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She retired from "working in a school." I don't see any posts where she said mom was a teacher. Most teachers, if not all say they were teachers and not working in a school.
She retired from "working in a school." I don't see any posts where she said mom was a teacher. Most teachers, if not all say they were teachers and not working in a school.
What is it OP?
She said she was a special ed teacher in the first post. Later, she added the information about her dad being controlling. She also said that her mother didn't have many outside friends or interests after she married the father. I guess it's ok with him when the mother is with the daughter, but seems to want to know where she goes when she leaves the house and what time she will return. We don't know if the school was a private special ed school (less pay and benefits) or a public school. I wish the OP all the best with this difficult situation.
I personally find it rather strange that the "dad is abusive" story took so long to emerge. I suggested several times that OP seemed worried about the mother, but that additional info took a while to come out. OP did say it was a sudden decision and the mother had no retirement plans, which I found odd, but no one concurred. At any rate, hopefully the mom will have all the myriad opportunities for fun, friends, hobbies, and volunteering that retirees here find so fulfilling, thus avoid the "abusive father," and be just fine. Good luck!
I personally find it rather strange that the "dad is abusive" story took so long to emerge. I suggested several times that OP seemed worried about the mother, but that additional info took a while to come out. OP did say it was a sudden decision and the mother had no retirement plans, which I found odd, but no one concurred. At any rate, hopefully the mom will have all the myriad opportunities for fun, friends, hobbies, and volunteering that retirees here find so fulfilling, thus avoid the "abusive father," and be just fine. Good luck!
I thought the sudden nature of the retirement was odd but others pointed out that being a special needs teacher can be very stressful and physically taxing. Administration changes and new policies can happen suddenly and sometimes it's enough to be the last straw. The cumulative things add up and the employee quits or retires.
The mom doesn't have any retirement plans because she is married to a difficult man who apparently wants to keep her under his thumb. He doesn't sound like a joy to travel with or, really, do anything with. Unless he lightens up this does not bode well for their marriage.
"Retirement plans" don't have to involve the spouse; in fact, I know quite a few married retirees who are ripping and running all day and almost never see their spouses. She still didn't have any and, at last report, "loved her job," so I found the whole story odd. Just me.
"Retirement plans" don't have to involve the spouse; in fact, I know quite a few married retirees who are ripping and running all day and almost never see their spouses. She still didn't have any and, at last report, "loved her job," so I found the whole story odd. Just me.
The Op has said that her dad is very controlling of her mom. She could plan to go to something innocent like a book club at the library and her husband would question her and accuse her of who knows what.
Op has said that just her mom wanting the heat up on a cold day is enough for this guy to berate her.
Every little thing she does is under scrutiny.
Maybe Mom was sincerely more than ready to retire but now that she's home all day the Op can see trouble ahead for her.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,754 posts, read 58,128,451 times
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Quote:
Every little thing she does is under scrutiny.
Maybe Mom was sincerely more than ready to retire but now that she's home all day the Op can see trouble ahead for her.
Maybe Mom has a well planned 'secret plan'!
I wouldn't doubt it.
Hope so.
Good luck to mom.
(The intrigue of murder mysteries, and surprise of great escapes). Thought of such deeds while emptying a pail of waste antifreeze last night. What could be done with this? ()
.. - poof, gone.
She retired from "working in a school." I don't see any posts where she said mom was a teacher. Most teachers, if not all say they were teachers and not working in a school.
Let us be kind to the OP. She did not want to include the dirty laundry of her family (the abusive behavior of the father) and ended up writing the first post that was not accurate. [It is, in any case, immaterial as to what kind of school or teacher the mother was.] We have all obfuscated or hidden the truth sometimes in our lives. Let us give the OP the understanding.
The OP has come back and leveled with us. Of course, it’d have been better had she done it at the beginning but I don’t believe serious harm was done in the process.
I, for one, applaud the OP’s concern for the well being of the mother. I am sure that’ll help the mother in taking whatever course she sees fit.
She said she was a special ed teacher in the first post. Later, she added the information about her dad being controlling. She also said that her mother didn't have many outside friends or interests after she married the father. I guess it's ok with him when the mother is with the daughter, but seems to want to know where she goes when she leaves the house and what time she will return. We don't know if the school was a private special ed school (less pay and benefits) or a public school. I wish the OP all the best with this difficult situation.
I don't see the word "teacher." Lots of people work with special ed kids that aren't teachers, such as aides.
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