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A friend of 30 years was talking (we're 56) -- I have no idea what she makes, but I presume it's good money from the conversations we've had over the decades. I do know she has a 401K, (no pension), and both she and her husband have inherited money as well (how much I don't know, never asked).
So anyway we (and another friend) were talking about how much we all want to retire, She she said hoped to retire, I can't even remember by what age she said…but she said her financial planner said she (and her husband) should have a million dollars. I did ask, and apparently some posters here may think I was rude for doing so "Oh will you have a million dollars?", she said yes. I said "wow that's great. I don't think I'll have that. But I'll try to make it work, because I'm sure retiring the second I hit Medicare age. (chuckle)" But the money part of the talk ended there, and the conversation moved on. Do I think my friend of 30 years thinks I'm rude? no. Do I care that others think I'm rude? No. Do I think I was rude? No.
I always marvel that people take umbrage when certain questions are asked, about finances or anything else.
I don't care that my (true and decades-long) friends know what I have or what I make. So what. Over the years some times our discussions have been specific, some times they haven't. Whatever. If I was ever specific I did it so I could learn from them, if I thought they had some info that might educate me.
And if it's an acquaintance that you doesn't know as well as well, there are ways to answer that question without being specific, should you choose not to be. Some very good non-sarcastic, helpful examples have been given here.
I've never been a "that's none of your business" kind of person. I don't necessarily going around volunteering certain info to anyone and everyone. But I also don't get bent out of shape, if I'm asked a question.
That is fine if you don't mind being asked about your finances, but the fact remains that in our society it is considered rude to ask another person about his or her finances. If someone voluntarily shares, that is fine too, but the person volunteering his or her financial information should not expect a quid pro quo.
There are people with whom I've spent a lot of time, both friends and relatives, who have been in my house as house guests, and in whose houses I have been as house guests; however there is only one individual on the face of this earth about whom I know the details of a financial life (and that is because she chose to share, not because I asked). Sure, there are co-workers whose salaries and/or pension amounts we know, but that is only one piece of financial information about those people.
Also, over the years we do get some idea about certain people from remarks that they have dropped here and there. We often know who is struggling and who is not. For example, my sister once mentioned what her Social Security retirement benefit amount is, but that tells me almost nothing about the overall financial of her and her husband, because her SS amount is only one of a large number of pieces of their situation.
No one has ever ask that question. I assume most of our friends are in the same financial situation as we are. They take many vacations, live in nice houses, and live well.
I'll share anything with my siblings..... if anything ever happened to any of them I'd help financially if I can.....
I've also been talking to younger coworkers about the need to start saving NOW (they're in their 30's) and not wait until their kids have grown and gone.
One coworker shared that her dad wanted at least $800K in his portfolio before he retired. She thought that number was huge. I told her 800K over 30 years is not much money. Made her think about her own savings plan.
what ever the total amount you have on retirement is the amount you have to use for your remaining life. its up to individual what is enough. if he or she want to be extravagant and and less fund on retirement then they have to depend on Social Security. However, if they want to spend moderate they should be able to. as long as those individual are happy living after retirement. How much saving is enough, NO ONE KNOWS.
sometimes, greed and $$$ gets into people psyche. all the money in this world, if you are going to spend it like water, it still will not be enough. its up to that individual should know how much then need to budget themselves.
My rule of thumb is to never talk about money with anyone less affluent than I am. It creates all those bad things like envy, resentment, etc.
My sister knows my finances and my plan to fund my retirement in pretty good detail. She's power of attorney, health care power of attorney, and executor for my estate if something bad happens so it's kind of important she knows where I stand.
With friends, I just say my retirement math is that I have to work another 7 years and the numbers don't work if I retire before age 65.
Just retired here at age 60, and I've run into a few friends (in-laws and work acquaintances) who are a little insistent on information about how it's done. In general, these are well-meaning folks my age or older with a long history of bad financial decisions. Their first question is usually: "How much money do you HAVE?" I hate that question for a lot of reasons.
Just wondering if anyone has a good way of dealing with some of the post-retirement questions along these lines. I have no desire to offend anyone, but at the same time it seems prudent to avoid the more pointed questions.
Any interesting ways of handling this semi-delicate situation?
TIA.
Since I'm a bit of an evangelist when it comes to saving....I would tell them "I saved X (fill in the blank with double digit percentage here) % of my gross salary in my retirement plan for X number of years that I worked. I'd probably refer them to the Mr. Money Mustache "start here" page as well.
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"Oh will you have a million dollars?", she said yes. I said "wow that's great. I don't think I'll have that. But I'll try to make it work, because I'm sure retiring the second I hit Medicare age. (chuckle)" But the money part of the talk ended there, and the conversation moved on. Do I think my friend of 30 years thinks I'm rude? no. Do I care that others think I'm rude? No. Do I think I was rude? No.
