How Do You Get Over a Broken Heart?

[STP554987]

Originally Posted by KickAssArmyChick

I have had a few relationships but nothing like my marriage.

I moved for him, the side of the family I am close to is in Canada. I am in Colorado alone.

I did everything I could to make it work. Now I feel so worthless and I don't know what else. I know I shouldn't feel like this...but right now I can't help it.

Maybe someday I will be able to see the big picture and move on...and not look back.

So my question is...how do you get over a break up, a painful one?

Have any of you had a really ****ty ending to your relationship and basically thought life was over...? How did you move on past all of that?

I remember I posted something exactly like yours quite a while ago about how the memories do not pass, they seem to always be there and how the people we want to get away from seem to never really release us. I remember your advice for me was to go and get "help." Maybe you should go and do the same thing. Go get "help."

[EdJones]

wow, it's been a looooong time since i last posted anything in the forums....mostly because I was dealing with the exact same situation the OP has presented here.

I agree with the advise given by many wise people here. Right on.

Getting over a broken heart in the context of a divorce is perhaps the most difficult thing anybody can go through. But I assume the process is similar for other types of relationships. A broken heart is a broken heart regardless.

The one thing that has helped me the most is giving myself permission to - i humbly admit.

It bruised my male ego at first; but the more I , the more I was able to move through the grieving process.

The second thing that has helped is to push myself to do things alone. Yes, I understand the benefit of making new friends to have additional support systems. That helps fight the initial depression away. But when it comes to the reality of the grieving process, you must be able to learn how to be by yourself - slowly. Like going to the movies alone, going to the local bar alone, etc. That's where I've found the solitude to find myself again.

At first it was horrible because I did not want to be alone. But now I am getting more used to it, and it helps me greatly.

[Drover]

Originally Posted by KickAssArmyChick

Oh yeah. I feel alive! I needed to get out and I got out...and now I am far, far away from him.

We told ya so.

Good to hear things are working out for you. Getting out of even a lousy relationship can hurt, but it's a relief like no other.

ETA: I guess I should have known when I raised this thread from the dead that people would treat it like this just happened yesterday.

[KongAtTheGates]

One word. Whiskey

[LexusNexus]

I had my heart broken twice. The first time I imagined her sitting alone in an empty room. She was draped over a chair that had a broken leg. In her hand was a half-empty bottle of whiskey that she had consumed trying to find the strength to face a life without me. This image helped me move on. Helps to make light of the situation sometimes.

The second time, I focused on the reasons that it didn't work out and focused on her negatives. This made me glad to be moving on. I decided to exercise more and improve myself in preparation for the better woman I was meant to be with. That woman eventually came too and I've been married to her for 21 years now.