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Guys are guys. No matter how hot you are, we are going to look at porns, strippers, other women - yes, no matter how ugly or disgusting they may seem to you.
This is just what it is. I know you don't like it but hey, it's life. You don't have to like it. Just take it or leave it. Gooooooood luck on finding a guy who doesn't all these.
1. It's our nature because we are not eunuch!
2. There's nothing wrong with this. We are just being guys and doing what guys do. This is normal; the opposite of this is abnormal.
3. We still think you are hot; we still care about you; we still consider you are a fantastic girlfriend/wife/mom of our children.
4. Looking at porn etc has no reflection on you, but if you really want to make an argument, it's like looking at a new cloth or a nice jewelry. We don't make a big fuss about that, do we?
So girls, please accept the way we are, please put away your insecurity and please let us be guys. If you don't, we would have to be sneaky and hide from you and lie to you. Then things become really ugly.
You know, it is even fun to join us from time to time. We would greatly appreciate your inputs, your show of self-confidence and your open mind.
Pretty broad statements to speak for all the men in the world.
I'm with you on most of these issues but would never say all men are or that every woman MUST accept it. If a woman has problems with any of the above she just needs to make sure her man is in agreement before they make a life long commitment.
These are many of the issues you should know where your partner stands before you decide you want to make it a forever thing. These are not things to discuss after you've moved in together.
As long as you don't mind your lady looking at other men, who cares? Just don't give anyone any double standards.
I will say that I know quite a few men who don't go to strip clubs, especially once they get into their 30s. As one guy friend said, "The drinks are watered down and it's just a lot of boobs you can't touch." They tend to grow out of the fascination, especially once they are getting some for real at home.
And please don't compare the women who are entertaining you to inanimate objects like clothing or jewelry. Whether men want to admit it or not, the woman you are watching is someone's daughter, sister, perhaps even mother. Could be your little girl up there some day, no matter how great a parent you think you are.
As long as you don't mind your lady looking at other men, who cares? Just don't give anyone any double standards.
I will say that I know quite a few men who don't go to strip clubs, especially once they get into their 30s. As one guy friend said, "The drinks are watered down and it's just a lot of boobs you can't touch." They tend to grow out of the fascination, especially once they are getting some for real at home.
And please don't compare the women who are entertaining you to inanimate objects like clothing or jewelry. Whether men want to admit it or not, the woman you are watching is someone's daughter, sister, perhaps even mother. Could be your little girl up there some day, no matter how great a parent you think you are.
Very true. Men should stick to their imagination at home.
I will say that I know quite a few men who don't go to strip clubs, especially once they get into their 30s. As one guy friend said, "The drinks are watered down and it's just a lot of boobs you can't touch." They tend to grow out of the fascination, especially once they are getting some for real at home.
I've long thought that. I've been to strip clubs probably 3 or 4 time my whole life. Never understood the big appeal of it. It ain't like you're gonna go home with any of the ladies swinging off of the poles. Nor would I really care to anyway.
I've long thought that. I've been to strip clubs probably 3 or 4 time my whole life. Never understood the big appeal of it. It ain't like you're gonna go home with any of the ladies swinging off of the poles. Nor would I really care to anyway.
You made a couple of good points about how us men are simply hardwired to look at other scantily-clad, hot women. But I can tell that you're pretty young by your comment that most women might find strippers or porn "ugly or disgusting." The hard truth, my friend, is that women cruise porn sites on the Net as often as men; A recent anonymous computer tracking survey using "cookies" discovered this fact in a 2009 sampling of over 23,000 PC's owned by women. And many women are secretly envious of strippers, although they are loathe to admit this fact. Ask any stripper how often they're hit on by women. (During my struggling music days, and also while in college, I bartended and also worked as a bouncer--or as I liked to call it, a "social director"--in three different gentlemen's clubs.) So this I know from both having seen it, and also talking with our dancers. Women are as horny as we are, they're just less forthcoming about it do to the fact they place a higher priority on upholding societal norms and decorum.
Last edited by DrummerBoy; 03-15-2010 at 09:55 PM..
When I was in my 20s (and not too secure about the whole strip-club thing, myself), strippers were in a sorry state. A lot of them were coke freaks. I could see the connection. Coke provides artificial courage without the clumsiness of booze. Nasty cycle for a lot of them.
Now they're a little more mainstream, and the high-earning ones in the expensive big-name clubs are pretty dang athletic, with backgrounds in ballet and other forms of dance. Drugs are still rampant, but it's no longer a gimme that a stripper does drugs.
BUT, I'm convinced that most of the porn actresses are still in a sorry state. Jennie Ketcham (formerly known as Penny Flame), who is on the current season of Sober House, went to rehab for sex addiction. She's also recovering from drug and alcohol addiction. Well, lemme tellya, if hearing her story and reading [URL="http://becomingjennie.wordpress.com/"]her blog[/URL] don't light up the fragile humanity in the porn industry for you, and show you just what happens to the people in the industry, nothing will. And she's one of the famous ones. I can't imagine what happens to the ones who don't make it big.
So really, when I see porn movies, particularly those produced by and for heterosexual men, I can't detach from that. It's just too sad.
Women are as horny as we are, they're just less forthcoming about it do to the fact they place a higher priority on upholding societal norms and decorum.
That's the reason you take them on weekend getaways to other cities where they know no one but other accepting adults and there are no kids or housework that must be done.
Get many women into an environment where that can "Party like porn stars" and they will as long as no one is there to bring up those societal norms and they know that their SO is accepting.
Men usually just need to let their women know that at times it's OK to be a Bad Girl, the women usually can take it from there.
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