Why is it that people in relationships feel they can understand what it's like to be single? (rant) (movies, marriages)
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One thing that's different is that more guys used to be willing to get to know a woman before having sex or at least they were willing to wait until she got to know him better. Heck, they expected to wait. Now? If you haven't given it up by the third date, there will not be a fourth and he won't call to say there won't be one.
Guys took for granted that they were paying for the first date. Now? If you expect them to pay for the first date, you're a gold digger.
Guys used to understand that a woman wanted to know where they stood so he was okay calling her his girlfriend. Now? They expect to 'date' for years and still refer the person their dating as "the woman I'm seeing"
It's very different.
How can it be any different? Aren't the same guys holding to the same standards they held 5 to 10 years ago? I know I haven't changed my expectations any in that time frame. The same jerks and players back then are the same today, that's all.
Please don't get me wrong. I love reading everyone's prespective. It just people acting single people want to be single and they can not be single if they didn't want to be that makes me bang my head on the keyboard.
I understand. It's like when childless people tell parents how to raise their kids. I don't think I ever knew so much about parenting as before I had them.
If I've sounded sanctimonious about dating, I'm sorry. Truthfully, if something happened to my husband, I don't know if I could go back out there. These posts are terrifying.
Why would you want advice from a bunch of people who can't figure it out either?
The dating game hasn't changed all that much in 5 - 10 years. What has changed is people's attitudes, particularly the 20-something crowd, which I'm guessing is not really your target demographic anyway. Internet dating may have altered the methods in which we initiate contact and maintain communication. But men have been trying to get under girls skirts on first dates since the horse and buggie days. The more things change the more they stay the same.
If you want to know how to get a job, you don't ask a bum, if you want advice on parenting you don't ask people without kids. You can gain a lot of wisdom listening to people who have found the winning formula for themselves. Listen to the elderly couples who have been married for decades. While I'm sure the rituals of dating have changed since they were courting, the basic principles of a healthy relationship haven't changed. They've learned through compromise, trial and error, and life's challenges how to build a foundation that will make it work. A successful long term relationship doesn't happen by accident, it takes work. The work involved is the part you want to listen to. Often you see a happy couple and you might think they just got lucky to have found one another. Sometimes true, but often, they had to overcome some hardships and challenges too.
I think a lot of people who are frustrated and single only see the sausage, but they don't see how it's made.
Like everyone I can only speak from my experience. And that is my experience and that of people who are in my same position. Maybe in your experience, 5 -10 years ago men thought you were a gold digger if you expected them to pay for the first date, but I never heard of that until recently. The same thing with sex. The men I dated 5 - 10 years ago had no problem dating months before having sex, today no sex by the third date, no fourth. Heck in alot of cases no sex on the first date means no second date.
To tell you the truth, I probably wasn't going to hear about any of this if I hadn't started reading about it and if it weren't for this forum. There is such a thing as too much (unnecessary) info.
Yes but the longer you are away from the dating scene the harder it is to relate to what others are going through. And dating now is a lot different than 5 - 10 years ago.
I have to agree...I am married (almost 17 years), but am totally aware that dating is completely different than it was when my husband and I were dating...it's a different world out there.
Like everyone I can only speak from my experience. And that is my experience and that of people who are in my same position. Maybe in your experience, 5 -10 years ago men thought you were a gold digger if you expected them to pay for the first date, but I never heard of that until recently. The same thing with sex. The men I dated 5 - 10 years ago had no problem dating months before having sex, today no sex by the third date, no fourth. Heck in alot of cases no sex on the first date means no second date.
But your comment here is a perfect example of what I'm talking about.
I don't know what angels you were dating 5-10 years ago, but I guarantee you that it was the same 5-10 years ago. There are some good guys now who are willing to wait and there are some bad guys who are not willing and it was exactly the same 5-10 years ago. Perhaps you need to see the type of men you dated earlier in your dating career I suppose to now. Maybe your standards changed?
Look, I don't want to argue with you, but I honestly do not see your point, because it's the same ****, different decade, just like Seeniorita said.
If you prefer to listen to the advice of people who are in the same boat as you, just because you think that they understand you better, so be it.
I actually agree with BOTH of you ladies. Especially with the sex part, back in my ma's generation people went roller skating and went out to DO THINGS other then sex! By the time when I was young, (in the mid 90's) my friends were having sex at 14-15 and participating orgy's in High school!! Also CESpeed is right, all the guys I know try to "hit it" on the first night. And many do just by getting the girls drunk; I have seen it.
I would also say the collage life is also a factor.... Today's collage atmosphere has changed so much and it's effecting the youth... It's now a get drunk, party hard, random sex, hookup culture.
We are not comparing Morph, the dating times between your mama's generation and the 90s. We are making a comparison between this decade and last one.
I understand. It's like when childless people tell parents how to raise their kids. I don't think I ever knew so much about parenting as before I had them.
Wrong comparison. Married people were once single before therefore qualified to offer their opinions while childless people have absolutely no experience with children.
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