Why are men selfish? (date, wife, girlfriend, married)

[dreamofmonterey]

This is an honest question.

Most women seem to raise kids work 50 hours and still have time to socialize, have friends and volunteer. Women usually take other peoples feelings into consideration... I cant really think of many men who do this.

thoughts/ideas?


sunny

[Humanoid]

I think its a bit odd to think that men don't take peoples feelings into considerations, they certainly do. But there could be two different issues here
1.) Do man and woman detect "feelings" in the same way. If men simply don't detect as much as women then saying they "don't taking feelings into consideration" is like saying a blind person doesn't take color into consideration.
2.) They detect matters in a similar matter, but women and men differ what they do with the information.

I'm not sure there is a really much of a difference. Have any concrete examples in mind?

[Miami Vice]

I work atleast 48 hours on a slow week. I also pick up the kids from school (wife drops them off). I also cut the grass, maintain the cars, clean the pool, take out the trash, wash the cars, do the laundry (wife folds and puts it away). I do some cleaning (wife does most). I don't do dishes though.

My wife is incredible though. She drops the kids off (which is harder than picking them up) She works, does the bills (she's a CPA), cooks (even though I also cook), does the dishes, helps the kids with homework, cleans, keeps tab on everyone's birthdays and buys the gifts, and does a lot of other misc. things.

We think that it is important to work as a team. It's not fair for one to do all the work while someone else just sits around watching TV or playing video games. We have been married for 11 years and so far so good.

[DeLaSalle]

Originally Posted by Miami Vice

I work atleast 48 hours on a slow week. I also pick up the kids from school (wife drops them off). I also cut the grass, maintain the cars, clean the pool, take out the trash, wash the cars, do the laundry (wife folds and puts it away). I do some cleaning (wife does most). I don't do dishes though.

My wife is incredible though. She drops the kids off (which is harder than picking them up) She works, does the bills (she's a CPA), cooks (even though I also cook), does the dishes, helps the kids with homework, cleans, keeps tab on everyone's birthdays and buys the gifts, and does a lot of other misc. things.

We think that it is important to work as a team. It's not fair for one to do all the work while someone else just sits around watching TV or playing video games. We have been married for 11 years and so far so good.

Women's Lib...
There is "No Free Lunch" for either sex anymore...
I remember when only One person had to work, now everyone in the household has to...So much for equal rights...

[Anigirli]

Maybe its the population ratio that has something to do with it, There are more women than men, so males feel they have the advantage of being very picky. Great thread by the way!

[Synopsis]

Why is anyone selfish? Men certainly don't own the market on selfishness.

In my circle of friends, neighbors, and coworkers it appears that both genders have their fair share of selfish people. If you read a lot of the posts on this very forum you'll find instances where both men and women have been treated very poorly because of a selfish friend or spouse. Speedy from AZ is one fine example; his girlfriend was manipulative and selfish. And Yorkymom has had a selfish, manipulative man in her life. I sympathize with both and wish them well.

SH, perhaps there are current situations in your life that prompted you to make such a post, and if you have been the victim of selfish men maybe you need to look at the type of men you have been associating with. Selfish men are usually very shallow, as are selfish women.

I was involved with a very selfish, manipulative woman for years and the abuse I took from her was simply amazing. She took and took and took but never gave anything back. Her cruelty knew no boundaries when it came to emotional manipulation and in the end her abuse nearly ruined me for life (seriously).

But, did I think that all women, or even a good portion of women were selfish? Not at all. Even after repeatedly getting similar treatment from women over the next several years my opinion didn't change about women in general. It was then that I figured out it was something about the type of women that I was attracted to that was at the root of the problem and I changed that mindset over time.

Over the course of my life I've noticed a lot of women who date the bad boy types one after another, and then when they're continually dumped on they complain as if most men are that way. It isn't true, not even in the least bit. Most men they know are selfish, as were most of the women that I knew (or cared to be associated with) were selfish.

Please don't try to make it look like men have some kind of corner on the selfishness market - it goes both ways and gender has very little to do with it. There are shallow, selfish women and shallow, selfish men everywhere - but the good ones outnumber the bad ones if you'll just look beneath the surface.

[pirate girl]

I've seen selflessness and selfishness in men and women equally. I think the differences in how we relate to people can be best explained in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

What men perceive as showing concern is sometimes not enough for women. It has to do with being a listener versus solving problems.

Typical conversation between man and woman or man and man includes man listening but not adding much.

Typical conversation between women includes speculation into why, how and the reason behind it.

[HDL]

I live in a culdesac with a bunch of dads and many of them are wonderful fathers out there playing with their children and other children in the neighborhood. But I've been where SH has been and when you're going through the break up of a LTR/marriage, it can be difficult to have a fair perspective on the opposite sex .

Great BIG HUGS to all going through a break up!!! Maybe we need to start a thread about folks who thought it was over and gloomy days ahead, only to find the 'love' of their lives just around the corner or 'happiness' as a single again .

JMHO as always,

HDL

Originally Posted by Synopsis

Why is anyone selfish? Men certainly don't own the market on selfishness.
...yada yada yada...
Please don't try to make it look like men have some kind of corner on the selfishness market - it goes both ways and gender has very little to do with it. There are shallow, selfish women and shallow, selfish men everywhere - but the good ones outnumber the bad ones if you'll just look beneath the surface.

[7th generation]

To me selfishness is the glorification of ones self.
To not glorify others a selfishly ambitious person will destroy himself.
I find that selfish people are dishonest to themselves and others.
Can one truly find happiness hurting the one he loves?
And in the process hurt himself?
That is just selfish.

[nomoresnow]

I have to admit...my DH thinks of me first almost all the time.