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Mormonism: Before God became God, he went through the same **** we are going through now. After we become Gods, we'll put our kids through the same ****.
A young woman teacher with explains to her class of children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too.
Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A Jewish girl named Sara has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an atheist."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm Jewish."
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Sara why she is Jewish.
"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving God. My Mom is Jewish, and my Dad is Jewish, so I am Jewish."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Sara, "I'd be an atheist."
Jesus and Moses get together for a little reunion. Moses says: "I haven't parted a sea in a long time". So he raises his hands, and a sea parts. He looks at Jesus and grins:
"Damn; that was fun."
So Jesus looks at Moses and says "Well, I haven't walked across water in a long time, and that was fun, too." He takes a step out on the lake, gets out about 10 feet and sinks, so he swims back in.
"What the hell went went wrong there? I'll try again, a bit faster this time." This time he gets out about 20 feet, and he sinks, so he swims back in. "I must be out of practice, I'll nail it next time." He sets out at a run and gets out about 30 feet and sinks, so he swims back in. He looks right at Moses and says:
"I know why I can't do it. The last time I tried it I didn't have those darn holes in my feet."
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