Can players be good fathers? (date, man, child support, pregnant)
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My point is that when a couple with children divorces, there's other people who must bear the pain of their actions. Players, as a group, are less likely to care about the well-being of their children. We've all heard about parents abandoning their responsibilities to their children, so I don't think I need to elaborate here.
True, I'm sure it might hurt him more to have his father around in the first years and then he'll suddenly get tired of him and go away. That must be terrible for a young child.
Why not? I don't think that saying what she did is necessarily bad given the circumstances.
Why not? Limits and boundaries. There are laws in place that limit what people can say and do because they are angry.
You don't think it is bad, okay. I think it is. I look past the words to the character of the person saying it. There is enough info here to suggest, to me, that she is immature and petty.
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Her saying he'll treat the baby like a new toy and get tired of him is just her voicing her concern because yes, he did do that to her so it might be likely he'll do the same to the baby.
Again, the projection. It's a little on the arrogant side. While she is the baby's mom and that is important, she was clearly not as important to him as that baby seems to be.
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Not saying it will, but she definitely has a point in thinking that and she is venting. It would be worse for her to just bottle up her emotions and concerns.
It am not suggesting that she should bottle up her concerns. But is only your opinion that she is voicing a concern and venting. It is my opinion that she is bad mouthing him because she didn't get what she wanted from him, not because she has reason to think he is going to be a bad father. As of now, he has not done anything to suggest that he will. That is my point.
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I'm sorry but the player kinda does deserve to know how much he has hurt another human being with his actions.
I don't see that message in slamming him as a father 9 months later, or more. I would think she would have done that back when it happened.
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Besides, it's not like the baby is old enough to understand what she is saying now anyway.
It's not about whether or not the baby can understand, it's about her saying it, period.
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Wait a few years and let's see if the mother keeps her mouth shut.
Wait a few years and let's see if he actually gets tired of the baby.
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I would be more worried if she then was saying these kinds of things right in front of the child when he's older as well as calling the father every name in the book. Then she would definitely be baby mama drama.
Drama is relative, obviously.
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People shouldn't be having unprotected sex, I get it, but you also admit that he may have lead her on. In the heat of the moment, he might have been very manipulative. Being taken advantage of in a weak moment is being a victim.
I'm not trying to get technical on the definition of "victim". When I say she is no victim, I mean she had her part in this as well. The truth is we don't know much about all that happened between them. We do know, based on the info so far, that she feel in love pretty quickly, assumed they were in a committed relationship and saw no need to discuss it with him. Red flags all over that.
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Someone asked if players make good fathers, and from what I'm reading, at least he's coming around to see the baby, I'm not dismissing that. It's just that I don't see how taking care of the baby a couple times a week is being a "good" father.
True. It doesn't not make him a good father as well, but you failed to mention that. So that, along with your other aversions to my post and the fact that you think she is justified in her behavior, makes it dismissive, IMO.
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Thus, I'm answering the question based on my own opinion.
Isn't that what I did with my post? I'm not saying it is wrong to post your opinion on my opinion, by the way. I'm just sayin'.
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What problems? This is what I am disagreeing with you on mostly. You are calling her a drama mama when I don't see any evidence of that.
Apparently. Some things are acceptable to some people and not to others. What you think is acceptable is not acceptable to me.
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Is she letting him see the baby?
Apparently.
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Is she attacking the father when he comes to visit? Is she bad mouthing him then?
I don't know. Is there anything in this thread, before you wrote this, that suggests anything one way one way or the other? I haven't seen it. If I missed it, please quote it.
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Unless I missed something, she hasn't really caused all that much "drama" besides stating her concerns on the matter to a friend. It would be baby mama drama if she was getting all up in his face and screaming at him.
I was not aware that this alone defines drama. I see the big picture, from how she handled her relationship with him to now. I see drama.
Again, "stating her concerns" is just your interpretation, just as I have mine. Mine comes from that big picture.
No, she doesn't badmouth him when he's around. Everything she has said about him was to me and in private.
It's awkward though, when he goes to see him for obvious reasons. She just remembers what happened because, this is my personal opinion, she still loves him very much, despite the cheating. True feelings don't go away that fast.
No, she doesn't badmouth him when he's around. Everything she has said about him was to me and in private.
It's awkward though, when he goes to see him for obvious reasons. She just remembers what happened because, this is my personal opinion, she still loves him very much, despite the cheating. True feelings don't go away that fast.
That is what I am seeing. And, you know, it's not unreasonable that she still feels for him. But some people just don't know how to handle rejection and this is just one example of what they do about it.
I have to give him credit for making an effort to be a father, most of these guys wouldn't do that.
I don't know the guy so I don't want to bash him, but if he comes from a wealthy family, and he has a good job, then he is only there because he as the resources to be able to do such things. Also, he could be maintaining this girl to keep her quiet. I mean, do the other women know he has a baby? Do his parents know he has a baby with this woman?
As a matter of fact...lol You don't need to answer my questions, it's just something to think about.
You also have a point there, yes he and his family are all pretty wealthy but I don't like to judge people based on their bank accounts.
Your questions can be answered, only his parents, his brother and a couple of good friends know about the baby. His parents also go to visit the baby sometimes. I suppose he doesn't tell the other women he plays with about his child, women start making questions and that would ruin the whole thing.
No, she doesn't badmouth him when he's around. Everything she has said about him was to me and in private.
It's awkward though, when he goes to see him for obvious reasons. She just remembers what happened because, this is my personal opinion, she still loves him very much, despite the cheating. True feelings don't go away that fast.
I get the impression she needs to vent. I wouldn't judge her for being hurt and angry about how she was treated. Your role as a friend is to hear her out. I don't really understand your point. Do you want to judge her for expressing her fears? Do you try to support her in this difficult situation? Are you just a voyeur on her trainwreck?
I get the impression she needs to vent. I wouldn't judge her for being hurt and angry about how she was treated. Your role as a friend is to hear her out. I don't really understand your point. Do you want to judge her for expressing her fears? Do you try to support her in this difficult situation? Are you just a voyeur on her trainwreck?
Off course I support her. I absolutely love babies and help her out with her son. I've always been there for her since the beginning of this situation and I try to be the voice of reason. I understand her side but I always encourage her to let him see the kid, unless she is suspicious he's a sexual abuser or something like that, which is really not the case.
There are too many angry, bitter women not letting the fathers be with their children and, even though many of these women think dads are disposable, I believe a male presence is very important in a child's like, even if he is a player.
Most players are no different than drug addicts or alcoholics, looking to fill a void, or a problem from their past. Going from relationship to relationship using whatever it takes to fulfill themselves. Most like I said. The rest just think they are gods gift to women for some reason. Not good role models or someone you can trust. Some will settle down, but like the old saying, a leopard never changes its spots. They will always have a wandering eye.
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