Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was debating whether to share this story about Robyn and at first decided not to. However our sharing has reached the point where we are talking about the forum and how we learn about folks and may know them better than folks we worked with in real life. I share this as both a caution and a reality of frequent posting over time in forums as Robyn and I both have.
Robyn along with others has frequently posted in discussions about financial issues and while some may not have responded and others like myself have they are still reading. Some may have noticed months ago how Robyn cut back considerably her posting on financial topics. I can share some insight as to why.
At a point in a discussion I responded to Robyn I was aware of her financial situation. That prompted a quick response from her that I had no idea about her financial situation and shouldn't imply that I did. She posted that in the forum and not DM.
I very politely sent her a DM apologizing for incorrectly making a assumption and saying it in public. I admitted that I incorrectly had come to the understanding that:
I proceeded to share what I had thought her financial situation was from my reading of her post this included specific numbers. I concluded it with an apology.
I quickly got a response from a stunned Robyn amazed that my numbers were accurate with a minimal margin of error based on recent ROI etc etc. There were multiple specifics I had shared that were accurate.
We proceeded to discuss how I was able to come to the conclusions I had. We both realized that how if a person pays attention and remembers ( I do ) that over extended posting we share more than we realize. While our discussions may be more specific in responding to those we often discuss with, however others are also reading. Robyn shared she needed not to discuss as much and I noticed a drop in her financial sharing. How much of this was the onset of health issues and how much directly from our discussion I don't know.
This is a wonderful opportunity to meet and discuss with others, however we need to be aware our posts can be read by hundreds if not thousands who never pipe in.
I hope folks understand the spirit I am sharing this in and I suspect Robyn would want all to know that caution can be prudent.
Turborg - I totally understand what you're saying. In general, we tend to get too trusting - mainly because the vast majority on CD are trustworthy, but it only takes that one person to cause unthinkable harm.
I feel I had a good idea of her financial situation based on her posts.
For me Robyn was another on-line friend. I consider all of you that as well. We have this wonderful forum that has brought us together for one reason or another. I came here looking for answers to a few question. After finding those answers only opened up more questions. Still that is not all that is here.
We post what comes to mind and usually it involves something specific in our own lives. We come here to laugh and share. We share our lives anonymously here but we assign a picture of each other based upon our posts. We are related to each other and all of us are family (those that post regularly).
Why did I just rant on about CD and the forum? Because we lost a family member. Robyn was a valued family member who will certainly be missed. Her words here will live on for years to come, and we can remember those words of wisdom.
I'm more open and post with less regard to a person's feelings and more blunt in my posts than I am w/ ordinary life acquaintances and even friends - probably more "in your face and assertive" than in real life because what the hell, who cares, it's only a message board....but probably more my true self.
Hey, readers on the City-Data have feelings, too. I hope people posting here will avoid direct personal insults to others on the forum. A few months ago a poster called me some very nasty names and directly insulted me as a human being, because I did not agree with her opinion. I considered the source and did not let it affect me, but it was extremely rude and uncalled for. Thankfully, the mod removed it. So maybe everyone can think twice about their words...
I was very sorry to hear about Robyn. I wondered why she hadn't posted in a while. I always enjoyed her posts...they were intelligent, with lots of good information. RIP, Robyn.
I was debating whether to share this story about Robyn and at first decided not to. However our sharing has reached the point where we are talking about the forum and how we learn about folks and may know them better than folks we worked with in real life. I share this as both a caution and a reality of frequent posting over time in forums as Robyn and I both have.
Robyn along with others has frequently posted in discussions about financial issues and while some may not have responded and others like myself have they are still reading. Some may have noticed months ago how Robyn cut back considerably her posting on financial topics. I can share some insight as to why.
At a point in a discussion I responded to Robyn I was aware of her financial situation. That prompted a quick response from her that I had no idea about her financial situation and shouldn't imply that I did. She posted that in the forum and not DM.
I very politely sent her a DM apologizing for incorrectly making a assumption and saying it in public. I admitted that I incorrectly had come to the understanding that:
I proceeded to share what I had thought her financial situation was from my reading of her post this included specific numbers. I concluded it with an apology.
I quickly got a response from a stunned Robyn amazed that my numbers were accurate with a minimal margin of error based on recent ROI etc etc. There were multiple specifics I had shared that were accurate.
