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Old 06-12-2008, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
3 posts, read 10,310 times
Reputation: 11

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My dilemma: I've been stuck in Massachusetts for what seems like an eternity. Moved here from the midwest with high hopes which were quicky ground into dust, and have been just pushing a boulder endlessly uphill (psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, financially) for the last 5 years. But now there's hope: despite being an administrative assistant living from paycheck to paycheck, I now have enough money to blow this pop stand! But because I only have enough to make ONE GOOD MOVE, I have to make the best decision I can. No telling how long I will be stuck in the next place if it doesn't work out.

Since Providence is so close, and I would be able to get a job there before moving (my other options necessitate moving cold, probably without ready employment or a place to stay), I'd like to know what I may be getting myself into before it's too late. (Wish I had done this before I moved to Mass.) Can anyone out there give me their perceptions of Providence, and Rhode Island in general, as a home?

If so, here are some of the specific questions/issues I have regarding contrast/similarity with Mass:

The people here strike me as aloof, unfriendly, clannish, inconsiderate, rude and sometimes outright hostile. Wound way too tight! I've never experienced so many slights, snubs, and freezing stares. Please, excuse me and thank you are apparently foreign phrases, neither used nor acknowledged. It's like being in a perpetual 5th grade nightmare of ill-mannered brats and your only defense is staying out of their way as much as possible. I know that Rhode Island has a history of people fleeing there from the puritanical meanness of the Massachusetts Bay Colony -- maybe this will work for me, too! So what are the people like?

In this vein, if females have any perceptions of the men in Rhode Island, please feel free to praise or vent! I am apparently doomed to perpetual solitude and celibacy as long as I live here. My frustrated sex drive is one of the motivating forces for propelling me out of a place where I couldn't get any attention from a living man if I staked myself out naked on the main street! They would probably only be annoyed that they had to step over me. Are men in Rhode Island friskier or, like men here, do you have to put a mirror to their lips to see if they're even breathing?

Finally, what about employment, housing and safety? I could theoretically keep my job in Boston and commute, but am not happy with the prospect. I know times are hard everywhere, but how bad is it in RI? Is housing any better than it is here, where I have the pleasure of paying twice as much for an apartment of equal decrepitude as I would in my native midwest? And what about crime and the general sense of safety? I live in an affluent town north of Boston where people leave their doors and cars unlocked (except for me), and hear horror stories about Providence and other towns in RI. True, or just ugly rumor?

Sorry this post is so long, but wanted to give a sense of what I'm trying to escape up here. I didn't want to up and move 1000-3000 miles away (my other options) when the possibility exists that a short hop of 60-100 miles might be enough to shift the negative slant of my environment. The few times I have been south, I have enjoyed the relatively open space and the expanse of forest and ocean which are lacking up here. I'm going to explore some more, but nothing beats hearing real people talk about their real lives in a place you're interested in moving. I'd like to hear from both natives and transplants if possible.

Thanks for any help anyone out there can give me!
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Old 06-12-2008, 09:17 AM
 
Location: virginia
67 posts, read 255,024 times
Reputation: 38
Default wow!

i really feel your pain, i know what it's like to feel like you're paying too much to live in a place you don't like, so forgive me for being amused about the man thing. hooo that was funny, well, regarding that, i never had a problem finding men in ri, in fact i found my husband there and we ran off into the sunset never to return. except now we're thinking about returning, so i'm kind of in the same boat as you.
i will let better qualified people on this forum respond to your questions about quality of life in providence, i grew up in the state but haven't lived there for about 14 years. so i will give you a little heads up on the moving south part (i'm in virginia). If you want to live along the coast, there is not really any more open space than there is up there, you could move inland and get more space and it's cheaper, but unless you live near a city inland, expect a serious culture shock, (which may be what you are looking for ?) totally different. The country here is serious Country!!! It's not just people moving 20 miles west and building a house, it's real! I've never really been to the midwest but it's very different down here than new england. some good ways, some bad, I feel that it lacks character here, too many master planned communities, chain restaurants, and the food doesn't hold a candle to up north. but! on the plus side - it's cheaper, the whole cost of living, houses may be around the same purchase price along the coast, but the taxes are way less, and they manage to do a lot more with them (huh, go figure). but inland, again, house prices will be less too. and there are some beautiful spots, hills, mountains, it just has a completely different feel from the "country" in new england. People are also pretty nice here, and the beaches are great. it's a tough decision, we have family up north so if we do decide to move back up that way, at least we have that. so i wish you the best of luck!!
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Old 06-12-2008, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Rhode Island
688 posts, read 2,056,203 times
Reputation: 332
I won't be able to tell you much about the existing or nonexisting qualities of the male population of Providence. Generally speaking though the people in Rhode Island always seemed to be fairly reasonable human beings. They're family oriented and somewhat close knit which might make it difficult for strangers to establish friendships or relationships. It's really difficult to give a general impression of an entire populace. I think you could do worse when it comes to people but you can probably do better somewhere. Maybe. Who knows!

