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Well, just like the thread says, I am having a hard time coming to terms with retiring. A little background. Catholic school teacher for 23 years and have loved teaching (for the most part) since I got a master's degree in social studies education when my kids were already in school. I had worked most of my career in a blue collar, working class school. The principal was hell on earth but I was well respected and loved by my students and parents. However, the work load was crushing. Eventually, I left and at am at my current school rounding out my career. My former colleague is now my principal and things are as good as they can be. I had already made the decision to retire next year. BUT, I had a pretty bad health scare early in the fall and am now seriously considering leaving at the end of this school year. My husband wants me to go. He had left his job in the fire service 8 years prior because of a health problem, although he has continued to sell real estate for 30 years. He also just recovered from prostate cancer and hopes I will leave this year. My grandkids live about 2 hours away and while they are young, the oldest will be going to kindergarten in another year and a half. Both my adult kids say to follow your heart and understand it is a big decision. Financially, we will be fine even though we would have to pay for our health insurance for six months or so before Medicare kicks in. While that health scare is driving my decision to leave a year earlier, I have to admit that as much as I love to teach the daily grind has been getting to me for sometime. The lesson plans, constant emails, grading, endless meetings, even getting up each day to come in. But I also love to teach and am very well respected at this school as well. Any retired teachers out there who have gone through this? I would love to hear your thoughts and how you reached a decision. I know I am leaving in a year and half regardless but am torn and keeping waffling back and forth. I also know, life is too short and you never know how much time you have left. Yikes!
I should also add that being a teacher has been a source of pride for me. A lot of my identity is tied to my profession and the loss of that status is also a big part of my reluctance to retire.
So don't retire... your second post sure sounds like you want to stay.
I never consider my job to be my identity, and leaving it didn't change my status in society.
How old are you and your husband?
Are there things you want to accomplish before you die?
Get a piece of paper make two columns, one RETIRE one WORK write down the pros and cons of each. That may help. No one can decide this for you. Good luck.
Not a teacher but you sound like you still enjoy doing something professional. I'm almost 60 and I really enjoy my job and the meaning and purpose of it. I've been doing it since my late 20s. I take pride in it. Other things about the job are getting to me: commute, the "grind" of day in day out, changing of bosses--some are good some are bad. I try to put all that aside and think about how I will feel with the "good" parts just GONE. I need to figure it out also. I'm not the type to putter around.
I think it's really good that your husband has real estate to dabble in. Many of us need something like that. I don't have an answer for you unfortunately.
I can sure relate OP. I also worked at what really was more of a vocation than a job. My commitment to the purpose was very difficult to lay aside and I did feel disloyal. Struggled with that plus guilt and kept putting off the decision. Finally, the increasingly annoying bureaucratic minutia and a change in upper level management politics broke the camel's back to the point I needed to retire from it. In the end, I found a way not to walk away from it completely. I just changed the nature of my involvement. Instead of it being my source of financial support, I found a volunteer-based NGO and offered my time, energy, and expertise instead. I was able to "work" more on my terms and less on theirs. The volunteer work is satisfying, just in a different way. It isn't as soul sapping. Maybe that would help you flip the switch too.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-18-2023 at 01:03 PM..
I'm also waffling back and forth about retiring in Feb. Unlike you, I dislike what my Govt. job has morphed into and desperately want to leave it, but another year of income (where I recently got a substantial raise in pay) and waiting another year to start SS & pension would be helpful to beef up my retirement income to a more comfortable level. The pull of more money is a strong influencer. Continuing working also provides free healthcare and life insurance - something I've enjoyed my entire working life. I'll have to start paying Medicare Pt. B at the very least when I retire.
And speaking of Medicare I also can't decide which kind of insurance to get when I retire - the employer's retiree insurance (which isn't that great - either a free Advantage PPO or inadequate, expensive secondary insurance) or go out on my own with Original Medicare + Supplement + Pt. D RX, which will cost me a lot more, but is clearly the better insurance choice. What to do??
I go back and forth on all of this - whether to retire or wait, which insurance, stay or move, the list goes on and on. At least if I keep working, I can stay in my safe, dreary, mind-numbing job cocoon where I know the drill down to every waking moment. But the thought of continuing this existence for another year is literally sickening.
As another person said, it's a very individual decision because no two retirements are alike, so many factors to take into consideration. So I think you're very normal to be in a state of indecision, but no one can tell you what to do, or me for that matter, though I really wish someone would just say "do X and it will all be okay."
I think I'm suffering from OMY syndrome - "Just one more year and then you'll be happy..."
Prostate cancer is a killer. You should retire and spend as much time with your husband as you are able to and make some last memories with him with your families. Your husband's wishes need to be prioritized now. He obviously spent a chunk of his life saving lives and you need to show up for him now.
Teaching will always be there for you in one form or another. When your husband is gone you can find another way to get back into it if that is what you want to do.
I think you need to snap out of this self-absorption.
If you have qualms about retiring then you are not ready to retire.
IMHO retirement is something you look forward to. If you are dreading it then don't do it.
I retired at 55. At 54 I was like "only 1 more year, only 1 more year" and put a countdown app on my desktop
My friend put that countdown app on her phone and she still has 13 years -- LOL
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