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Up until recently I was taking care of my wife and had been for about three years. It included medication management, wound care, bathing assistance and much, much more. I still do a lot of the cooking and cleaning, take care of the finances, do the driving and shopping, make sure she gets to her medical appointments, etc. It's been hard work but doable and I'm not in tip-top shape and health myself anymore. However, it is going to get easier as she's leaving me in September so I'll only have myself to worry about.
Up until recently I was taking care of my wife and had been for about three years. It included medication management, wound care, bathing assistance and much, much more. I still do a lot of the cooking and cleaning, take care of the finances, do the driving and shopping, make sure she gets to her medical appointments, etc. It's been hard work but doable and I'm not in tip-top shape and health myself anymore. However, it is going to get easier as she's leaving me in September so I'll only have myself to worry about.
However, it is going to get easier as she's leaving me in September so I'll only have myself to worry about.
Say what? I have no idea what you're going through but my heart goes out to you and her. I could say more but it's best I shut up. Sending love and good vibrations to you both. In the terminology of my spiritual belief, all is well with your souls.
p.s. Tell her there are people who have never met you or her but still care.
More women get Alzheimer and dementia than men. Perhaps from caring for men all their lives?
Maybe it is because you ladies overthink everything
But on a more serious note, if I have to look after my wife in old age, I wont mind. So many great memories just 13 years in, so I wouldn't have it any other way.
We have an old retired couple in the neighbouring house next to us. They are in their 80s and both have dementia, but they keep each other going and are so lovely together (see them slowly ambling through the local parks). Watched them have a cigarette and a coffee by their garden table yesterday, was very moving to watch.
I had to take care of my wife for many years until she passed, and that wasn't easy, and nearly bankrupted me (it did leave me homeless) and there are still some lingering health/psychological issue I have to deal with. Now, it's my parents. They just moved in with me because they can't afford to live on their own. My dad has to take care of my mom. She falls a lot, and he's nowhere near strong enough to lift her up without me or my brother's assistance. He's hard of hearing now, and has a hard time both hearing her when she's calling out to him for help, and when she's not talking directly to his face. Then she gets mad and yells at him because she thinks he's ignoring her.
He can't leave the house for any length of time, so I know he's bored out of his mind. It was the same way for me, and I thought I would go insane from it.
Good to see you posting, superk. Have thought about you many times and wondered how things worked out.
I still have visions of myself being in your spot, but at a much different stage of life. I just never could fathom your being young and dealing with the horrific situation you found yourself in with your wife's illness and continual health decline.
It really shouldn't be this hard and I am sorry you are still in the position of having to support others, although I hope it is not as draining with your parents.
Hearing aids are very expensive but they truly did change my husband's interaction with folks. Even the inexpensive amplifier type hearing aids can be helpful.
People have no idea how hard it can be for folks who are caretaking and homebound b/c of someone else's needs 24/7.
Up until recently I was taking care of my wife and had been for about three years. It included medication management, wound care, bathing assistance and much, much more. I still do a lot of the cooking and cleaning, take care of the finances, do the driving and shopping, make sure she gets to her medical appointments, etc. It's been hard work but doable and I'm not in tip-top shape and health myself anymore. However, it is going to get easier as she's leaving me in September so I'll only have myself to worry about.
Caretaking can suck years from your lifespan.
I hope whatever works out will bring you a real sense of peace and resolution.
It's without question that I thought I'd be the one to be "taken care of" when the brain cells go bye-bye. However, of the many married couples I know who've retired.... more husbands are takin' care of their wives.... and a few wives of their wives, have passed away. I'm not properly prepared.
What should I expect?
Hate to give you some gloom and doom but one of my friend's fathers took care of his wife for about 7 years of Alzheimers. She died during January 2015. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer less than 2 months later, and died about 3 weeks ago.
I had something similar happen in my family. My great aunt (by marriage) took care of my great uncle (blood) for about a year. Right after he died, she was diagnosed with liver cancer (primary, which is rare in whites) and she died a few months later.
I hypothesize that the caregivers' body suppresses disease while they're engaged in care-giving and when the cared for person dies, the disease erupts with a vengeance.
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