An Engineer died and went to see St. Peter who told him that he was sorry but could not let the engineer into heaven.
At first the conditions bothered the engineer but after a while he started to make improvements. He added an escalator, running water, and after a couple of months even air conditioning.
Of course eventually god heard about the changes down below. God phoned up the devil and explained that a mistake had been made and that the engineer would have to be moved up to heaven.
The devil said no, because he liked the changes too. God told the devil "This is your last chance. Send that engineer up here or I'll sue you!"
The devil laughed and said,...
"Ha, where are you going to find a lawyer?"
As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?
The nurse answered, "There's a big fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."
Why does California have so many lawyers and New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey got first choice!
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If You Want To Get To Heaven...
