Author Finds Marriage Benefits Men more than Women (Latin, divorce, romantic)

[NMyTree]

Originally Posted by Onglet39

That she actually believes that men "have to be dragged kicking and screaming" into marriage tells me there is something wrong with her.
Eat Pray Love is on my mental to-read list, but I just keep pushing it back.

I think there's a mispelling on the title of the book.....

Eat, Prey and Love .......

Sounds more appropriate.

[OngletNYC]

Originally Posted by sophialee

It's a good, quick read. I like the Eat part in Italy the best. LOL.

Honestly, I have a feeling I will really hate the book, so I keep putting it off.

[sun queen]

Interesting study: I am hoping to drag some guy kicking and screaming... to give him the benefit of my life, and get nothing out of it just as soon as possible. I have no expectations of romance just a legally binding document that requires the man to come home at some point. Yeah right, I am sure... Women and men both marry with expectations of romance and happiness. Marriage should benefit both parties and good marriages do.

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by rubber_factory

I notice she didn't include anything about divorce in her study to determine that marriage benefits men more than women.

Of course not! That would easily negate any findings she has.

However, the important issue with “findings” like this is to consider the cause and effect. What is really happening? Does marriage make men healthier or do “healthy” men find it easier to get married. And since she has not looked at divorce’s effect on men, staying married is also an issue. So let’s look at several factors that are important in getting married:

1) Wealth and Income – this is an important factor in whether women choose to marry a man. It is also a prime determinant in health. Certainly there are exceptions but in general, people’s health improves with income. It is also a determinant in whether one stays married. Many women will stay in such a marriage for the money and tolerate much more from a spouse.

2) Attractiveness – men who have good looks are much more likely to attract women they want to marry. They may be athletic in their youth but often, the prime reason is having the family money to allow them to keep up the active lifestyle. The well off guys I knew at college usually spent much of their summers at the cottage or travelling and this gave them an edge over other men who had to work to get by at college and get ahead afterwards. They also had the benefit of starting with “good” genes since their parents and grandparents had the option to also marry “well”. Attractiveness is a predictor of good health so such men who are more likely to marry are starting with this health advantage.

3) Confidence – Women make a big deal about whether a man can pull off being “confident” – a dismissive and flippant, devil may care attitude that women interpret at showing that they have found a man who is worth pursuing. Having such a knack can reduce the debilitating stress in a man’s life over the long term. It helps him keep the upper hand in any relationship and means that he doesn’t have to worry about getting into a new one. Over the long run, this is an important determinant in whether a guy stays married or remarries and whether marriage is good for his health. Men who lack this talent are generally under considerable stress, of the debilitating type, while married, must work hard to keep their wife satisfied and are at high risk of divorce because hey have difficulty balancing work and marriage.

So I’d say that these sorts of “news” articles are just so much BS. They are designed to make woman readers feel better about abusing the men in their lives because “they are doing him a favor”! Good for advertising revenues. The relationship book market is geared to telling women what they want to hear.

[Thursday007]

[quote=NotARedneck;12923503]
Of course not! That would easily negate any findings she has.

She does discuss divorce as it has to do with the aftermath of her own divorce and she discovered a lot of things regarding men and women in marriage and one being a lot of women being raised with high ideals of 'romantic love' herself included and attributed herself to the demise of her marriage so she is not bashing men, if anything she is giving them way more credit than they've been given in the past regarding their overall practicality of marriage vs. women. Not that it applies to every single human being, but it is a theory I can attest to and understand.

The issue is more how some women are often disappointed in the marriage and feel they get the short end of the stick because such high expectations of romantic love aren't met and so they are more miserable in marriage than the men because men have a deeper sense of practicality. The things she discusses regarding the benefits to married men are opposite of that of married women which is opposite of what we've generally been taught. If you read her you can see she is not making this into a man hater scenerio but discovered something about views on marriage that were opposite of what she even thought and what a lot of people thought. She is simply providing an insight on selecting a partner for more than 'romantic love and affection' for better success in a marriage in the long haul. If all you have is 'romantic love, sex and infatuation' you have a higher rate of divorce.

[Thursday007]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eea6dGc3G5s


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_qhdPflUb8

[Renaldo5000]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

I have 12 Aunts and all of them have been divorced, some more than once. While they all had various reasons and no two were the same I can't tell you how the only thing they ever talked to me about as I grew up was planning out my wedding

It's unreal - this obsession that women have with marriage. I swear, it's more about having a grand event that revolves around them and having everybody pay attention to them than it is about devoting themself to a serious and committed relationship with a life partner.

As to married men ending up better, I disagree. Most of the married guys I know are bored or downright miserable. Most of them have also been divorced and had a significant amount of their assets taken away from them. While this is not the case for every marriage, I don't see the benefits for the majority of men who enter into the institution.

[Yzette]

I thought that what the OP said was established a long, long time ago.

Let's face it: Men created marriage back when marrying meant getting property or ruling an adjacent country, and the benefits have been stacked in their favor ever since.

However, perhaps it's most telling that at the old folks home, most of the men want to get married again, and most of the women want nothing to do with it.

The men want someone to take care of them.

The women say their days of taking care of a man are over.

Ask your grandma. She'll tell you.

[Thursday007]

Originally Posted by iwonderwhy2124

It's unreal - this obsession that women have with marriage. I swear, it's more about having a grand event that revolves around them and having everybody pay attention to them than it is about devoting themself to a serious and committed relationship with a life partner.

As to married men ending up better, I disagree. Most of the married guys I know are bored or downright miserable. Most of them have also been divorced and had a significant amount of their assets taken away from them. While this is not the case for every marriage, I don't see the benefits for the majority of men who enter into the institution.

That is precisely one of her points! I swear she says that almost word for word on that video interview I posted. 'That instead of real issues about a relationhip their focus is on the issue of what color the bridesmaids dresses are going to be.' She goes on to say 'that when a lot of young people say they want to get married what they are really saying is that they want a wedding. '

[Renaldo5000]

Originally Posted by Avienne

Let's face it: Men created marriage back when marrying meant getting property or ruling an adjacent country, and the benefits have been stacked in their favor ever since.

I disagree. Tell that to men who have had every cent they own and their homes taken away from them and given to the ex-wife.