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Have my advance directives on my refrigerator along with dog sitter name and number, lawyer/executor and phone lock number.
That's a very good notion. It reminds me of a "lesson" I learned from the TV show Adderly where Adderly arrives at the apartment of a woman who made an inquiry to his intelligence agency. He finds a young man there who tells V.H. that she died last night and he was waiting for the police to release her papers so he could inform her friends.
Okay, that was not what was really going on, but it sounded like a good notion to me, to have my address book so available so if something happened to me, they could be informed. Mom had something similar in her file cabinet called the "Doomsday File" with the directives, links.
UNFORTUNATELY, for all our best laid plans, will they work? I have told my older Brother about my address books, my Christmas card list so people could be informed and his response? "I will just look for the check books to know what banks to go to.".
To which, finally, there is that other side of the coin. To the potential heirs, it may seem like a joke to them to be constantly joking about one's money, but say it enough and the will writer may develop serious doubts about the heir's personality (that Brother is the kind, considerate one but when he talks like that.....)................and may not be so ready to leave "it all" to them. At the very least, when such attitudes are displayed, the will writer may not go out of their way to make it easy for the heirs.
My parents were divorced in the 1970s. In the 1980s and 1990s, every time I visited my father, he insisted on showing me where he kept his firearms and all his papers.
He was terribly afraid that when he died distant cousins would show up and carry everything away.
So it was important to him that I show up as soon as possible to take his firearms and papers.
He died around 2010, and by that time he had remarried. He had no will because he did not trust lawyers. His new wife took everything. When I showed up for his funeral, all of my father's assets had been liquidated and deposited in her name. So I did not say a word.
Simplest solution for leaving money is to name a beneficiary on your bank accounts, you mentioned credit union is where you keep your money. If you have several beneficiaries (people or non-profits) you can open individual accounts in your own name and have different beneficiaries.
Would I name the lawyer as executor? No, because without someone overseeing them they might not be better than an outsider. Saw it happen with a relatives estate, lawyer charged huge amount as executor. Why? Because he could.
A) My wife and I both attended Catholic high schools, and they are named in our wills. I don't see how we could name an "entity", such as "XYZ Academy' as a beneficiary, or co-owner of our bank accounts. If for no other reason, someone would have to notify the school that we died, and then the school would have to withdraw the funds. Over time, administrators in schools move on to other schools or simply die. How would you account for that?
B) With respect to our attorney being the executor, first of all my wife and I are listed as each other's executor. Our attorney only steps in if, by some twist of fate, we both die at the same time, then in all honesty, who cares what she does? It's on her conscience to do what's right, and we assume that she'll be honest about things. But in all reality what difference will it make to us. as we'll be gone? Secondly, if it comes to that, she'll earn her fees, as we have a house, furnishings, automobiles, as well as a lot of "stuff" that will have to be dealt with...
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Originally Posted by brightdoglover
Almost 71, in generally good health.
Us, too..... 71 and 73, respectively, and both in good health.
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Originally Posted by Submariner
My parents were divorced in the 1970s. In the 1980s and 1990s, every time I visited my father, he insisted on showing me where he kept his firearms and all his papers.
He was terribly afraid that when he died distant cousins would show up and carry everything away.
So it was important to him that I show up as soon as possible to take his firearms and papers.
He died around 2010, and by that time he had remarried. He had no will because he did not trust lawyers. His new wife took everything. When I showed up for his funeral, all of my father's assets had been liquidated and deposited in her name. So I did not say a word.
That makes sense; thanks for the info. I try not to compare; but, since I am not quite ready to put instructions on my freezer I was wondering if there was an age difference. I am sure I am getting there. I actually gave a copy of my will to my executor and have had a few conversations. I have my cats covered (I need to write instructions and carve out a piece of money that goes with them). The calculation changes when my 17 year old cat passes (which seemed soon this last year; but, she's rallied).
Even with everything set up paperwork and people/charity wise I still see the point of the Note On The Refrigerator (soonish).
I had a psychic tell me I'd make it to 80. I said "that's an awfully round number" to which she replied "plus or minus 3 years." So, that has kind of encouraged and haunted me ever since (which was about 15 years ago).
That makes sense; thanks for the info. I try not to compare; but, since I am not quite ready to put instructions on my freezer I was wondering if there was an age difference. I am sure I am getting there. I actually gave a copy of my will to my executor and have had a few conversations. I have my cats covered (I need to write instructions and carve out a piece of money that goes with them). The calculation changes when my 17 year old cat passes (which seemed soon this last year; but, she's rallied).
Even with everything set up paperwork and people/charity wise I still see the point of the Note On The Refrigerator (soonish).
I had a psychic tell me I'd make it to 80. I said "that's an awfully round number" to which she replied "plus or minus 3 years." So, that has kind of encouraged and haunted me ever since (which was about 15 years ago).
Interesting. My psychic said, "You will never get dementia". Is that because I won't live long enough to get there?
My sister had my astrological chart done forty years ago. It said I would be alert and conscious right up to my very last living moments. Sounds like a bullet, or a big truck.
I also did a couple of those Internet life expectancy quizzes. One said 84, one said 87.
Sometimes that Green Mile seems so long...but I did my will this year. Unlike the OP, I have one adult child, so it was easier. Siblings as backup.
When my father was growing up [1920s and 1930s] he saw many times that when someone died distant relatives would show up and strip the house of valuables, before the will was read. The immediate family had to be armed and needed to pay close attention or else everything would be gone if they blinked.
He was very careful, that his name should be my name. And everything he owned was in his/my name, so fo example his cars were already in my name. I could just grab them and drive away. As any policeman could verify that the registration was already in my name.
In his day, to have the first name of 'Gay' was accepted and only meant happy. They had no idea that someday 'Gay' might come to mean something else entirely.
Living through the Dust Bowl, Great Depression and FDR's Banking Holiday made him rightfully scared of banks and lawyers. He refused to have assets in anything that required a SSN attached.
Five years after my father died, his last wife died, and I got a $500 check in the mail.
One of her sons was her executor, and when he wrote out the check, he was concerned about using my first name. So he wrote the check to me using my middle name. Even when your first name is 'Gay' people are afraid to use such a name in public.
My parents were divorced in the 1970s. In the 1980s and 1990s, every time I visited my father, he insisted on showing me where he kept his firearms and all his papers.
He was terribly afraid that when he died distant cousins would show up and carry everything away.
So it was important to him that I show up as soon as possible to take his firearms and papers.
He died around 2010, and by that time he had remarried. He had no will because he did not trust lawyers. His new wife took everything. When I showed up for his funeral, all of my father's assets had been liquidated and deposited in her name. So I did not say a word.
Stories like this are why I believe that if you want someone to have something of yours, you should give it to them... and not hang onto it until you die.
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