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There are two sides to every story, but it would seem your dad should have considered the consequences and alternatives (given that he was already not getting along with his boss). Even getting fired would have gotten him unemployment and Cobra insurance! He may have been 'baited to quit' because of his age, but regardless, it's extremely poor judgment for someone is his condition. The best alternative, given the workload, etc., might be to swallow his pride and see if there is any way he can make amends. Where did he work before 2017? (If they've only got $100-200K in retirement accounts and $100K in home equity, they have even fewer options ... these estimates sound really low, unless they have a history of bad decisions).
Nevertheless, they both have 2-years (or less, depending on birthdays) to make it through to Medicare. At their age with your mom's health condition, it's unlikely either one is employable, but the least your dad should do is track-down the possibilities for full or part-time work.
In Florida, a lot of older people work at Publix or CVS just to get healthcare insurance. Even Cobra insurance can cost them $1500 per month. There may also be a possibility of lower cost catastrophic cost. Finally, if you are anywhere near on your estimates of their net worth and equity, they may be forced into a 'no insurance' position for the next one or two years.
Nevertheless, while your concern is understandable and commendable, it doesn't sound like this is your problem to solve. Your mom's solution (sell the house and get a divorce) will likely only make things worse. Likewise, she is unlikely to qualify for disability (under SS, but that's worth a shot). What is your dad's solution to this situation?
You make it sound much worse than what it is and being over dramatic just like you were when your mom quit her job. Remember, you thought it was the end of the world and would have to support them.
Your parents can get onto ACA and not pay much at all since they have little income now, basically both will be on SS. Your parents have a very small house payment or maybe not any house payment at this point right? They are not flat broke and still have a decent savings account in case of emergencies.
Your mom is ticked off because her remodel plans for the house are not going to happen now. That's too bad but your dad's mental health and well being are more important. She'll get over it just like your Dad had to get over her quiting her job.
What your parents need now is some emotional support from you, not your hysterics.
The house payment is around $800. That’s why I mentioned that, from a strict “keeping the basic bills up” standpoint, they’d probably be OK. It would be a fairly lean retirement, but they wouldn’t be eating dog food. What they can’t do is pay for two residences, huge insurance premiums, etc.
Mom will likely calm down on the divorce. I don’t see how she could make it on her own, and he does baby her.
How many people do you know who just quit on the spot at 63 with no health insurance lined up and no plan at all? It’s not fair to her that he leaves her stranded. There are days I absolutely hate what I do, but I can’t quit without something else lined up.
I also don’t have anyone who is dependent on me. Mom is basically a dependent at this point.
With that said, he’s been doing physical work and has been working a lot of hours. I do think he will find another job, at least part time.
NO NO NO NO. Find them a health insurance specialist, not a guy who sells car and house insurance. They are two different animals. I'd bet the State Farm guy doesn't even sell health insurance, but he/she might be a resource for a referral.
The healthcare.gov site is surprisingly well done. It could probably provide all the information they need, if they are DYI researchers.
(PS I am NOT a fan of the ACA, but their situation is exactly what it does well. And its probably their only alternative.)
I was on the ACA about eight years ago at 27.
A silver plan was $400/month at the time. I was making $12/hr. What’s it going to be for two 60 year olds? Thousands?
You make it sound much worse than what it is and being over dramatic just like you were when your mom quit her job. Remember, you thought it was the end of the world and would have to support them.
Your parents can get onto ACA and not pay much at all since they have little income now, basically both will be on SS. Your parents have a very small house payment or maybe not any house payment at this point right? They are not flat broke and still have a decent savings account in case of emergencies.
Your mom is ticked off because her remodel plans for the house are not going to happen now. That's too bad but your dad's mental health and well being are more important. She'll get over it just like your Dad had to get over her quiting her job.
What your parents need now is some emotional support from you, not your hysterics.
Couldn't rep you again.
SC, it's their life. You need to let them live it, and keep out of it. They aren't broke. They have a home and savings, SS, and "a few small pensions". That's a lot more than many folks their age, who all manage to get by just fine. If they are low enough income, they'll get ACA subsidies. Or they could join up with one of those medi-share groups that many people belong to. They may have to learn to actually live within their NEW means, but they are a far cry from you having to support them. Somehow they actually managed to live their lives for the last 63 years, so don't get so dramatic.
