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Marriage benefits men more? Ha ha, nice one. Anyone who believes that is as stupid as the author.
Men are ten times more likely than women to commit sucide following a divorce.
You just drove home her point in that men fair better in marriage emotionally, mentally and physically than not - you are talking about divorce not marriage.
This I found on the net from a MALE author: It is common for men to blame themselves after the divorce because they feel that divorce could have been averted if they had been more sensitive to their troubled marriage. Truth is, no matter how much a wife complains about problems or concerns in a marriage, husbands mostly never understand the importance of these issues. For that reason, when wives file for a divorce, most husbands are in state of shock. When men are unable to deal with their feelings of guilt, bitterness, loneliness, and anger, suicide seems to be the only alternative. James Walsh James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor.
Again, it's about functioning better emotionally, mentally and physically in a marriage instead of out of one and what she discovered, to her own dismay, just the opposite holds true for married women. This finding, she explained, went against everything she thought and was raised to believe too.
What the first author is pointing out is that women have been raised to think 'romantic love' and conditioned for a wedding instead of actual love which is why they end up disappointed and unhappy when that expectation is not met - and she included herself in that ideal regarding her first marriage. And in marriages based solely on 'romantic love' expectations there is a higher rate of divorce. She is presenting her findings of study and it shows what to think about when choosing the right partner to get married to in the first place in order to avoid divorce altogether
Last edited by Thursday007; 02-15-2010 at 02:29 AM..
Hmmmm...you could be right. I mean having to take care of yourself IS really hard sometimes.
I know! I do it all the time!
It's funny how men and women constantly argue about how to share housework and responsibilities and then when they split each one has to take on the entire burden they bickered over!
Author of Eat, Pray Love discusses marriage vs. a wedding and types of marriages with CNN's Cambell Brown
(Excerpt)
CNN: Marriage has often been portrayed as something that protects women. But you found in your book that it benefits men the most. Were you surprised by that?
Gilbert: It's surprising, though it shouldn't be. Looking at study after study, it becomes quite chilling to see how very much benefited men are by marriage. Married men perform in life exceptionally better than single men, they live longer, they're richer, they're happier.
CNN: And yet men are often reluctant to enter into marriage.
Gilbert: Which is the big irony. They have to be dragged kicking and screaming into something that will benefit them enormously in life. And the cruel irony is that the people who drag them kicking and screaming into it -- the women -- are the ones who often find that they've gotten the short end of the stick.
Women give more and as a result they give up more.
I think the other problem is that women go into marriage with such high expectations, really inflated romantic ideas about what this relationship is going to be. Men go into marriage with virtually no expectations whatsoever. Ten years later, the men are delightfully surprised to find out that it's actually kind of nice, and the women have sort of had to take a nose dive from what they thought it was going to be.
You just drove home her point in that men fair better in marriage emotionally, mentally and physically than not - you are talking about divorce not marriage.
This I found on the net from a MALE author: It is common for men to blame themselves after the divorce because they feel that divorce could have been averted if they had been more sensitive to their troubled marriage. Truth is, no matter how much a wife complains about problems or concerns in a marriage, husbands mostly never understand the importance of these issues. For that reason, when wives file for a divorce, most husbands are in state of shock. When men are unable to deal with their feelings of guilt, bitterness, loneliness, and anger, suicide seems to be the only alternative. James Walsh James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor.
Again, it's about functioning better emotionally, mentally and physically in a marriage instead of out of one and what she discovered, to her own dismay, just the opposite holds true for married women. This finding, she explained, went against everything she thought and was raised to believe too.
What the first author is pointing out is that women have been raised to think 'romantic love' and conditioned for a wedding instead of actual love which is why they end up disappointed and unhappy when that expectation is not met - and she included herself in that ideal regarding her first marriage. And in marriages based solely on 'romantic love' expectations there is a higher rate of divorce. She is presenting her findings of study and it shows what to think about when choosing the right partner to get married to in the first place in order to avoid divorce altogether
That man hit the nail on the head about men not really listening to their wives when they feel they need to discuss a problem. That's a lot why it gets brought up over and over again. There comes a point when a woman simply can't try to talk about it anymore, decides her husband "just doesn't care" and leaves. As she's walking out the door the poor guy is left standing there saying "What?? There's a problem? Why didn't you tell me?!". Well, she did but sometimes men take that as nagging and tune it out or just don't see it as anything "important".
The lady has certainly learned her 'life lessons' and it would be nice if the younger women pay attention to what she says. I can see the truth of it all.
It's funny how men and women constantly argue about how to share housework and responsibilities and then when they split each one has to take on the entire burden they bickered over!
That really made me laugh just because it is soooo true! I always want to say stuff like that to women who complain that their SOs don't 'help out around the house'. What are they going to do when they leave him for it? Hire a housekeeper??
That really made me laugh just because it is soooo true! I always want to say stuff like that to women who complain that their SOs don't 'help out around the house'. What are they going to do when they leave him for it? Hire a housekeeper??
Well, it's just that at the time everybody wants things to be somewhat fair and nobody wants to be taken advantage of; however, in the long run the work load increases... Even the laziest man contributes to SOMETHING, be it income, car repairs, heavy lifting, house repairs & remodeling, yard work, etc., and those chores have to be taken care of one way or another - either by exhausting yourself or paying people. Usually it's a combination of both.
Author of Eat, Pray Love discusses marriage vs. a wedding and types of marriages with CNN's Cambell Brown
(Excerpt)
CNN: Marriage has often been portrayed as something that protects women. But you found in your book that it benefits men the most. Were you surprised by that?
Gilbert: It's surprising, though it shouldn't be. Looking at study after study, it becomes quite chilling to see how very much benefited men are by marriage. Married men perform in life exceptionally better than single men, they live longer, they're richer, they're happier.
CNN: And yet men are often reluctant to enter into marriage.
Gilbert: Which is the big irony. They have to be dragged kicking and screaming into something that will benefit them enormously in life. And the cruel irony is that the people who drag them kicking and screaming into it -- the women -- are the ones who often find that they've gotten the short end of the stick.
Women give more and as a result they give up more.
I think the other problem is that women go into marriage with such high expectations, really inflated romantic ideas about what this relationship is going to be. Men go into marriage with virtually no expectations whatsoever. Ten years later, the men are delightfully surprised to find out that it's actually kind of nice, and the women have sort of had to take a nose dive from what they thought it was going to be.
Ohh for god's sake! Want me to explain how he arrived at these false conclusions?
A. married men live longer than nonmarried: He's factoring in everybody who died before they got married! Kids don't marry! Teens who die before marriage! Young adults who die in Combat or accidents or complications.
B. He's pushing a religious book!
C. They're richer! true! He's factoring in every priest, and person who doesn't bother to amass large wealth because they are ...F R E E to not do so!
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