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Similar happened to me when I was a nipper of 21. It was an exclusive relationship as far as I was concerned, but apparently not to him. (He was a year older).
He was seeing guys while he was with me, then dated another girl which really made me see red, so I left him. In fact, I left the state but thats another story.
I wasnt actually upset about the guys, it was the girl - serious competition you see. I was 21...it was a loooong time ago.
Anyway, apparently neither of us were much of an ad for the feminine pulchitrude (sp?) thing, b/c he's been gay ever since. And monogamous.
If it happened now, with my SO...well I'd be confused for one thing. And curious. And hurt. My SO meets a lot of gay men because of where I work, and I know many are attracted to him. He is by no means a homophobe, but he's quite clear on preferring women. Well, one in particular...I hope!
(No I'm not saying you're a homophobe if you dont like guys, just not expressing myself very well).
So, it'd come as a real shock. I'd also be wondering about the state of communication in our relationship.
No way, no how. That is something that I simply couldn't abide.
If he was hanging out in the gay culture/club scene to meet men, that lifestyle is notoriously promiscuous. I'd be deathly afraid of him contracting AIDS and passing it along to me.
Right, because straight people are so conspicuously monogamous. And HIV is clearly a gays-only disease. With a divorce rate eclipsing 50%, and hetero men being so notoriously short on libido in comparison to their gay counterparts, breeders are looking fabulous in comparison.
This is the kind of reasoning that doesn't pick off the weak ones fast enough.
So what if they're bi? It doesn't mean that they're sleeping around. It doesn't mean that they aren't monogamous, if you also can't handle not being the most important person in a relationship. If your ego is that brittle that you can't handle that, you just shouldn't be dating period. I'm always amazed and a little disturbed at how vanilla most of my fellow Americans are.
Similar happened to me when I was a nipper of 21. It was an exclusive relationship as far as I was concerned, but apparently not to him. (He was a year older).
He was seeing guys while he was with me, then dated another girl which really made me see red, so I left him. In fact, I left the state but thats another story.
I wasnt actually upset about the guys, it was the girl - serious competition you see. I was 21...it was a loooong time ago.
Anyway, apparently neither of us were much of an ad for the feminine pulchitrude (sp?) thing, b/c he's been gay ever since. And monogamous.
If it happened now, with my SO...well I'd be confused for one thing. And curious. And hurt. My SO meets a lot of gay men because of where I work, and I know many are attracted to him. He is by no means a homophobe, but he's quite clear on preferring women. Well, one in particular...I hope!
(No I'm not saying you're a homophobe if you dont like guys, just not expressing myself very well).
So, it'd come as a real shock. I'd also be wondering about the state of communication in our relationship.
Personally i would worry about me killing him, guys and a girl, i'd be worry about diseases know what i'm talking about.
Well nowadays, yes, I think we're all better informed. I work for the AIDS Council, so I have a bit of a clue. With the first guy though, this was in 1984, and AIDS was something gay men in SF caught.
Personally i would worry about me killing him, guys and a girl, i'd be worry about diseases know what i'm talking about.
No, I don't. I really, truly don't.
What is it with these backwards, 50's-era conceptions of gay men? Jesus Cristo, folks, get on with the times. HIV isn't a gay disease. Nor is VD of any type.
Unprotected sex is unprotected sex. For gay men, straight folks or lesbians. Doesn't make a difference.
Well, gay people aren't responsible for our severe orphan problem worldwide, but somehow that irresponsible behavior gets covered up under "diseases".
Right, because straight people are so conspicuously monogamous. And HIV is clearly a gays-only disease. With a divorce rate eclipsing 50%, and hetero men being so notoriously short on libido in comparison to their gay counterparts, breeders are looking fabulous in comparison.
This is the kind of reasoning that doesn't pick off the weak ones fast enough.
So what if they're bi? It doesn't mean that they're sleeping around. It doesn't mean that they aren't monogamous, if you also can't handle not being the most important person in a relationship. If your ego is that brittle that you can't handle that, you just shouldn't be dating period. I'm always amazed and a little disturbed at how vanilla most of my fellow Americans are.
Very well said Coldwine!!!!
I guess there's a great double standard when it comes to men being bisexual. When a woman wants to bring home another woman, men are all for it.
I guess there's a great double standard when it comes to men being bisexual. When a woman wants to bring home another woman, men are all for it.
Just for the record, I wouldn't be bringing home another woman and my concerns regarding a partner coming out as bisexual in our relationship are purely for the emotional distress it would cause me because I can only be female, therefore I would not be able to fully satisfy his needs and I don't really want to be in a relationship like that. (with a heterosexual man either).
I understand that if a guy IS bisexual it can be difficult to mention such a thing but I would be pissed if he didn't tell me.
I have no problem being friends with bisexuals. A couple of my friends are and I love them to bits and have absolutely no concerns about them with regard AIDS or any other disease ABOVE AND BEYOND the normal concerns I have of any of my friends becoming infected but ultimately I don't have the kind of emotional make up that could cope with being involved with a bisexual. SO it's not really about them. It's about recognizing what I can and cannot cope with.
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