A silver plan was $400/month at the time. I was making $12/hr. What’s it going to be for two 60 year olds? Thousands?
No. When we were 60, still looking for jobs prior to retirement, our ACA was only $80 for us both. It's based on income, after all. Of course, there is still the atrocious deductible and co-pay, if you need treatment.
You're putting an awful lot of pressure on your dad. He's 63 and working a physically taxing job. Sometimes people just cant take it anymore. Sounds like they have an affordable house, some savings, and theres no reason he cant go out and find something else to do. Cut him a little slack, dont act like a spoiled rotten kid who didnt get the toy he wanted, and give them a chance to work it out. Odds are they will figure a way and be just fine.
My mom and dad are both 63. Mom retired in 2019 immediately when she turned 62 and took early SS. She has fairly considerable health issues, and while she was wanting to retire early anyway, dad had been encouraging her to retire, promising he'd work until 65 for the insurance. She never made more than $40,000/yr, so her SS is pretty small, though she has a couple of small pensions from various banks she's worked at.
He has been working as a lead mechanic at a local manufacturing facility since 2017 or 2018 - about $56,000/year with a lot of overtime the past year or so. The place is poorly run - they've been working a lot of Saturdays, but will then send people home a few hours early on a random day during the week or something. A new evening boss was hired recently, and dad didn't get along with him.
Mom called me yesterday evening and said there was a big argument and that dad quit his job on the spot. Neither of them have health insurance now. This wasn't planned - they have a small kitchen model lined up for July, recently had the bathrooms remodeled for $20k+, bought new cell phones, he joined a gym last week, etc. He apparently just had all he could take. He has been complaining about the job for awhile, but everyone is overworked, stressed, etc. - I figured it was just normal venting.
I'm at a loss for words. It's not really about him at this point - he had promised mom that he would work to 65 to keep the insurance. While it would be bad to lose your job through no fault of your own and be left without insurance at that age, the fact that he just quit like this is so out of character for him and puts mom (especially) in a real bind is just hard for me to understand. I'm furious and don't even want to talk to him. I went ahead and blocked his number. What really bothers me is my dad has been my best friend, and doing this to mom, after he promised he would work to keep the insurance, is a huge letdown.
Mom said this morning that she's wanting to get the house painted, put it up for sale, and file for divorce. She'll probably have to find a job, but I'm not sure she can even hold a job with her health. At 63 and in an area with a lousy economy, I'm not sure who will hire them. They may be able to get a job at a store or low end job, but my guess is career-type employment with benefits is probably over.
They don't have much money. My guess is $100k-$200k in retirement plans, maybe $100k home equity. They have several small pensions, but it's not a ton. They could probably make it income wise, keeping up the mortgage and such, living together, but I don't see them having enough to live apart, or even together covering insurance.
I told mom this morning that I can listen, but I don't want either one of them living with me. I don't have unlimited funds to support them. I can't put her on my insurance. My ability to help other than providing some direction.
Where would you even begin to start at this point? Where could she get insurance other than the Obamacare exchanges? Should I even try to get involved? At some level, this isn't my problem to solve, though I hate to see them in this position, especially mom being that he said he would take care of her and that she had no input in this at all.
Take a deep breath.
You say your Dad has been your best friend. So talk with your best friend. See what his plans are. Dad may be planning to retire or he may just want a different job. If he has been a lead mechanic, he is likely employable, if that what he wants.
You can help them figure out what they would pay on ACA for insurance.
If they decide they want to sell their home while the market is hot and move to a less expensive place, you can help them do that.
I have to agree with the others. Calm down and breathe. Your parents' situation isn't dire. They will be able to get affordable insurance through the healthcare.gov exchange, and your dad will probably be able to pick up some sort of part-time work to tide them over before Social Security kicks in. (For that matter, has your dad checked to see what his Social Security monthly payment would be if he filed for it now?)
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