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And those abusive masters of manipulation are the dangerous ones to steer well clear of. Hope he doesn't have any of your personal information. You have to be REALLY careful online. There are some real predators out there.
Nah, he doesn't. Thankfully I am pretty conscious of that part of it.
If you are going to do the online dating thing, do yourself a favor don't consider anyone as being worthy of your emotions until you meet face to face. This guy is a total stranger to you still, so it should be easy to drop him and move on.
You aren't kidding! He would always tell me what I was trying to say and I tried so hard to let this guy know that I really was interested in him. I mean, he was so sweet too, but he was so keen on letting me know that he didn't want me to feel forced.
I knew a guy like that, thank God it never went anywhere. He always made me feel horrible over things that I didn't really do and/or weren't my fault. Like others have said, you didn't do anything wrong, he's manipulative and insecure, so just let it go.
I'm taking it that you have not had many relationships. The email conversations and phone conversation you have had with this guy has RED FLAG all over it. For a newly formed friendship or acquaintance that has so much negative and drama attached is unbelievable. This guy has HUGE issues, to say the least. Sounds like he has way too many insecurities than you or most women could possibly deal with. He also sounds like someone who would be very possessive and controlling. I would have a hard time believing that you would need to settle for someone of this character. Stay away from him. Do not embellish him by answering his emails, or calling him. Get outta Dodge while you still can. You will find a mate, be patient. Wait for that special one that really cherishes you.
I'm taking it that you have not had many relationships. The email conversations and phone conversation you have had with this guy has RED FLAG all over it. For a newly formed friendship or acquaintance that has so much negative and drama attached is unbelievable. This guy has HUGE issues, to say the least. Sounds like he has way too many insecurities than you or most women could possibly deal with. He also sounds like someone who would be very possessive and controlling. I would have a hard time believing that you would need to settle for someone of this character. Stay away from him. Do not embellish him by answering his emails, or calling him. Get outta Dodge while you still can. You will find a mate, be patient. Wait for that special one that really cherishes you.
I agree, thank you for the advice. I deleted him from my Yahoo! Messenger. Like, even outside of dating, I have a good feel for people, so even without a lot of experience, I can at least avoid crazy folks.
Which leads me to something else! There is this guy that messaged me and his profile is great. I mean, we have a lot of the same interests, he seems like a successful and hard-working man and I think he is very handsome. So, he messages me online and he says, "Hi beautiful," as the first ever message. He then asks me if I can send my picture to his phone! What?! And my pictures are on my profile. He then says he has to call his Mom. This guy's profile was the greatest profile ever, he seemed like a regular dude who works and likes to have a good time, now I'm like, "Why is he asking me so many times to send my picture to his phone?" He was more interested in 5 minutes of talking to get me to send a photo to his phone than really talking to me. lol
I created a profile online for the first hoping to meet a guy that I was physically attracted to and could hang out with, do things with and eventually have a relationship with. There is a man who I was attracted to and he seemed like someone I would like to get to know, I'm thinking at least I can get to know him better to see if I want to go out with him. So, one day, he sends me an email and he is like, "So, I guess I'm not hot enough?" and "You seemed cool, but you are shallow." I'm like, "What?" At this point, I'm thinking about how he is coming off as insecure or dramatic or sensitive in a dramatic or maybe mental kind of way. So, I was like, "This isn't a good sign." I should've stopped right there, but I wanted to hear him out and also, I guess, I was defending myself as he called me shallow and I knew I wasn't. So, he explains that he saw that I had read his email and that I could've taken the time to email him back. I didn't remember reading his email, but I told him, "OK, sorry, but I didn't mean to come off like that."
So, he gives me his number and I call him. We talk for a long time, I mean long. I'm feeling him, I'm excited, you know. Then I get to thinking about the fact that he lives 38 miles away and I really wanted someone that lived in my city because I am not familiar with the highways, driving and all of that. I didn't really want to have to drive far when I wanted to be with someone.
So, we are talking about 2 hours ago and I ask him about how he thought he and I could get together. He had mentioned last night that he was not driving. I followed up on that today because I wanted to know what that was about. He explained that it wasn't DUI or anything like that, but that he was losing hours "in a small town" and basically implying, I guess, that he couldn't afford to drive. So, I'm starting to think, "I don't know if I want to be driving all this time whenever I want to see this guy," because we were really enjoying talking to one another. I explain to him that I really want someone that eventually I can be with just by hopping in the car and going over to his place.
He is kinda straight and to the point, so he starts drilling me on how he doesn't even want to talk if I don't feel like "he is worth the drive." I tell him that I understand that and I guess I'm trying to tell him whether that is true or not. I really don't know at the moment how I feel completely, but he is basically giving me an ultimatum.
So, he basically hangs up and then online he is like, "Damn, even the good ones play games," and "Where are the real females at?"
I feel like crap right now because I have NEVER, EVER tried to play games with ANY man and I mean that. I wasn't trying to play games, I just didn't know what I was wanting to do at that moment.
What did I do wrong because I don't want to make ANYONE feel like that again? I feel so bad right now. I knew he was a very blunt and I guess, sensitive guy when I read his profile and I was OK with that because I felt where he was coming from on relationships. I do not want to hurt anyone, that's everything that I stand against when it comes to relationships, so to have someone feeling this way at the hands of what I've done really puts me in a position that I never thought I would be in or want to be in. I do feel guilty of not knowing what importance the distance was at first, so that we not have ended up like this. Yet, I didn't start thinking about that until we started feeling one another.
He had told me that he really is interested in me, that he had never had these kinds of conversations with a woman before and that no other woman had made him think of me in this way (this is what he told me today). We really had a long phone conversation last night and it was very easy to talk to one another.
RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!!!
The guy is passive aggressive and you don't need to be driving over to ANY guy's home even if he lives in your town. You want someone so interested in you that he will find a way to come to you...especially in the beginning. Please - it doesn't matter how much you enjoyed talking with this guy...SIGN OFF -- do not continue to engage him. What kind of guy makes a woman feel bad before she's even MET him or had a date with him...can you imagine how much worse you will feel if you were dating him and he did this kind of @#%$ to you every time you did or said anything he didn't like?
Please please please -- there are great guys out there...don't allow this person to make you feel bad and write him OFF...PLEASE!
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