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Because you are trying to resolve in the current relationship what you could not resolve in the last one. Classic example is the woman with the alcoholic father who always dates/marries alcoholics. In addition, it may be the only kind of relationship you know how to have with someone. As bad as it may be, it's familiar.
Well, all I can say to that is that I am so so happy that I never had to deal with that kind of stuff. I've never been codependent in my entire life and I managed to not make the same mistakes twice. I never blamed a man for what another one had done either or expected them to do the same. Every relationship started out with trust and stayed that way until they proved themselves to not be trustworthy. How hard is that??
It might've had something to do with science at some point, but at this time it's simply a joke and a pretty cruel joke at that because all these poisons prescribed to people have detrimental side effects and even lead to suicides. I'm not even going to go into the "minor" side effects - obesity being one of the side effects of most meds. There is no shame in this "market"! You see a page-long ad for medication supposed to relieve depression and one of its side effects is "suicidal thoughts" (in teeny-tiny print, of course)! Something has to be very wrong with this picture, don't you think?
How would you explain the process of "voting" more and more "diseases" into the already bloated DSM? We need more and more billing codes, right?! Because they're never enough! Logically and scientifically explained things do NOT need to be voted on by corrupt charlatans!
i love this post. totaly illuminating.
your best. you got rep. . open is good. excellent job.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 02-08-2010 at 10:10 AM..
Well, all I can say to that is that I am so so happy that I never had to deal with that kind of stuff. I've never been codependent in my entire life and I managed to not make the same mistakes twice. I never blamed a man for what another one had done either or expected them to do the same. Every relationship started out with trust and stayed that way until they proved themselves to not be trustworthy. How hard is that??
It might've had something to do with science at some point, but at this time it's simply a joke and a pretty cruel joke at that because all these poisons prescribed to people have detrimental side effects and even lead to suicides. I'm not even going to go into the "minor" side effects - obesity being one of the side effects of most meds. There is no shame in this "market"! You see a page-long ad for medication supposed to relieve depression and one of its side effects is "suicidal thoughts" (in teeny-tiny print, of course)! Something has to be very wrong with this picture, don't you think?
How would you explain the process of "voting" more and more "diseases" into the already bloated DSM? We need more and more billing codes, right?! Because they're never enough! Logically and scientifically explained things do NOT need to be voted on by corrupt charlatans!
More generalizations....there's nothing here to argue because there is no reaching you!
Well, our friend Huck didn't respond MQ ,I'm thinking it's more of a coping mechanism,
the more the spouse ignored the problem, the worse the one with the dependency issue became.
Possibly they medicated as their coping stategy. Really strange dynamic.
I, too, am interested in what Huck says, but I am answering--or more accurately, I am asking another question--just how is that (ignoring as if it's not happening) not the same as enabling/codependency? Maybe just another manifestation of it?[/quote]
I guess my question is: Do you consider that "codependent"? Do you consider it "stupid"?
I'd consider it codependent. Not so much stupid as futile.
I can call myself stupid for putting up with what I did. I won't call someone else stupid for being in a futile relationship when I don't know the details of how they got there and why they stay.
I'd consider it codependent. Not so much stupid as futile.
I can call myself stupid for putting up with what I did. I won't call someone else stupid for being in a futile relationship when I don't know the details of how they got there and why they stay.
Good post, and pretty much the point I was trying to make with this thread.
Some people can be so judgmental when they see someone else doing something that is "stupid" in their eyes. Just because "you" would handle a certain situation a certain way, doesn't mean that your way is the only right way to do it. In fact, like another poster said, thinking that you are always right is narcissistic. Sometimes a little understanding can go a long way to helping the person you think is hurting themselves with their behavior. Just saying "get over it" isn't going to help at all.
What? I'm being codependent and stupid? Oh, golly gosh darn I didn't realize. Thank you SO much for clearing that up for me. I'll run right out and divorce my alcoholic husband and father of my six kids even though I don't have a job, because it's what you think I should do
Good post, and pretty much the point I was trying to make with this thread.
Some people can be so judgmental when they see someone else doing something that is "stupid" in their eyes. Just because "you" would handle a certain situation a certain way, doesn't mean that your way is the only right way to do it. In fact, like another poster said, thinking that you are always right is narcissistic. Sometimes a little understanding can go a long way to helping the person you think is hurting themselves with their behavior. Just saying "get over it" isn't going to help at all.
What? I'm being codependent and stupid? Oh, golly gosh darn I didn't realize. Thank you SO much for clearing that up for me. I'll run right out and divorce my alcoholic husband and father of my six kids even though I don't have a job, because it's what you think I should do
Can't rep you again, but that's exactly it. You aren't going to try to escape from the dungeon when you don't even know you're in one, and once you do know, it takes a lot of work to figure out how to get out. Or even that it's possible to do so.
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Something has to be very wrong with this picture, don't you think?
Really strange dynamic.