We proceeded to discuss how I was able to come to the conclusions I had. We both realized that how if a person pays attention and remembers ( I do ) that over extended posting we share more than we realize. While our discussions may be more specific in responding to those we often discuss with, however others are also reading. Robyn shared she needed not to discuss as much and I noticed a drop in her financial sharing. How much of this was the onset of health issues and how much directly from our discussion I don't know.
This is a wonderful opportunity to meet and discuss with others, however we need to be aware our posts can be read by hundreds if not thousands who never pipe in.
I hope folks understand the spirit I am sharing this in and I suspect Robyn would want all to know that caution can be prudent.
I've been posting on boards since the early 80's when they were local and the big ones like Fido weren't around yet. My ex and I had our own board. We had quite a big membership too, and I actually met a few of out frequent posters. There were other boards and we had a sysops group that met once a month. I was secretary. But it was always interesting to see just how close a user was to the person their posts suggested. The ones who stuck around tended to be very close to their 'real' persona.
I've always enjoyed boards since the things I'm really interested in aren't out there with the door open welcoming all. The friends I've made, especially the ones who I've actually met, are people interested in the off the wall stuff I am. Sometimes today its forgotten that when media fandoms appeared, and people started writing stories about their favorites, it was just an oddity to move, and they would grow up. Now its become a part of our society. Most of us have grown up, but still love our shows/books/alternate realities just the same and still seek out others who do too.
Part of getting to know someone who's sitting across from you at work, or you see often at the dog park, and so on is done much the same. You start out with things you share, and then when you start getting a picture of the person, you try a few trial ballons. If they connect, and you find they and you share a lot, its great. If you don't you haven't destroyed anything. But we do learn to respect those who might not be quite us, but have lots of stuff to discuss. It gets boring when you always agree about everything. We do that in boards and messaging when we find someone we enjoy.
A friend I met on boards, and in trek fandom, who changed my life. She told me about where she moved and she moved for the very same reason I wanted to. She's why I'm here in my little house. We were good friends and it was very sad to lose her. I would never have considered a cheaper cost small town without her. I never would have gotten involved in writing stories if I hadn't been involved in online fandom.
And yes, there must be some caution. Don't give out personal data like your address or phone. Use a screenname. Respect people when you disagree, for its about sharing ideas and not slamming them (at least in the places I go). And be honest. You might even meet someone who ends up more than a favorite poster. But do that privately.
Boards are awesome since we all sit in our rooms with our phone or computer in front of us, and can find a great deal of diversity on the screen from individuals. I don't think we can avoid defining ourselves in time, with honest sharing. Sometimes it gets closer, but only if both choose to. But I can't imagine sitting there at home alone with no boards.
People used to find penpalls and write many letters. There were services who would coordinate, and people did not necessarily use their own. It wasn't uncommon for friends made across distances to write for years. We're just the modern version of the penpal.
It's amazing the diversity of people out there, and boards help us find out that in the end, sharing ideas, we are more LIKE each other than not,
Last edited by nightbird47; 09-02-2017 at 05:41 PM..
Hey, readers on the City-Data have feelings, too. I hope people posting here will avoid direct personal insults to others on the forum. A few months ago a poster called me some very nasty names and directly insulted me as a human being, because I did not agree with her opinion. I considered the source and did not let it affect me, but it was extremely rude and uncalled for. Thankfully, the mod removed it. So maybe everyone can think twice about their words...
Back when online message boards just started out, my ex and I had a general one, and there were perhaps ten others in the area. All of them had mods. I've tried some which are not monitored, but they all soon fell into a vast negative space and eventually that was all. I've had a few boards I quit because they were over moderated, and just disagreeing with the mod got you nailed. So there is a happy medium which this board very successfully follows.
You'll get a comment made in haste and without thought now and then, or make one, but mods who keep that comfortable medium are invaluable.
I just recently heard the news about Robyn's death. I am very sorry to hear about this. She had a lot of valuable information to share regarding retirement. Even though we may not have always
agreed with her opinions, her passing is a great loss.
What a sad surprise when I wonder if Robyn is still active so I can ask her comment about annuity, I found out she left all of us alone!
I never met her in real life, only communicate through virtual world. But she was such caring, intelligent and prolific poster that we all miss badly.
Rest In Peace, Robyn!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
