Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Look at the one from VT. I did it a year or so ago, and really don't want to pull it out now to look (head in the sand right now). But I remember it had a pretty long list of situations that might give you some ideas on what to write in on yours. One I remember is would you want antibiotics if there is a good chance it could save you. Others were worded something like "if there is little chance of survival, would you want..."
It is a very hard form to fill out. Very emotional.
But if I put DNR on my advance directive, and mean it as only with a terminal condition, will they not revive me for a heart attack which I might have an excellent chance of recovering from? Again, I'm only 58.
I found it helped me to look at a number of examples from different sources. Many states require some specific verbiage be included. Some are more detailed than others. There are templates you can use to start off, then edit the basic acceptable form and add special conditions. There are forms offered by different organizations; the Five Wishes is one example. Getting into the weeds comparing them helps you tease these things out. It also helps you discover things you didn't know you wanted.
Don't forget, just because you have a directive doesn't mean you can't change your mind about it. Life events may alter what you want. A good thing to re-visit periodically just like a will. Some people find they end up having more and more "conditions" as they get older. Others just the opposite.
I'll have to Youtube that one, it rings a bell but I don't remember. I can use a laugh! Seinfeld's apply to everything. I posted a Youtube about Poppy not washing his hands on a thread about Covid-19 and hand-washing!
Yep, I’ve always felt that Seinfeld covered everything.
I found it helped me to look at a number of examples from different sources. Many states require some specific verbiage be included. Some are more detailed than others. There are templates you can use to start off, then edit the basic acceptable form and add special conditions. There are forms offered by different organizations; the Five Wishes is one example. Getting into the weeds comparing them helps you tease these things out. It also helps you discover things you didn't know you wanted.
Don't forget, just because you have a directive doesn't mean you can't change your mind about it. Life events may alter what you want. A good thing to re-visit periodically just like a will. Some people find they end up having more and more "conditions" as they get older. Others just the opposite.
That makes a lot of sense, thanks! I’m looking at examples but trying to get a better sense of the special instructions people write.
My best advice is to discuss this in depth with the person who you list as your medical POA (as well as with the secondary person). My late husband and I had discussed it many times so I knew exactly what his wishes would be.
I have discussed this with my adult children and I know that they would be able to make the appropriate decision in whatever medical situation faces me.
Yes, it is difficult but IMHO, it is something that every adult needs to do.
Dumb question (and I know it probably depends on the state), but are advance directives legally-binding? Or can family members who don't agree override them and go against your wishes?
My best advice is to discuss this in depth with the person who you list as your medical POA (as well as with the secondary person). My late husband and I had discussed it many times so I knew exactly what his wishes would be.
I have discussed this with my adult children and I know that they would be able to make the appropriate decision in whatever medical situation faces me.
Yes, it is difficult but IMHO, it is something that every adult needs to do.
Yes you are right. It’s such a hard subject! I dread even talking about it but I know we have to. When we did his he was very decisively “Nope, don’t want that”. I can’t even decide whether to get the age defying body wash or extra moisturizing, lol.
Dumb question (and I know it probably depends on the state), but are advance directives legally-binding? Or can family members who don't agree override them and go against your wishes?
To my knowledge they are not legally-binding (except, perhaps in very, very unusual cases where they court system gets involved). IMHO, that is why ALL the family members need to be aware of the wishes so they do not try to "out vote" or "out yell" or "out guilt" the person who is legally responsible for making the final decision (the person designated as Medical POA).
In my late husband's case he was quite clear to the entire family that he did not want to be kept alive "by artificial means" (such as a ventilator). But, since I was his designated Medical POA (for an activated Medical POA) the doctors only asked me and did not involve any other family member.
Sometimes problems arise when the person does not have a valid Medical POA, so all four or five or six adult children (and maybe even their spouses and other relatives) start arguing about what Mom or Dad really wants to happen. What a potential mess.
But if I put DNR on my advance directive, and mean it as only with a terminal condition, will they not revive me for a heart attack which I might have an excellent chance of recovering from? Again, I'm only 58.
If you put just DNR, then no, they won't revive you from a heart attack. I used to have DNR written on my papers, but thankfully couldn't find them when I had my heart attack and my heart stopped. I wouldn't be writing here now if I had.
If you put just DNR, then no, they won't revive you from a heart attack. I used to have DNR written on my papers, but thankfully couldn't find them when I had my heart attack and my heart stopped. I wouldn't be writing here now if I had.
Wow! So would you just skip that part and then try to change it if you had a terminal illness? Or check it, and then write in the additional instructions that it only applies in the case of a terminal illness?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
