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Unfortunately there are a lot of folks, some seniors and some not, who just are not all that savvy when it comes to finances, or anything that requires higher level reading and planning skills.
My DH helps one of his long-time friends (since childhood) with all his financial and legal paperwork, taxes, etc. He's been doing his taxes for years, but the other help really started about 12 years ago, after a divorce, he was injured on the job and needed help with his disability paperwork. It became obvious that although he was competent at his job (roofer), he had been relying on his wife (now ex-wife) to handle all the family paperwork. He is functionally illiterate. He can read the words, but they are very confusing to him and he becomes disorganized and flustered by the fact that he just cannot make heads or tails of what he needs to do. My ever so sweet hubby will read all the documents that he sends us, translate them into 4th grade terms and literally TELL him exactly what to do, where to sign, how much to send, etc. We recently had to help him make decisions regarding a pension he didn't even know he was due from a long ago employer.
I think there are far more people in this kind of situation than we know. They can read, they just don't have the background or education to comprehend the financial ramifications of their actions, or even to know what options are available to them. The ability to weigh the various options and project into the future how they will affect their finances is just a level of complexity beyond their skills without some kind of remedial training. Personally, I have taken on this responsibility with my MIL. Her situations are more medical in nature, and I'm a better handler of that sort of info than DH, so we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Agreed.
I have done taxes and any sort of "numbers" type stuff for numerous ex's, and even some family members and friends. Many people not only don't know the technical details of whatever it is they want to do (let's face it, most of us are not technical experts on something unless we do it repeatedly or as a profession), but have no idea of where to find good advice or technical information. Even if they can get that far, perhaps they can't put the pieces together into a "usable format."
Lots of folks are just ignorant on basic finance. Many people have no idea what a marginal tax rate is. Some have no idea what the difference between a Chapter 7 and a Chapter 13 bankruptcy is.
It happens. People who have worked all their lives and only managed a living wage but not able to get ahead, are especially vulnerable. They are not deadbeats or scum. My meds run me around $300-$400 a month because I have to take some brand names and I have had reactions to some generics, the fillers, it seems. I cut them in half, take every other day, whatever. Due to medicare regulations, medicare part D recipients cannot get assistance from the manufacturer.
People pass judgment on others and do not always understand what the underlying factors are. People that "did not plan well" are not always ignorant and/or slackers.
OP, thank goodness there is a son willing to take them in.
Yeah, or, they could have simply gone to the VA hospital for the medicine like they finally ended up doing.
There's a LOT MORE to this story than is being told.
They have been retired 8 years. 8 years ago they were able to pay off their mortgage from some money she got from her company upon retirement. Her DH has poor health and would not be alive except for all the medical intervention over the years. One Dr. put him on something that cost them $500+ a month and refused to switch to a cheaper one when they begged him, he said too many side effects. Long time later they told dr. simply they were having to charge food and couldn't pay that charge bill...finally he was switched. Finally he went to VA for help and things are better, but it was too late, they were already swamped. I think they just did not know what to do and didn't share it.
I am a social worker working at the VA, if he is so very ill is there a chance that any of his illnesses are related to any period of active duty? If so he can apply to see if he is eligible for SC benefits. Additionally (and not knowing their full situation) may they qualify for additional funds through the Aid and Attendance program? Lastly, many VA hospitals offer assistance in the home for qualified veterans as well as assistance with housing for others. Please have your family member speak to their primary team clinic social worker to see what benefits this family member may be eligible for.
Unfortunately there are a lot of folks, some seniors and some not, who just are not all that savvy when it comes to finances, or anything that requires higher level reading and planning skills.
My DH helps one of his long-time friends (since childhood) with all his financial and legal paperwork, taxes, etc. He's been doing his taxes for years, but the other help really started about 12 years ago, after a divorce, he was injured on the job and needed help with his disability paperwork. It became obvious that although he was competent at his job (roofer), he had been relying on his wife (now ex-wife) to handle all the family paperwork. He is functionally illiterate. He can read the words, but they are very confusing to him and he becomes disorganized and flustered by the fact that he just cannot make heads or tails of what he needs to do. My ever so sweet hubby will read all the documents that he sends us, translate them into 4th grade terms and literally TELL him exactly what to do, where to sign, how much to send, etc. We recently had to help him make decisions regarding a pension he didn't even know he was due from a long ago employer.
I think there are far more people in this kind of situation than we know. They can read, they just don't have the background or education to comprehend the financial ramifications of their actions, or even to know what options are available to them. The ability to weigh the various options and project into the future how they will affect their finances is just a level of complexity beyond their skills without some kind of remedial training. Personally, I have taken on this responsibility with my MIL. Her situations are more medical in nature, and I'm a better handler of that sort of info than DH, so we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
I have a friend who does this for her neighbors. She has to take them to their appointments and sit in on the doctor visit because they just won't get it. Not even their kids understand. Its crazy.
And yes it is going to get worse. We were just discussing the record number of teenage pregnancies in our small school this year - 26 so far. What the heck. No one knows about birth control.
I know it is a leap to make the connection of teenage pregnancy to seniors - but bad decisions start somewhere.
Yeah, or, they could have simply gone to the VA hospital for the medicine like they finally ended up doing.
There's a LOT MORE to this story than is being told.
Like, drug and alcohol abuse perhaps.
I'm sure there is more to the story, but there is no reason to assume they are addicts. There is a difference between a lack of competence and an addict.
I am sorry to hear about your friends. It's great that the son wants them to move in, and that might turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Once she gets over the initial separation from the house, it will likely be a relief to her to have someone around since her husband is not in good health.
From what you describe, they sound as if they have always been financially stressed. Some people who aren't financially savvy are able to make it work, but others struggle especially if they won't ask for help. With a limited budget and no house skills, they probably should never have owned a home. It is rare that I think this about anyone, but there are some people who do better renting with someone else taking care of the problems. It brings home the point that there is no one formula for financial success, but that it has to be an individual thing.
At least they are finally getting help. The VA can be a life saver especially for those needing lots of meds. I hope your friends continue to pursue all opportunities for help.
Better idea is to contact your Congress people both Senators and Representative and advocate for Universal health care like the rest of the developed countries have. Even Mexico has had Universal health care since 2012. Tell your representative to support HR 676. Tell your Senators to work with Bernie Sanders on Universal Health Care. No one should have to go broke because they got sick.
Health care should be a right for all US citizens.
This couple is close relative. And NO neither one does illegal drugs or smokes anything and neither one drinks. Neither of them have done any of that practically forever. He told me he didn't go to the VA because he figured he wasn't eligible for any help because he had no disability from his Navy years, and wasn't in any of the wars.
What gets me is one son is career Army. Surely he would have known this and would have told them what to do?
This couple is very very proud. Last time we helped, because we footed some of the building materials for their house, she actually cried she felt so bad. But, see, some of the stuff I'm reading here I didn't know either. And if I didn't know about all this help out there, how could I expect them to know?
At least she was smart enough to keep up their health insurance. They'd have been sunk a long time ago without that.
Pat - So sorry about the plight of your relatives. I have no advice, just hoping you and they can see a little light at the end of the tunnel some day.
None of us know what the future holds for any of us, whether we have a good retirement or not. We can plan to be able to take care of ourselves till death and then along comes a terrible illness that lasts a long time and does a constant drain on our income.
We can all play the Monday morning quarterback game--- should'a done this, should'a done that, etc. No one knows what is store for the next person much less ourselves.
I had my own personal turn-around with my retirement plans. Things happen we have no control over. And it would be nice to find people who have supportive things to say, ideas to share, not just remarks of how the other person "did it wrong."
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