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I am a 29 year old female that is outgoing, funny, easy to hang out with and get along with, down to earth, low drama, active and attractive, but not high maintenance Most of my friends, not all, tend to be guys for one reason or another. Iam wanting to meet men to date and am running into a few issues.
1)Where? Obviously bars arnt the ticket, 80% of the intrnet stuff never realy works into much, and work just doesnt feel appropriate.
2) My guy friends. When ever hanging out anywhere or doing anything, most men will hardley talk to me because they assume 1 of them is my boyfriend, even when told by both myself and the friend that thats all we are, friends.
3) finaly, after we have tackeld the other hurdles (which has only happend 2-3 times), for one reason or another..... after a bit of hanging out, we end in the friend zone. Im not sure if i am not making myself clear about wanting a steady relationship, if im just too much like 'one of the boys', if im making it to easy to just "hang out" and be friend as opposed to a real relationship, or if im looking at the wrong kind of men.... i just dont get it.
I relate well to guys, we get along great! We have lots of common intrests, there friends and parents love me... so on and so forth.
I have noticed tho, alot of the activitys that i participate in with my gentelman friends such as paintballing, kayaking, climbing, dirty biking, hiking, camping... there girlfrnds don do with us.
Am i possibly hindering a potential relationship due to being too much like "one of the guys"?
Cus seriously! ALL my male friends date women that would NEVER do these activitys with them. They love hanging out! But then go home to ( THESE ARE THERE WORDS! NOT MINE) "crazy" jelouse, pamperd women that they complain about all the time! WTH?!?!?
2) My guy friends. When ever hanging out anywhere or doing anything, most men will hardley talk to me because they assume 1 of them is my boyfriend, even when told by both myself and the friend that thats all we are, friends.
I think you have found the issue with this. And if these guys are involved/married you might be creating a problem for them with their SO's. Everyone will suspect you are sleeping around. If you want to do those kind of activities do it with just one single guy at first. Once you are a couple than you can do the activities with a group.
I am a 29 year old female that is outgoing, funny, easy to hang out with and get along with, down to earth, low drama, active and attractive, but not high maintenance...I have noticed tho, alot of the activitys that i participate in with my gentelman friends such as paintballing, kayaking, climbing, dirty biking, hiking, camping...
Am i possibly hindering a potential relationship due to being too much like "one of the guys"?
I doubt it. You should be yourself and if you enjoy these activites don't hold back out of some worry about "the guys."
My hunch is that you need to expand your circle of friends a bit, but I also would not be surprised if one of the (single) guys you spend time with has thought of you romantically but has not wanted to do anything out of shyness/fear of harming a friendship. Also, never underestimate the immaturity of some men (some of them young and some of them not-so-young)
make it any clearer, and I promise you'll end up in the friend zone every time
On this point I will strongly disagree. There is nothing at all wrong with making clear one's desire to be in a relationship. Some may say this is "desperation" and that's just nonsense. Wanting something is NOT the same as being desperate for it. No need to play a silly, immature game of "I-want-some-thing-but-I'm-going-to-deny-that-I-do."
I was never active in those types of activities but other than that - you sound like me when I was young.
I suggest these "guys" are your friends. Nothing wrong with that! However, if you are looking for a husband (or major LTR) "friends" are not the place to look. I suggest you try on line dating or a high priced, old fashioned matchmaker (if there is one in your area). Time is on your side, you are only 29 but another 10 years will pass before you know it! Looking for a serious partner is serious business. In this world I've found that if you let "love find you" - heaven knows who and what you will get!
The one good and positive thing about filling out an on line profile is that it forces you to outline who you are and what you are looking for. Also, on line dating (or a matchmaker) will intro you to men you may not have considered or met otherwise.
To be clear, even dating can be "work". Just like landing the perfect job it takes effort and time. If you go on line, meet as many people as you can. Make the initial meeting coffee at a local coffee shop - just 30 min to 1 hr. Be honest and be objective. Most importantly, get what you want!
Best wishes.
Nicky, hanging out with a group of guys probably does stop some guys from approaching you. But if none of your guy friends have made a move on you then there's something else going on...and I doubt it's a matter of attractiveness. A cool, fun, nice girl always trumps looks. So based one what you've said I'm going to venture a guess that you are correct, you're making it too easy to just be friends.
I don't see any point in doing online dating or matchmaking. You already have a pool of guys to choose from and you're already friends with them, know them, and trust them to some degree. Why not see if you can get something going with one of the single ones in your group instead of hitting up strangers?
All you have to do is pick one single guy that you're interested in and start flirting with him. Make it clear through your body language and touching that you want to be more than friends, don't just state: "I want a relationship" and expect guys to respond.
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