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I think feeling as if one is disappearing can be a function of being older (seniors) and not necessarily a function of where one is living whether that is where one grew up or where one's relatives/former acquaintances live rather than in a different state.
Last edited by matisse12; 05-11-2017 at 06:56 PM..
Some people just have a hard time moving away. They don't want change. They get "homesick". When I was a young person I went away to college, several thousand miles away, and in effect started a new life. My wife and I have done that numerous times. Each time is a new adventure with new opportunities and new experiences.
If you do not have an adventurous spirit and new adventures and new opportunities are not appealing maybe you should move back to your "roots". Don't be surprised it that turns out different than you expect also. Most of us find we cannot live in the past even if we might want to.
You've got to create your own sense of belonging wherever you are. Get a dog and go to the local dog park-you'll make instant friends. Join a tennis or golf or YMCA and hang out there-more friends. Go to events at your local library, book clubs, meetups, etc.
Once you make a few friends and find a few places to hang out you will feel connected anywhere. You will be ''invisible'' if you isolate yourself socially.
It's more than geography and history. Memories can be made and recalled anywhere at anytime, but living fully in the here and now is a lot more fun!
Probably because of my entire childhood as a Navy brat, I never really had "roots." I've lived in several states and dozens of cities in the US and Asia.
I have no emotional attachments to anyone or anything. It's not an exaggeration or self-pity to say that I could die tomorrow and no one would notice, except for my employer. But, this is not all bad. I can easily adapt to living anywhere. When it's time to kick the bucket, I can do so without making a ripple. Would it be better to have a lot of people grieve my passing? I think not!
Hi there,
Well, what are your passions? iow the kinds of activities you can not help but continue enjoying... do Understand your passions go with you, wherever you may roam, so you're always 'home' &
then
just connect with others also passionate be it Gardening, or Sports, or a Book-club, or whatever... God wants you to have fun...
Yes, I agree God wants me to have fun and God wants to give me the desires of my heart..
So pray with me 2rainbows
Dear God,
If it be your will please help give me the fortitude to live my passion by the shore.
Probably because of my entire childhood as a Navy brat, I never really had "roots." I've lived in several states and dozens of cities in the US and Asia.
I have no emotional attachments to anyone or anything. It's not an exaggeration or self-pity to say that I could die tomorrow and no one would notice, except for my employer. But, this is not all bad. I can easily adapt to living anywhere. When it's time to kick the bucket, I can do so without making a ripple. Would it be better to have a lot of people grieve my passing? I think not!
Straight and to the point.
Independant & free. Probably the closest thing to enlightenment.
Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.
- The Dalai Lama
My siblings and I live very far apart and have for the last 20 years. My sister moved to Canada. I really miss seeing my siblings daily. We grew up in a small town with all of our extended relatives. I miss that. Everyone has now moved to far flung locations. I hope that when we retire we can all live near each other again. My sister and I often talk about buying land to build a family compound...lol
DH & I are in our late 60s and recently moved 400 miles away from the community where we'd lived as a couple for 36 years, where his family has lived for 4 generations, and where all of my and his siblings and their children and grandchildren live; also his many cousins and their children and grandchildren. We have literally scores of relatives there, you can't drive a 1/2 mile without passing the house of one.
We don't feel like we disappearing in our new community. Quite the opposite: we feel for the first time in our lives that when we meet/interact with people, they are seeing us for the individuals we are and not as "so-and-so's daughter/son/aunt/uncle/brother/sister".
Don't get me wrong, we love our relatives dearly. But we find it liberating and empowering to live in a place where people don't use them to categorize us.
I think feeling as if one is disappearing can be a function of being older (seniors) and not necessarily a function of where one is living whether that is where one grew up or where one's relatives/former acquaintances live rather than in a different state.
In my case it's not getting older. It's the actual change that has occurred in the social fabric of my "home town."
It's somewhat due to the very tech revolution I and two generations before me helped drive. Well, that combined with extreme macro economic forces. When I was a kid, tech was a cottage industry and its pioneers, while including a contingent of hot shots with degrees from top schools who were raised in places of cachet, had many more who grew up on farms or at most came from places almost no one knows.
Now? The "A players" of the world have descended upon us.
It's a double edged sword. On the one hand, it's intellectually stimulating and makes me play a better game.
On the other hand, so many unique regional qualities, some reaching all the way back to "Los Californios," have died out or left with a diaspora of natives who've parlayed massive real estate appreciation into new lives in less expensive places.
Location: Born in L.A. - NYC is Second Home - Rustbelt is Home Base
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tidaldream
I have a serious question to throw out if you want to volley.
For those of you who have moved very far from your roots..
does the distance feel greater than the miles?
I live in a different state from where I grew up.
Life doesn't feel homey, rather it feels like I am slowly vanishing.
Kinda yes, my family mostly gone and in other states far away.
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I'm already gone
&
be it Gardening, or Sports, or a Book-club, or whatever... God wants you to have fun...
