A Positive Take on Solitary Activities (physically, retired, years, twin)

[jimwen]

Originally Posted by jazzcat22

At last an article that says older people can be healthy without much social contact, doing solitary activities they love without feeling lonely. It does say a little contact us needed now and then, and even casual interaction helps.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/yo...te-11640817637

I wasn't getting that much for social security and was looking to work part time. I found an online job at a where I work from home and it pays OK. I'm happy with it and rarely go out anymore. Since I started the job in October, I've put about 150 miles on my car. That was mostly to run errands and hit the grocery. To tell the truth, the way society is today, I'm happy not to have to put up with it!

[xPlorer48]

I enjoy my alone time, especially when walking the pups, gardening (ornamental and edible) and my art projects (colored pencils mainly but some watercolor and graphite). I am married but we have always enjoyed individual pursuits. We have a small home business so if I am in the move to socialize, I can always talk to our clients. Some have become friends.

[fluffythewondercat]

Living where I do there's no chance of having in-person social contact, especially now with omicron, so that's out.

I've recently reconnected with a beloved cousin who has been treated poorly by my mother and sister. Both are vicious gossips. Ah, family. Can't live with 'em, can't take 'em out with an AR-15. But a girl can dream.

I grew up with my cousin. He's a few years younger. Had a rocky adulthood. His oldest son committed suicide, then his marriage fell apart. He's since remarried. Thanks to Ancestry.com he discovered he has a younger half-sister his parents never told him about. I don't know how they managed to keep her under wraps in a small town but I guess that means I have a "new" cousin too.

[Riley.]

I SO appreciate everyone's comments here.
thank you all

[odanny]

I went to the grocery store early yesterday on New Years Eve, and noticed when I was there around 3 or 4 people working there, all of them at least 70, with two of them possibly in their 80's. I thought to myself "why work at this age?" and then I realized that they probably are not there for the money, more so for the sense of purpose and the social interactions. It's like that with all of us, and to be honest, when I retire in a year, I won't need to work for the money after I retire, but I cannot sit around all day, and will need those social interactions that I have had at my job(s) for the past 30-ish years.

I've read the most important thing in retirement/later years is a sense of purpose, a reason for getting up everyday. Volunteer work or being committed to your employer is important for the human condition, and it's something I am going to have to figure out when I retire.

[reneeh63]

I especially like that the article encourages you to take a closer look to see if your activities have changed or narrowed over time and to figure out why. There may be very sensible reasons why (like COVID) and examining that can help you understand if you want to take other measures to bring back some kinds of contact because you maybe didn't even realize you were missing it.

But just "normalizing" less intense forms of contact is great - you don't have to be in the midst of a big party to socialize - there are many ways to do it even if you're not in the same room with someone - it all counts as contact.

[I Luv Chins]

Part of aging, I guess, but I look back at youth and laugh a little.

I can't believe I thought puffing up my physical appearance and elevating the charm was sooo important to get a date. Exhausting! Job interviews where I sat in a strange office and promoted myself to a stranger to get a job? GAAAH! The mental and emotional work needed to develop agreeable and constructive work relationships? Get outta here!

I'm only in my early 60s, but I couldn't do that now. Just couldn't. It's too much work and way too much stress. The things I did when young was for survival and to meet the expectations placed on someone that age at that time. Thankfully, there was the energy and gumption in me that made those decades survivable.

My days are now spent in quiet retirement with a spouse and puppers, doing things like cross stitch and family history research. "Getting out" means a McDonald's breakfast with all the other oldsters in town, sometimes chatting to people at the next table or listening to a guy across the restaurant who really should get hearing aids so we don't have to listen to him holler about the "wonderful" Trump years. Dude, did you notice there is a ring of empty tables around you?

These quiet, solitary, "nothing" years are the best for us. "Experts" can pontificate about the need for a social life in the last decades, I'd rather have the peace and semi-solitude as an antidote to the many decades I spent not being my true self.

[Vision67]

In retirement during Covid, I'm doing all I can to avoid people.

I shop in the early hours when most people sleep. I avoid being in public. I really want to avoid breathing their exhaled virus particles.

I'm fine at home spending my time reading or gardening. Amazon is my friend. I treasure solitude.

This is a good time to be introverted.

[galaxyhi]

Originally Posted by atlguy44

The fact that the past 2 years have led to a deterioration in human civility, a solitary existence is not a bad idea until people relearn how to interact with others in a civil and respectful way.

This about sums up at least my background thoughts.

First, I was a tiny, almost premie baby. I was 5#3oz at birth, mother was sent home while I stayed in an incubator for 3 mos, and weighed only 4#7oz going home. At 6mos, my father came home from college class to find my mother rocking me on her shoulder, crying. In a panic, he asked what was wrong.
She looked at him and said 'he just cried!' (for the first time I ever made a sound!)

But somehow I turned into a very hyperactive child. (Today I probably would have been diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin).
Which some of the other kids didn't like, therefore didn't want to play with me).

Also in our small out in the country development, my parents were the youngest parents there, and I being their oldest, was the age of most of the neighbors youngest.

When there became a problem playing at a neighbor house, I was sent home, sometimes for what seems like stupid reasons.
Once for example, I was sent home for getting out of the sandbox on the wrong side!
I was sent home, and by the time I got home the mother down the street had called my mother saying 'he can't come here ever again to play'.
Seems the folks there had a strict rule that kids only enter or leave the sandbox only on the back side, so any sand or footsteps damaging the grass would not affect the look of the grass on the sides or front as viewed from the house!

So, several times my mother would say "go out and play, stay in your own yard and play by yourself"!

So I was maybe'forced to be a loner'.

So, I don't mind solitude, but it's not aways preferred, maybe.

Spouse (S) is the social butterfly in the relationship, but S also likes the quiet solitude at home, just the two of us.

As someone above said, I might be very lonely if it wasn't for modern invention s.

I enjoy TV, have only antenna service. It's on a lot. I especially watch ME TV a lot.

I also post here, though I may take long breaks from, too.

I'll play music, still have a collection of CDs, or through YouTube on my smartphone.

The only thing that really bothers me is we really only have 3 close friends, but two live 45 mins away, and the third moved an hour away to another city.

No one but ourselves can spell trouble if we both became sick.

Here's a New Years toast:
Cheers for all the loner people!

[TMSRetired]

Society has pushed everyone into being extroverts and if you didn't conform there was something wrong with you.
Society still does to a point but there are plenty of people that don't give a darn what articles say.