So many "Elder Orphans" in our society (gays, lesbians, spouses)
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Minerva, posts to a closed FB group will not be seen by your friends even when the posts show up on your timeline. You can, however, go to the group page and turn off Notifications. The posts will not show up on your timeline and you will have to deliberately go to the group page to post and read the group.
Could be a helpful and supportive FB group. I certainly am struggling with some 'Elder Orphan' issues in terms of trying to plan for the future. But the possibility of joining a Facebook Group that identifies with what some might consider a vulnerable group - older people who do not have close family and a personal support group - worries me a bit. An unscrupulous or criminal person could join the group and see my name and find out where I (or anyone in the group) and set out to try to take advantage of me (which I wouldn't permit) or do me actual harm. I wish I could join this "Elder Orphan" FB group, but the possibility of predatory individuals using the group for unsavory purposes does worry me. I have joined other Facebook Groups but not one that has a name which mentions a senior age group...
Could be a helpful and supportive FB group. I certainly am struggling with some 'Elder Orphan' issues in terms of trying to plan for the future. But the possibility of joining a Facebook Group that identifies with what some might consider a vulnerable group - older people who do not have close family and a personal support group - worries me a bit. An unscrupulous or criminal person could join the group and see my name and find out where I (or anyone in the group) and set out to try to take advantage of me (which I wouldn't permit) or do me actual harm. I wish I could join this "Elder Orphan" FB group, but the possibility of predatory individuals using the group for unsavory purposes does worry me. I have joined other Facebook Groups but not one that has a name which mentions a senior age group...
Am I being too paranoid?
Yes. Much more information about you can be found online than would be found through that group.
Could be a helpful and supportive FB group. I certainly am struggling with some 'Elder Orphan' issues in terms of trying to plan for the future. But the possibility of joining a Facebook Group that identifies with what some might consider a vulnerable group - older people who do not have close family and a personal support group - worries me a bit. An unscrupulous or criminal person could join the group and see my name and find out where I (or anyone in the group) and set out to try to take advantage of me (which I wouldn't permit) or do me actual harm. I wish I could join this "Elder Orphan" FB group, but the possibility of predatory individuals using the group for unsavory purposes does worry me. I have joined other Facebook Groups but not one that has a name which mentions a senior age group...
Am I being too paranoid?
You do realize you can join any FB group using any name you like? So long as it hasn't ben used before. I am very active on FB and I have several serious medical issues I don't discuss with friends and family. I join support groups under different names. Most are closed. I simply visit in and out of these groups as I feel like it.
You do realize you can join any FB group using any name you like? So long as it hasn't ben used before. I am very active on FB and I have several serious medical issues I don't discuss with friends and family. I join support groups under different names. Most are closed. I simply visit in and out of these groups as I feel like it.
I am thinking of doing this too. People are too honest on that page, or at least it LOOKS that way. I keep thinking eventually some evil person will figure out there are less than honest ways to use that group.
I am I guess considered an elder orphan at 61. So what. You deal with your situation. I pay to have someone with me if I need surgery. I pay to have a two bedroom apartment so I can keep my animals. I have a part time job as a hostess in a restaurant, I live on about $1500 a month and can go up to $2000 a month when the car needs something, the animals need something, I need medical care. I cook all my meals but now that I am working at the restaurant they feed me so that cuts out about $150 a month cost. The restaurant is only 3 miles from where I live so I don't spend a lot on gas. My rent is $1000. So I don't have much more to LIVE with but I am more than comfortable. Sure I get lonely. Sometimes very lonely. But again, when two of the animals finally leave this planet I will go into an independent living place that are springing up around here...they are called Section 42 Affordable Housing complexes. Nice apartments, a van that takes you to the grocery or to doc appointments. And the will take two pets with a monthly fee. It is not Section 8 housing. The builder makes a deal with the city/state to build a multi housing development and gets a big kick back for keeping the place Affordable for 10 years, after that it can be turned into what the market will bear. Not all have the van. But the two I am looking at do. One bedroom is about $650 plus utilities. If I can no longer care for myself and I must go into a nursing home, well, they can take the rest of whatever I have left and I will move to the nursing home. It is just reality. Deal with it!
I/we live in a 55+ and currently have our place up for sale. We are 66 and 69 and have lived here for 5 years. I won't be giving my reasons because every time I do, I get bashed here. It's just, not now, or ever been for us. We just bought a second home for snowbirding and before this we rented for the winter and the difference between our four months outside the 55+ bubble, living with all age groups, pets of all sizes and, the whirl of the world, is night and day. We hate coming home.
I have never lived in a 55+ type place, at least a defined 55+ place, but where I live now had been that way for quite a while. As these people have aged on and younger people have moved in the whole neighborhood has changed, for the positive. I feel exactly as you do.
Could be a helpful and supportive FB group. I certainly am struggling with some 'Elder Orphan' issues in terms of trying to plan for the future. But the possibility of joining a Facebook Group that identifies with what some might consider a vulnerable group - older people who do not have close family and a personal support group - worries me a bit. An unscrupulous or criminal person could join the group and see my name and find out where I (or anyone in the group) and set out to try to take advantage of me (which I wouldn't permit) or do me actual harm. I wish I could join this "Elder Orphan" FB group, but the possibility of predatory individuals using the group for unsavory purposes does worry me. I have joined other Facebook Groups but not one that has a name which mentions a senior age group...
Am I being too paranoid?
Just today one of the members on the "Elder Orphans" group warned people not to post too details about themselves that could lead to this sort of thing. She said there have been no problems but to be aware this could happen. You can tell your story without giving revealing details. If you are on FB you are already vulnerable to unscrupulous people. You just have to be vigilant about what you post.
seeriously, hating to come home is quite extreme. very interesting it has such an impact on you.
I agree. I had the opposite experience in my former Portland neighborhood. We went to having a variety of ages including seniors for decades and then suddenly it was all mostly Millennials. The young people living there today are not friendly to the remaining older people. They act as if the people who had been living there for a very long time don't belong there anymore.
My 80 year old former Portland neighbor and friend tells me all the younger people go around with either their heads down or noses in the air. She has stopped saying "Hello" to them because they never respond. It's so sad because this used to be a neighborhood where people would smile and say "Hello" even to strangers.
There probably is a different mindset for homeowners vs short term renters. I'm not knocking renters and homeowner youths are addicted to their phones too, but here they are more community minded and are very willing to share things like excess flower plants or things they no longer want. They put giveaways out at the curb and noted on nextdoor for anyone to pick up. This never happened before.
I have found them to be far more friendly than the older people that were here.
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