Why single women & men won't date single parents (cancer, shopping, numbers)
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Lord knows I would not even WANT to be retired at 45. It is difficult to understand your point here.
Did I say anything about retirement at 45?
I'm talking 55+ , and let's say if you have a kid at 45, but he/she is say, 10 and you're 55....while the other 55 year olds have kids obviously grown, also married, and with kids. I see no desire to be an elderly parent.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
Did I say anything about retirement at 45?
I'm talking 55+ , and let's say if you have a kid at 45, but he/she is say, 10 and you're 55....while the other 55 year olds have kids obviously grown, also married, and with kids. I see no desire to be an elderly parent.
55 is elderly?
No one said you have to be 55 with a 10 year old. Let people make their own decisions and respect them for them. It's not hard to fathom.
I'm not really the biggest fan of kids anyways, honestly, other than mine. I mean, I could see someone calling me a hypocrite for expecting another person to be willing to date ME when I am a single Mom, when I wasn't willing to date a parent myself.
I have a female friend like this. She's 46, has a 3 year old and an 8 year old. She had NO desire to date a single dad...she finds the idea of combined families unappealing. As...she has her own kids to concern herself with, not someone else's.
For her, he either has to be a childless 40-something, or a 40-something with grown children.
Yeah, this reminds me. I overheard a conversation about how someone's mom had told her that she is tired of hangin' around old people. The daughter reminded her that, "Um, you are the same ages as them" lol
As I've gotten older, my own idea of what is "old" keeps shifting upwards. I've always liked older partners, but my 60 year old fiance is a new record for me...but he's aging very gracefully. People guess him about 10 years younger, most of the time. He's never had certain habits that age a person, like smoking, drugs, or heavy drinking. And he was that sort who had oily skin with acne in his youth, which has meant that in older age, his skin isn't drying and wrinkling as much. Some payoff, I guess, for dealing with that!
There were honestly pros and cons to having my kids young. I was 20 when the first was born, 22 when the second was. The pros, I'd say...we pushed through the "struggle years" of early adulthood when they were too young to really remember. Having them forced me to grow up hard and fast, and it made me probably a more competent adult a lot faster than I might have otherwise become. And I am happy to only be 40, with plenty of opportunity to live a new chapter of life, with both of my sons now entering adulthood.
The cons... I was not mature or wise enough to make a good partner choice. That stands out as the closest thing to a regret I have in my life. I might not regret my boys, I love them, or even necessarily how young I was when they were born perhaps...I sure wish they had a better Dad, though. And the only reason they've got what they've got in him, is that I was too young and stupid to choose better at the time. And maybe if I'd been guided better to get into college and build a more prosperous future for myself right out of high school, I could have started my family on better foundations. As it was, I went to college in my mid-20's once I grew up enough to figure it out on my own.
But you know it's that old Zen concept...I mean, maybe things could be better, maybe worse? I don't know.
Funny though. My Mom likes younger men. She gives me endless hell for my taste in partners, and has referred to my fiance as "an old fart." She's the same age, though.
Well, they can kiss their cozy retirement life good bye
Do your math; 35 + 18 = 53. Nowhere near retirement age. Add 4 more years to cover the college years and associated expenses: 57. Nearly 10 years away from the typical retirement age, or about 5 years away from early retirement (figured by SS eligibility). 40 + 18 =58. Oooh, really threatening retirement, there!
No, what having kids later in life means, is that parents are often in a stronger position to provide for those kids, as the parents are closer to their peak earning years when the kids arrive. They're also more mature.
I'm starting to wonder if you actually think through your responses on C-D, before you post thoughts off the top of your head.
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