Need advice from Retirees and Seniors (state, teach, city, income)
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A lot of people that were married in the past few decades don’t have their own set of china, so we only have the stuff we inherited. My mom’s set was used less than once a year. I took note and didn’t get my own. I now have inherited two sets of china and am scared to use them.
It can be a good idea to go ahead and pass down heirlooms to your kids once they’re established in their own places.
Do your kids have any memories of their own of that china? Is it important to them to have it?
A lot of people that were married in the past few decades don’t have their own set of china, so we only have the stuff we inherited. My mom’s set was used less than once a year. I took note and didn’t get my own. I now have inherited two sets of china and am scared to use them.
It can be a good idea to go ahead and pass down heirlooms to your kids once they’re established in their own places.
Years ago I inherited my grandmother’s sterling silver. I never used it. I intended to give it (or will it) to my niece (her great-granddaughter, who she never knew) then I looked at her millennial lifestyle and knew she would never use it, either. I sold it and invested the proceeds towards my retirement.
Years ago I inherited my grandmother’s sterling silver. I never used it. I intended to give it (or will it) to my niece (her great-granddaughter, who she never knew) then I looked at her millennial lifestyle and knew she would never use it, either. I sold it and invested the proceeds towards my retirement.
We've got 3 boxes of the stuff. We only use one of them. The other two we had stored away and literally forgot that we had them. I literally can't remember which set came from which relative.
Do your kids have any memories of their own of that china? Is it important to them to have it?
I want to give them the option once they’re launched. They’re college and younger, so I don’t know yet who will want it. However, if they’re all 30 or older and nobody wants it, I’ll either give things to a nephew or niece or donate. I don’t have a lot of personal belongings and am not really a “stuff” person.
I know this is an old thread--but yet it's a common problem.
There should be a service that carefully culls enough "stuff" from an elder's home and leaves them with a "starter kit" of household goods that will fit their new habitat.
This service could come in after the children and grandchildren (if any) of the elders get to pick and choose what they want (if anything) from their elders stuff--and remove. Set a date for them to do this and then call the service.
It's just too overwhelming for many elders to try to downsize many years worth of goods--especially if there are any hoarding tendencies or inherited generational things with memories attached.
There are services like that, too bad they aren't available in all areas.
Having a professional go in with an unbiased eye would really help to facilitate the process.
I want to give them the option once they’re launched. They’re college and younger, so I don’t know yet who will want it. However, if they’re all 30 or older and nobody wants it, I’ll either give things to a nephew or niece or donate. I don’t have a lot of personal belongings and am not really a “stuff” person.
Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable approach. I would say that having a box or two of china that you plan to offer to a younger relative one day is fine. Having boxes upon boxes of china, flatware, stemware, knick knacks, collectibles, etc that would require a decent sized U-haul to haul away is quite a different thing entirely.
I don’t personally know this company, but Dr Phil endorsed it, and I think there are others….
Sundae.com
Their typical customer is a retired person who wants to sell their house, but can’t face the prospect of clean out, or the repairs that might be necessary first.
The client takes what they want from the house, Sundae buys the house and contents for a price that the seller agrees to. The couple on Dr Phil received more than they thought they would get for their house.
Sundae disposes of the contents of the house, makes necessary repairs and sells the house.
My parents are 70 and 73 and in average health. They currently live in Texas in a big old house with 5 acres to take care of. They have expressed interest several times in moving "somewhere" into "something" smaller so they will have time and money left to enjoy life a little more. All they do now is work on the place just trying to keep everything up and they complain about it all the time. I live in Atlanta and I go down a couple of times a year to overhall flowerbeds etc. but that doesn't help enough. I desperately want them to have a better quality of life and they seem to want that also until it comes down to the nuts and bolts of getting rid of most of their stuff and selling the house. The job just seems so overwhelming to them they eventually just quit talking about it until the exhaustion and frustration builds up and the downsizing idea comes up again. Also, my dad is a "stuff" person and the idea of parting with ANYTHING is very traumatic for him. I have offered to find them a place close to me or anywhere else for that matter and go home for 4 or 5 months to help them get everything ready but they still are overwhelmed and don't know what to do. One day they want to do it and the next they panic and don't want to.
I am afraid of what will happen as they get older and are "forced" to leave. (two foot surgeries and a pacemaker already this year) I just don't know what to do to help and I don't want to see them be miserable for however many years they have left.
Does anyone have any advice or experience with this? Are most people who move and downsize happy with the decision or do they miss "home" and regret it? I certainly don't want to push them into something they don't want but most of the time when we talk about it THEY bring it up. HELP!!
Trying to be a good daughter.....
I get the hanging on to stuff issue. It is something I have a problem with, though I have been getting rid of stuff off and on for a few years and once I retire next month my plan is to take one room at a time and go through everything while I still can.
Could you help them by convincing them to rent a storage unit to put the stuff your dad is attached to that he doesn't use, to get a better handle on what they really want to move. He still has his stuff but it isn't keeping him from packing up and selling the house and getting a smaller property. Then as time goes by, the stuff in storage can be gone through with or without him until you can move to a smaller storage unit or get rid of it all together. After the move take him to the storage unit once a month to pick one thing to let go of. Talk about how he feels about that one thing, find out why he has that anxiety of getting rid of stuff. That is what it is, anxiety.
Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable approach. I would say that having a box or two of china that you plan to offer to a younger relative one day is fine. Having boxes upon boxes of china, flatware, stemware, knick knacks, collectibles, etc that would require a decent sized U-haul to haul away is quite a different thing entirely.
Definitely call one of the donation centers and schedule a pickup. My mom did that on a fairly regular basis. It didn't instantly clear out her house but it made a huge difference over time - a few boxes here, a few boxes there, an unused chair or couch, etc. It adds up.
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I acted on your advice and went online to try and find a place that would pick up. Nope. I guess our town is a bit too small. I'm going to keep trying, but in the meantime I have started acting on my own advice and have 1 bag and 2 boxes of miscl. packed. We are going to take them to a secondhand store that takes donations tomorrow. I will keep on with this now that I realize no one else is going to help me.
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