason: title error
I do still care for my ex a ton! She knows this and really feels the same, but she's in a new relationship to confuse things.
I'm wanting an opinion on what you all think of her new bf. I'm not looking for an ego boost, just knowing some unbiased opinions.
Some quick background info. He was in a serious relationship and got engaged throughout this relationship he cheated several times and was controlling to the bride to be. Since then he's been seeing several girls (I've talked to most past exes that I knew) and they all say the same things about him. Hes a player, he thinks only of himself and so on and so on. Oh and controlling.
They've been together for 3-4 months. She has never met him otherwise.
So currently there are some girls (and his step brother) telling me he is playing her and is seeing other girls. My ex herself has her suspicions.
Okay so now things my ex tells me. While they are out double dating he seems to pay attention to the other date. When they are alone he will tell her something like "you see those girls, they are checking me out". She says he walks like a cocky person and is overall attitude is cocky (and he admits this). He was willing to meet her knowing she was in a relationship. He talks to previous sexual partners and other girls currently and tells her but he's just "playing along with them". He mostly texts at his convenience. If shes sick and can't hang out he gets upset. He tells her that she ignores him for her schooling and now shes taken three zeros in a class, and had to drop another class. He talks about her little brother (7yrs old) (wanting to know if hes going to be gay... what the hell) and talks about her sister. He is rude and really says nothing to her mom and dad. He thinks "black people thinks they rule the world" and if his child was gay he would beat them, and he would divorce a girl if she went blind. Recently he "stalked" her as she put it to pay his $320.00 phone bill and supposedly was paying it back but hasnt till yet. Shes caught him in lies. Shes asked about the cheating and of course he denies it, but says there is no proof if he is anyway?!?!?
Another thing is he has girls pics on his myspace profile and not her pic. He says "I am my own hero....i amaze myself! sumhow i find ways to get thru situations PPL put me thru... yea.."
Somehow he still "wins" he smooths it over and its all better to her??!!
With all of this he says he has changed. The hell kind of change idk. All of this and her reasoning for staying is she really likes him. Because he was popular and is good looking. She knows shes with him for the wrong reasons but she just likes him. What the hell is she thinking??
Whew that felt good to get out... Sorry for the LONG post! And thanks for reading!!
Well, she's NOT thinking - that is the problem. Hopefully she wises up soon before she becomes just another notch in his belt.
Unfortunately, this is her lesson to learn, and you can't make her learn it. Voice your concerns, but then let it go. If you keep harping on it you only come off looking jealous, and that would encourage her more toward him.
Curious...does she talk to you quite a bit about this new relationship? I stayed pretty good friends with an ex but didn't care to hear the details about his new woman, nor did he feel the need to share. Just a little weird. I dunno, maybe it's just me.
If you do still have romantic feelings towards her just be careful not to get your heart crushed in the process.
Well, she's NOT thinking - that is the problem. Hopefully she wises up soon before she becomes just another notch in his belt.
Unfortunately, this is her lesson to learn, and you can't make her learn it. Voice your concerns, but then let it go. If you keep harping on it you only come off looking jealous, and that would encourage her more toward him.
I do know her lesson to learn, and I've tried to come off as not being jealous because I am the ex. Me and her was just best friends 5yrs before this so... Its hard for me to see her get hurt!
Curious...does she talk to you quite a bit about this new relationship? I stayed pretty good friends with an ex but didn't care to hear the details about his new woman, nor did he feel the need to share. Just a little weird. I dunno, maybe it's just me.
If you do still have romantic feelings towards her just be careful not to get your heart crushed in the process.
Yes, we do talk ALOT... however now I've told her I'm not interested because I am getting my heart crushed in all of this! I hate to loose what friendship we had, but I can't hardly do it no more!
Yes, we do talk ALOT... however now I've told her I'm not interested because I am getting my heart crushed in all of this! I hate to loose what friendship we had, but I can't hardly do it no more!
Yeah, it must be hard. I know it sounds cliche but if she is really your friend and cares about you, she will understand that it's difficult for you to hear it. The next time she tries talking about it just say "I'm sorry, I want to be your friend but it's too hard to hear this." If she keeps coming back to talk to you about it, then you'll have to resort to more drastic measures such as not taking her calls, etc.
And for sure, allow yourself to move on from the past too. Not being wrapped up in her new relationship will definitely help you with that.
I'm not sure what to say, other than to keep being a friend, and be careful of your own heart so you don't get hurt.
I can sort of relate because an ex of mine is spending a lot of time with his ex-girlfriend (the one he was dating before me). He broke up with her around the same time I met him and all I heard while we were going out was how bad she treated him, and how they fought all the time. Well, since we broke up he's apparently missing me and turned to her for some sort of comfort. She's still treating him like crap and I worry about him (I heard some info from a friend of his, which is how I know what's going on). I want to keep being his friend, but at the same time I can't lead him on so I have to keep my distance and hope that his ex doesn't really hurt him this time around.
Yeah, it must be hard. I know it sounds cliche but if she is really your friend and cares about you, she will understand that it's difficult for you to hear it. The next time she tries talking about it just say "I'm sorry, I want to be your friend but it's too hard to hear this." If she keeps coming back to talk to you about it, then you'll have to resort to more drastic measures such as not taking her calls, etc.
And for sure, allow yourself to move on from the past too. Not being wrapped up in her new relationship will definitely help you with that.
Good luck
Thank you! It is hard. Ive came to the conclusion she wants to be talk with me only when shes not with him or whenever they are having bad moments which is regular. Just hard to "walk out" on someone you actually care about and love knowing her current really dont. He's turned this into a game, because he told her "he's really competative".
Who the hell would wanna be with someone like this?
I think you may have it right when you say he's her "rebound." It's possible that she knows he's a player and that's why she's with him; she doesn't want another real relationship so soon after your breakup.
FYI: Women go for "bad boys" when we're taking a break from relationships. Now you know.
I'm not sure what to say, other than to keep being a friend, and be careful of your own heart so you don't get hurt.
I can sort of relate because an ex of mine is spending a lot of time with his ex-girlfriend (the one he was dating before me). He broke up with her around the same time I met him and all I heard while we were going out was how bad she treated him, and how they fought all the time. Well, since we broke up he's apparently missing me and turned to her for some sort of comfort. She's still treating him like crap and I worry about him (I heard some info from a friend of his, which is how I know what's going on). I want to keep being his friend, but at the same time I can't lead him on so I have to keep my distance and hope that his ex doesn't really hurt him this time around.
Yes we can relate then! Me and mine spends a good amount of time, she even spent the night at my house recently. I've learned to never believe anything an ex says. Its definately hard not to worry about someone you care about and frustrating!!!!
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recently. I've learned to never believe anything an ex says. Its definately hard not to worry about someone you care about and frustrating!!!!
