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Beyond the OP's issues, your comment that banks and creditors are "evil" and "harvesting" people? C'mon. Believe it or not, there are more than a few of us out there who haven't been "harvested" by the "evil" one's and simply live within our means throughout our lives. It's one's personal responsibility to use credit wisely, not blame others for our own actions when we become overextended for any reason, or for that matter, over abuse anything in life. Blaming others/institutions for our own actions or circumstances in life is irresponsible to say the least. It's like blaming a casino for someone who loses their retirement savings to the slot machines.
Banks and creditors are not evil; they are very much needed as sources of capital for businesses, people wanting to buy a house or car, etc. But she is in a desperate situation and needs to look out for herself. Nobody else is going to. Try to put yourself in her shoes.
Thank you for your sharing of your experience (sorry you had to go through all that misery). It sounds ironic, but I'm glad to hear other peoples' experiences because then I don't feel so bad about myself.
Thank you for your kind words about my love-bug Mimsy. I've had pets in the past but for some reason this one really hit me hard. She was my little buddy. We spent a lot of time keeping each other company. It sounds awful maybe, but if she wanted what was on my plate, she could have some of it.
I've felt pretty blocked in for the past several years but a door to freedom recently cracked open for me... nothing tangible, just my mind allowed it. Had daughter/son problems. Other family problems. Remaining sister dying from cancer. Lack of money. Using credit card much too often to appease the pain of loneliness. Food of course. My NC visits.
I think your suggestion of not replacing Mimsy right away is a good one. For one thing, I just can't do it emotionally. Secondly, if I want to move (I do!!) I won't have to get a cat sitter that I have to pay. I can take off whenever the mood strikes.
If I can see my way to more money, I can re-think my moving plan. I needed to stay very conservative in where and how much. If I can loosen it up a bit, my choices could get better.
I think you would be amazed at how many people file bankruptcy these days. I understand the 'feeling bad' about yourself. I went through it for a long time. I had always had pristine credit and falling so 'low' was a real bummer for me. Right now I know you feel caught 'between a rock and a hard place' but, this too shall pass. Maybe not fast but eventually. I keep finding myself wishing you lived closer!
My dad used to let his cats actually sit at the table. lol And yes, he fed them off of his plate. He loved his cats and dogs a lot.
With pets, I have come to prefer a fairly rapid descent. I had an experience with renal failure in an older cat where the vet taught me how to give subcutaneous fluids. It was like magic. Every time he started to crash I could hang a bag and bring him back. He would perk back up, eat, get around fine including hopping up onto the couch, snuggling and purring. It gave me a god complex. Until it started being less effective and he ate less, started getting hollow eyes, staggering and needing help to get on the couch. Then I started feeling more like Dr Frankenstein. It became increasingly obvious I was doing it for me, not him. Taking him in and turning him over to the vet was really hard but it was the best choice.
I am very sorry for your loss, but it sounds like the suffering wasn't so prolonged and most of your memories will be of the good days. I hope so.
I had a cat that developed diabetes and had kidney failure. It cost a BUNCH to save him and get the treatment he needed. I managed to keep him alive for another year with special food and insulin shots twice a day. When the end came it was fairly fast. Never had to resort to the 'bags' though.
BTDT, too, AZDB. My dear Gomez lived for another three years on the needle. It was quite the education for the vat and for me. After he passed I donated his supplies to a feral rescue that had just gotten their first diabetic. I sent them all the info I had. He made it
I think you would be amazed at how many people file bankruptcy these days. I understand the 'feeling bad' about yourself. I went through it for a long time. I had always had pristine credit and falling so 'low' was a real bummer for me. Right now I know you feel caught 'between a rock and a hard place' but, this too shall pass. Maybe not fast but eventually. I keep finding myself wishing you lived closer!
My dad used to let his cats actually sit at the table. lol And yes, he fed them off of his plate. He loved his cats and dogs a lot.
I have wished the same thing, AZDesertBrat. Wishing a few of us lived closer. Have a monthly coffee/lunch meeting to really enjoy each others company. We sure are scattered, aren't we? Thank God for computers and being able to "chat" this way...... better than nothing.
There was a movie a while back... Same Time Next Year. It was about a man and woman who met once a year for a tryst. It showed all the phases of their lives as the years went by. But wouldn't it be nice if somehow we could pick a central location and pick a weekend that everyone could make it and meet!
