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There is hope. However, that hope involves being open and honest with yourself and then taking the actions needed to create change.
Well that's exactly the problem for some of us. We are always told that by improving yourself you should become more attractive, and of course it works to an extent. But when you have improved most things about you and women still don't think of you "that way", you are left wondering: "what else can I do?""will it be enough at some point?"
Also, we know attraction is not about effort: Many of the guys who are constantly dating don't do a thing to improve as a person and still get away with behaviors that women would not tolerate in other men...
Well that's exactly the problem for some of us. We are always told that by improving yourself you should become more attractive, and of course it works to an extent. But when you have improved most things about you and women still don't think of you "that way", you are left wondering: "what else can I do?""will it be enough at some point?"
Also, we know attraction is not about effort: Many of the guys who are constantly dating don't do a thing to improve as a person and still get away with behaviors that women would not tolerate in other men...
It's not all about improving oneself. Yes, that is a large factor, but you have to learn how to effectively communicate with people. You can buy the most beautiful and fastest car around, but if you don't know how to drive it, then what's the use?
Attraction is about effort. Sometimes you have to work at making the attraction grow. That goes back to learning how to communicate with women because shocker - men and women are different. I bet those guys get away with crappy behavior because they know how to interact with women. It's like being so captivated by a song with an alluring beat that we don't even pay attention to the lyrics.
Nix the negativity too. Stop whining about other guys. You aren't "other guys." You're yourself.
Money can make even the ugliest guys look more attractive in the eyes of gold digging *******.
Drive to the clubs in a lamborghini, and all of a sudden you will be getting more female attention than a Chip N' Dale dancer on ladies night.
Ouch, that one hit below the belt! We all know a little dough doesn't hurt your chances. Any woman who says otherwise is being untruthful. Not all women are like that but there is a great number of them who are. Money cannot buy happiness and eventually the gold digger moves on. When it all comes down to it. Love can't be bought at any price as it is something that has to be earned. The guys who are loaded rub their trophy GF or wife in all of are faces. Save it jacka**, you aren't fooling anyone!!!LMAO............
Well that's exactly the problem for some of us. We are always told that by improving yourself you should become more attractive, and of course it works to an extent. But when you have improved most things about you and women still don't think of you "that way", you are left wondering: "what else can I do?""will it be enough at some point?"
Also, we know attraction is not about effort: Many of the guys who are constantly dating don't do a thing to improve as a person and still get away with behaviors that women would not tolerate in other men...
Do you talk to women? I mean just to get to know them, not to hit on them?
It's not all about improving oneself. Yes, that is a large factor, but you have to learn how to effectively communicate with people. (...) That goes back to learning how to communicate with women because shocker - men and women are different. I bet those guys get away with crappy behavior because they know how to interact with women.
You may be onto something here mango tango. I think some men can be very good at communicating with women. But I get the feeling this can be very hard to learn. Most people see it the same way as trying to learn how to be funny: Either you were always funny or you never will (curious, not long ago we had a thread about that too).
So, any ideas on this? This could be where many men are failing, but it's not like this is just a quick fix...
I think, women are attracted to a man's aura. If he presents a positive self image then your attractiveness thrives. Of course, looks are important but coupled with aura, your unstoppable.
I agree with Rugged...money can't buy happiness....there is no price that can buy a faithfull man with a good heart....to find this is priceless...if you find this in a man....faithfull, honorable, believes in God and a good heart then you will be happy your whole life no matter what the income...trust me I know..!!
You may be onto something here mango tango. I think some men can be very good at communicating with women. But I get the feeling this can be very hard to learn. Most people see it the same way as trying to learn how to be funny: Either you were always funny or you never will (curious, not long ago we had a thread about that too).
So, any ideas on this? This could be where many men are failing, but it's not like this is just a quick fix...
No, it is not a quick fix. It requires effort, a strong will, and time. You will have to learn and we learn by reading, observing, and experimenting. You will have to change. . . that's where many people fail. Change isn't easy, but you can make it happen. I can PM you the names of some books if you would like and they will be a good primer, although what you really need to do is start observing! This means paying attention to peoples' reactions, body language, facial expressions, words, etc. In other words, put yourself out of your mind and focus on the other person.
Thanks for the offer, you can PM me any time you like
Still, I did already try learning from books and I'm not sure this is useful to learn something more than the crude basics: It's like trying to learn dancing reading books. I mean, I already have close friends, some of them female, and have no problem relating to them so I think I'm no social inept (which is where most books start anyway).
So then the way to learn should be, as you said, observing and experimenting. I know a couple of guys that know this stuff, and I have tried imitating them but I didn't achieve anything so far. There are 2 problems: Most of the time they can't even explain how they do it. An also, what fits their appearance and personality will often not fit mine. So I have to admit I am a bit lost here.
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I can PM you the names of some books if you would like and they will be a good primer, although what you really need to do is start observing! This means paying attention to peoples' reactions, body language, facial expressions, words, etc. In other words, put yourself out of your mind and focus on the other person.
