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Old 10-06-2022, 07:16 AM
 
50,834 posts, read 36,538,623 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
That is good if you are a disabled veteran. But what happens to an elderly civilian who is allowed to keep their 500K house but only given $60/month to live on. How are those taxes going to get paid. And if they don't get paid, I guess that means they lose the house, too?

$60/month amounts to a whopping $13.84 a week. They better have nearby doctors because they'll never be able to afford the gas to get to them otherwise.
They have the option of selling the house, and using the $500,000 to go to the ALF of their choice. Or allowing family to live there who will take over the bills.

The state is paying thousands a month for every person in an ALF or SNF on Medicaid, and you think it's unfair that they can't keep their income to pay taxes and bills on a house that's either empty, never to be returned to, or has someone else living in it?

Once they are in ALF or SNF there are no worries about transport, they have their own transport to medical appointments, stores, etc. The only expenses my mom had was the facility hairdresser and grocery delivery (all meals were included but not items such as shampoo, snacks, etc) How much you can keep depends on your income. My mom's was about $90 a month. Every year you recertify for Medicaid by sending them proof of income and a couple of months of bank statements, and they send you a letter telling you what you owe to the facility based on income, and what's left beyond that you can keep. My mom's facility, by the last few years when she was almost total care, was about $9500 a month, that's the bill we would get. All we had to pay of it was $1700 or so.

No one was going to live in my mom's house again, there was no reason we needed it. It sucks for me in terms of inheritance because I got a whole $1500, but a big part of that was my mom's refusal to plan ahead of time and move to an accessible home while she was still healthy.

Last edited by ocnjgirl; 10-06-2022 at 07:42 AM..
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Old 10-06-2022, 07:23 AM
 
50,834 posts, read 36,538,623 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
This is relevant to my family.

I need to do more due diligence, but the demented grandmother and grandfather have always split money. Our best guess is they have about $100k in checking each - no other investments, but no one has accesses to their finances to confirm anything. Grandfather won't pay a penny for her treatment. She's demented to the point that she doesn't know what money even is now. She has no one else on her accounts, so no one can access her money.

She fell a few weeks ago. She's in a rehab facility, but will be required to leave next Friday. Where do you send someone like this? She's not poor enough for Medicaid without clawbacks, but her money is inaccessible. The husband won't pay. Only 1/5 kids are financially able to cover the costs of private pay, and he won't do it.

What do you do here?
I would be talking to the facility social worker. If it gets really bad and her health is declining or she's at risk, you might have to apply for guardianship.

My mom had about $150,000 plus a house worth (it turned out) $55,000. That was the perfect time to apply, because she was able to meet the ALF requirement to pay privately for 18 months before she could stay on Medicaid. And memory care is more $$ than standard ALF. Is grandfather competent?
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Old 10-06-2022, 07:29 AM
 
50,834 posts, read 36,538,623 times
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Originally Posted by svband76 View Post
A reality because ungrateful children run away from their parents when they need help and want to stay in their home. They're "too busy".
Many times they are. When my mom needed help, I lived 90 minutes away in a 2nd floor, one bedroom apartment and worked full time. I went up and helped her when I could when she was still able to stay there, but after that there was nothing I could do. She stayed with me once for 10 days after discharge from rehab, and we had to hire people while I was at work and overnight (she had to go to the bathroom every 2 hours and I needed to sleep for work) to the tune of about $300/day. We couldn't do that long term. And just getting her up and down the 20-some stairs for doctor appointments was unsafe and took forever.
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Old 10-06-2022, 07:58 AM
 
17,403 posts, read 16,553,894 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by svband76 View Post
A reality because ungrateful children run away from their parents when they need help and want to stay in their home. They're "too busy".
As a parent, myself, I can't imagine expecting my children to drop everything and devote themselves to caring for me.

How does that ever become an expectation? Our kids have their own lives, spouses, children to raise, careers, bills to pay, homes to care for, lawns to mow and their own doctors appts and medical issues.

There are only so many hours in a day and, really, there is a limit to how selfless an adult child can be expected to be.
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Old 10-06-2022, 08:36 AM
 
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I was having breakfast with some older friends - mid 70s and they all basically said that they should start thinking about what they would do when they couldn't get around anymore

Heck I'm ten years younger and already know I am going to an ALF.
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Old 10-06-2022, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
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Originally Posted by svband76 View Post
A reality because ungrateful children run away from their parents when they need help and want to stay in their home. They're "too busy".
That was a random throw-out. On what are you basing this opinion? It's almost as if you haven't bothered to read any of the real-life situations in this thread.
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Old 10-06-2022, 10:15 AM
 
15,984 posts, read 7,044,200 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
That was a random throw-out. On what are you basing this opinion? It's almost as if you haven't bothered to read any of the real-life situations in this thread.
exactly. i know friends who care for aging, aunts as well as those who do for parents in some way or other. i would not want to burden my kids with that but i cannot stop wishing we all lived close by.
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Old 10-06-2022, 10:32 AM
 
12,062 posts, read 10,283,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
exactly. i know friends who care for aging, aunts as well as those who do for parents in some way or other. i would not want to burden my kids with that but i cannot stop wishing we all lived close by.
Even though I plan on living out my life in an ALF or nursing home, I do have nieces and nephews that have told me, they would take care of me. But I'm like my mom - she said put me in the nursing home! She had her friends there. They treated her well.
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Old 10-06-2022, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Was Midvalley Oregon; Now Eastside Seattle area
13,080 posts, read 7,527,706 times
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One of the nice things of LTCi, homecare with visiting caretakers, is the preferred method of care....less expensive than residential.
I won't expect too much out of LTCi,
YMMV
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Old 10-06-2022, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,625 posts, read 84,875,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Even though I plan on living out my life in an ALF or nursing home, I do have nieces and nephews that have told me, they would take care of me. But I'm like my mom - she said put me in the nursing home! She had her friends there. They treated her well.
There were two reputable nursing homes near us, both run by the Dutch Reformed Churches to which my parents and so many of their friends belonged, and many of my mothers friends and cousins had signed over their houses in old age to go live there and be taken care of as they aged. They had different levels of care once you were there, from assisted living to nursing and/or memory care.

When she still could, Mom would visit people there or attend birthday parties, etc., for her friends.

As she headed up toward 90, I asked her one day if she would want to go somewhere like that, and she said, "NO! I hear my friends talking, and it sounds as if everybody is in everybody else's business and gossiping about one another all the time. Besides, the food is so good that everyone put on weight once they got there. I'd rather stay in my own place, even if this house is too big."
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