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It starts with being helpful….THEN…it ends up being taken advantage of .
I have helped a couple of fairly new friends with driving them to their doctor appts (80 mile round trips for each). They buy me lunch but with the skyrocketing of gasoline, I AM IN THE HOLE. Not to mention the time away from my day.
I am contemplating telling them to fill up their cars and I will drive them in their car to appointments. Neither have offered some gas money.
I am wondering if there would be some kind of taxi service in your area to take people to doctor appointments and other venues, such as grocery shopping. If you don't know, perhaps you could call your town office and ask.
[We have such a service in our county, although that might be because our county doesn't have the kind of bus and taxi service found in large cities, so it is partially funded with grants from various agencies and non-profit organizations. It operates just like a taxi service, meaning that it is a one-on-one service, meaning that you don't share your ride and you must call ahead for an appointment. Also, the prices range from just $4.00 to $15.00 one way, but this is actually a bargain for seniors who don't need such a service very often. For example, for us to go to the closest large town for weekly grocery shopping would be just $20 round trip -- which means the monthly expense would be much cheaper than the expense of a car. (My husband had to use it to drop off and pick up our car when it required a multi-day repair, and it was great.)]
Excellent solution. And if they ask why, it's the perfect opportunity to tell them the gas cost for their trip. Either they'll pay you for gas, or take you to better restaurants!
They should do both -- pay for the gasoline and take her to lunch as a thank you for her driving time and dependability.
I am wondering if there would be some kind of taxi service in your area to take people to doctor appointments and other venues, such as grocery shopping. If you don't know, perhaps you could call your town office and ask.
[We have such a service in our county, although that might be because our county doesn't have the kind of bus and taxi service found in large cities, so it is partially funded with grants from various agencies and non-profit organizations. It operates just like a taxi service, meaning that it is a one-on-one service, meaning that you don't share your ride and you must call ahead for an appointment. Also, the prices range from just $4.00 to $15.00 one way, but this is actually a bargain for seniors who don't need such a service very often. For example, for us to go to the closest large town for weekly grocery shopping would be just $20 round trip -- which means the monthly expense would be much cheaper than the expense of a car. (My husband had to use it to drop off and pick up our car when it required a multi-day repair, and it was great.)]
It should be available everywhere, it is called Para-transit & a requirement of the ADA.
It should be available everywhere, it is called Para-transit & a requirement of the ADA.
Yes, but it is not for all seniors, just for disabled ones.
And not quite "everywhere".
In my county, which doesn't have much in the way of public transportation, paratransit service is provided to individuals certified as eligible, from origins and destination within 3/4-mile corridors of existing bus routes.
Do this! I befriended 2 older ladies separately in my retired life who had children that lived out of town. I started off driving my own car and they would buy me lunch same day. But once it became a fairly regular occurrence, of which I didn't mind because I was retired, I did say I would continue but I wanted to use their vehicle. It worked out, both didn't have a problem with it.
So glad that it worked out! I will bring it up. Thank you!
[quote=Serious Conversation;66678929]There may be very good reasons why the son doesn't have much to do with the mom.[/QUOTE
Well...OP did say she's a pleasant lady and they enjoy her friendship. So maybe not.
OP IMO, you seem to want to be helpful, and you are a blessing to this woman. I appreciate your kindness FOR her. LOL
Maybe if you could extend yourself a little bit now, it would pay off in the future that she would have more independence and less reliance on you.
Like helping her set up online shopping and delivery, lawn care...and heck, a stair lift to get up and down her stairs. It sounds like she has the money.
And maybe help her find out what senior services are available in your area.
UPDATE: I had a talk with my friend a few days ago. I gave her the two options for a ride. She chose compensating me by paying what the gas cost ME to drive her to her appts. AND she paid for lunch. So, I was happy with the deal. I AM concerned that the frequency of “rides” may increase into other errands besides dr appts. I do not want turn into a taxi. And, I don’t want to keep piling miles onto my car. Also, I don’t want give up my free time…retired. We shall see.
UPDATE: I had a talk with my friend a few days ago. I gave her the two options for a ride. She chose compensating me by paying what the gas cost ME to drive her to her appts. AND she paid for lunch. So, I was happy with the deal. I AM concerned that the frequency of “rides” may increase into other errands besides dr appts. I do not want turn into a taxi. And, I don’t want to keep piling miles onto my car. Also, I don’t want give up my free time…retired. We shall see.
It can be very time consuming - doctor, dental, eye appts, occasional trips to Urgent Care, picking up prescriptions, grocery shopping, trips to the bank, etc.
Your friend might want to look at moving to a senior apartment that offers shuttle service. You could then act as a backup ride.
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