Now, talking about quality of life in Rhode Island, cost of living and all of that...it's expensive and I would say it's overpriced. While the market doesn't seem to be quite as overinflated as in Mass you'll still be paying a lot of money for rent etc. I gather from your post that you aren't the richest person in the country and I think you'll find it hard to make a living in Rhode Island when your budget's small. The state does have a lot to offer but most of those things come with a pricetag.

Concerning safety issues that depends a lot on where you choose to live. I lived in the East Bay area for a couple of years and I always felt quite safe there. These days I live in Downtown Providence and I wish I'd be back in Warren or Bristol. If you live in the city you'll have to be prepared to deal with a tougher crowd. That's not just as Providence issue though. It's a bigger city and there'll be more crime and stranger people walking the streets at night. I'd still say that even Providence is a fairly safe town if you stay away from the sketchy neighborhoods.

Finally...employment...the job market in Rhode Island is abysmal. The state isn't in good shape. If you're working in the healthcare industry or in the educational field or maybe in a law related business you might find your job prospects to be better. Otherwise, be prepared for a lot of competition and don't forget that the saying goes "In Rhode Island, it's not who you blow, it's who you know." Pardon my French.

To wrap this up, I'd think twice about moving to Rhode Island from Mass. I doubt it'll do you much good or that the change would be what you're looking for. I'd explore other options even if they seem to be more of a hassle.

Good luck.
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Old 06-12-2008, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Tolland County- Northeastern CT
4,461 posts, read 7,292,127 times
Reputation: 1237
Try the greater Hartford CT area- lower housing prices and some very attractive towns to live. Its New England for sure- but a viable alternative.
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Old 06-12-2008, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Rhode Island
8,497 posts, read 13,400,013 times
Reputation: 8998
"The people here strike me as aloof, unfriendly, clannish, inconsiderate, rude and sometimes outright hostile. Wound way too tight! I've never experienced so many slights, snubs, and freezing stares. Please, excuse me and thank you are apparently foreign phrases, neither used nor acknowledged. It's like being in a perpetual 5th grade nightmare of ill-mannered brats and your only defense is staying out of their way as much as possible. I know that Rhode Island has a history of people fleeing there from the puritanical meanness of the Massachusetts Bay Colony -- maybe this will work for me, too! So what are the people like?"

Your comments about Massachusetts people lead me to believe that you would not be happy anywhere else in New England. Your commentary is sort of odd to me since I don't experience Massachusetts people in this way at all!! I suggest you move down south- maybe to a growing labor market like parts of Florida or Texas.
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Old 06-14-2008, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,895,877 times
Reputation: 3068
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollytree View Post
I suggest you move down south- maybe to a growing labor market like parts of Florida or Texas.
I concur. There are differences between Boston and Providence, but it's not that much different. I don't think moving to Prov. would really change things for you all that much.

I'll tell you a place that sounds like it would be perfect for you is Austin, Texas. Austin is growing, welcoming of newcomers, fun--I can't think of a better place in the U.S. to make a new start. Definitely check it out.
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Old 06-14-2008, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Norman, OK
3,479 posts, read 6,893,022 times
Reputation: 1198
Quote:
Originally Posted by skytrekker View Post
Try the greater Hartford CT area- lower housing prices and some very attractive towns to live. Its New England for sure- but a viable alternative.
As a New Englander born and raised, the Hartford metro area is UGLY, does not resemble New England-type towns you find on the eastern shore of MA and also on the RI coast, and plus - the area is quite crime-ridden.

Stay out of Hartford, IMO.
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Old 06-15-2008, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Tolland County- Northeastern CT
4,461 posts, read 7,292,127 times
Reputation: 1237
Quote:
Originally Posted by wxjay View Post
As a New Englander born and raised, the Hartford metro area is UGLY, does not resemble New England-type towns you find on the eastern shore of MA and also on the RI coast, and plus - the area is quite crime-ridden.

Stay out of Hartford, IMO.
The Hartford area ugly? C'mon. Glastonbury, South Windsor, Wethersfield, Rocky Hill, Avon, West Hartford, Simsbury, Canton. Some of the most attractive suburbs in the nation- with a quality of life that is unsurpassed.

Try also Coventry, Somers, Ellington, Vernon, Bolton. Ugly? Please. You will not see better places to live in New England, or nationally.
Crime ridden? The Hartford suburbs rank way below the national average for crime-just check the towns I have named at City data.