I think back to my mother who was basically a good person. Circumstances could make her ugly, but I think that can happen to any of us. I wish she could have had something like this, a way to chat with others and get ideas and suggestions that would help her out of her lousy situation.
As others have said, more specifics needed, but the cat is not the problem. Consult a free counselor who specializes in your situation. Get zen, too many people have too much "stuff", you only need almost nothing to live, so sell stuff on craigslist and ebay, get rid of it. Do you need a car with all the costs that go with it, could you dump it, no more car insurance; bus, walk, bicycle, taxis instead. Downsize your house, apt, or camp in national forests for free, or barter free rent for being an apt manager. Eat cheaper. Don't buy into consumerism. Donate blood/plasma every week for extra cash, mow lawns, whatever it takes. We don't know the specific$ except for a cat, so hard to counsel on specific solution, sorry. If you have to file for bankruptcy do it-- so you won't be able to buy a house or car for some time, so what, google owning a house versus renting a house, better to rent usually anyhow, or live out of a cheap tiny house on wheels (google that) or you buy a $20,000 house somewhere a bit rural for $150/m mortgage, etc. Bicycle, rent apt/house, so who cares then if you have to file bankruptcy you won't need a mortgage or car loan, or you buy a car for a few hundred cast, or get a moped or motorized kit for a cheap used bike.
As others have said, more specifics needed, but the cat is not the problem. Consult a free counselor who specializes in your situation. Get zen, too many people have too much "stuff", you only need almost nothing to live, so sell stuff on craigslist and ebay, get rid of it. Do you need a car with all the costs that go with it, could you dump it, no more car insurance; bus, walk, bicycle, taxis instead. Downsize your house, apt, or camp in national forests for free, or barter free rent for being an apt manager. Eat cheaper. Don't buy into consumerism. Donate blood/plasma every week for extra cash, mow lawns, whatever it takes. We don't know the specific$ except for a cat, so hard to counsel on specific solution, sorry. If you have to file for bankruptcy do it-- so you won't be able to buy a house or car for some time, so what, google owning a house versus renting a house, better to rent usually anyhow, or live out of a cheap tiny house on wheels (google that) or you buy a $20,000 house somewhere a bit rural for $150/m mortgage, etc. Bicycle, rent apt/house, so who cares then if you have to file bankruptcy you won't need a mortgage or car loan, or you buy a car for a few hundred cast, or get a moped or motorized kit for a cheap used bike.
Keep in mind I am not a "kid". I'm 73 with some health issues. Had an eye doc appt today to check glaucoma and may need another (have had a few already) surgery for one of my eyes. Had a knee replacement.... it was a success but it's not perfect.
My car is a 2009 Corolla, paid for. Not going to part with it. Yes, it is expensive but there are a lot of reasons I need to keep it.
I eat pretty lean (price wise), but it's still expensive. I live in limited-income one bedroom apt.
Your solutions are just not do-able (for me) and you may judge me very harshly for that. But I am me and I have to be comfortable with me.
I bet I'm not the only one who is sick of reading posts telling her to get another job when she is 73 and has health problems. Or to sell her stuff when she has already gotten rid of almost everything. Or to camp in the forest when she already lives in a low income apartment. Also, there aren't many states that pay people to donate blood.
Anyway, she has to keep coming back to these people and explaining over and over and over, the same things.
I wish people would read the thread if they want to help. A lot of helpful information has been given but the same useless stuff keeps coming up from people who haven't taken a few minutes to just read.
In all fairness to those offering suggestions, the only three choices presented are (1) to pay off the debt by either cutting back expenses or getting a PT job (many with health problems do that, even it it's house or pet sitting) or both, (2) consolidating debt with a counselor, or (3) declaring bankruptcy. It's that simple. The OP does not want to do #3, and apparently cannot do the second part of #1, so the final choice is between cutting back expenses in all categories or getting debt consolidation. (I'm not saying live in a tent, lol.) In cutting back expenses, things that we want but do not absolutely need may have to go. Many of us have had to make those choices.
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C'mon. Believe it or not, there are more than a few of us out there who haven't been "harvested" by the "evil" one's and simply live within our means throughout our lives. It's one's personal responsibility to use credit wisely, not blame others for our own actions when we become overextended for any reason, or for that matter, over abuse anything in life. Blaming others/institutions for our own actions or circumstances in life is irresponsible to say the least. It's like blaming a casino for someone who loses their retirement savings to the slot machines.