South Windsor crime rate 100- national average 323
Glastonbury 70
Wethersfield 153
Rocky Hill 165
West Hartford 167
Vernon 130


With crime rates half the national average or less- its silly to say the area is crime ridden.

Last edited by skytrekker; 06-15-2008 at 12:36 PM..
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Old 06-15-2008, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Crab Key
179 posts, read 1,177,314 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
My dilemma: I've been stuck in Massachusetts for what seems like an eternity. Moved here from the midwest with high hopes which were quicky ground into dust, and have been just pushing a boulder endlessly uphill (psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, financially) for the last 5 years. But now there's hope: despite being an administrative assistant living from paycheck to paycheck, I now have enough money to blow this pop stand! But because I only have enough to make ONE GOOD MOVE, I have to make the best decision I can. No telling how long I will be stuck in the next place if it doesn't work out.
If you have one good move, I would not move to RI. The jobs here are lower paying than Boston (an administrative assistant would definitely make less), and it's not that different

Quote:
Since Providence is so close, and I would be able to get a job there before moving (my other options necessitate moving cold, probably without ready employment or a place to stay), I'd like to know what I may be getting myself into before it's too late. (Wish I had done this before I moved to Mass.) Can anyone out there give me their perceptions of Providence, and Rhode Island in general, as a home?
RI is definitely more family oriented, and i feel that the people here are friendlier, and you will not get the cold business-type as much here...however, it isn't THAT different

Quote:
The people here strike me as aloof, unfriendly, clannish, inconsiderate, rude and sometimes outright hostile. Wound way too tight! I've never experienced so many slights, snubs, and freezing stares. Please, excuse me and thank you are apparently foreign phrases, neither used nor acknowledged. It's like being in a perpetual 5th grade nightmare of ill-mannered brats and your only defense is staying out of their way as much as possible. I know that Rhode Island has a history of people fleeing there from the puritanical meanness of the Massachusetts Bay Colony -- maybe this will work for me, too! So what are the people like?
People in RI definitely aren't like that, but I didn't see people from Boston as like that either....

Quote:
In this vein, if females have any perceptions of the men in Rhode Island, please feel free to praise or vent! I am apparently doomed to perpetual solitude and celibacy as long as I live here. My frustrated sex drive is one of the motivating forces for propelling me out of a place where I couldn't get any attention from a living man if I staked myself out naked on the main street! They would probably only be annoyed that they had to step over me. Are men in Rhode Island friskier or, like men here, do you have to put a mirror to their lips to see if they're even breathing?
RI guys are still New Englanders, but they are probably more "country" and less business-like or cold than Boston guys. I think the guys here are nicer but probably not as rich (haha)...however there's a lot more places to meet guys in Boston. There are just more single people in general there, and more bars, nightclubs, social events....etc. Here it's more family oriented

Quote:
Finally, what about employment, housing and safety? I could theoretically keep my job in Boston and commute, but am not happy with the prospect. I know times are hard everywhere, but how bad is it in RI? Is housing any better than it is here, where I have the pleasure of paying twice as much for an apartment of equal decrepitude as I would in my native midwest? And what about crime and the general sense of safety? I live in an affluent town north of Boston where people leave their doors and cars unlocked (except for me), and hear horror stories about Providence and other towns in RI. True, or just ugly rumor?
Housing is expensive here too...and there is less apartments than in MA, so you will have less options. Taxes here are higher than MA.

RI is very safe. Even Providence is safe...if you check out the crime statistics there are only a few murders in Provy and there aren't any in the suburbs.

I am sure you could find a job here, but it will not be as high paying as Boston, you'll be fine though in that regard

Quote:
Sorry this post is so long, but wanted to give a sense of what I'm trying to escape up here. I didn't want to up and move 1000-3000 miles away (my other options) when the possibility exists that a short hop of 60-100 miles might be enough to shift the negative slant of my environment. The few times I have been south, I have enjoyed the relatively open space and the expanse of forest and ocean which are lacking up here. I'm going to explore some more, but nothing beats hearing real people talk about their real lives in a place you're interested in moving. I'd like to hear from both natives and transplants if possible.

Thanks for any help anyone out there can give me!
I don't know why you left the Midwest, but I don't think RI is that different than Massachusetts. If you want to go someplace like the Midwest...well the Midwest is a big place. How about moving somewhere there? RI has the country feel but it is still New England so it isn't going to feel that different from MA.
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Old 06-15-2008, 05:16 PM
 
Location: O-Town
1,781 posts, read 6,714,260 times
Reputation: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by skytrekker View Post
The Hartford area ugly? C'mon. Glastonbury, South Windsor, Wethersfield, Rocky Hill, Avon, West Hartford, Simsbury, Canton. Some of the most attractive suburbs in the nation- with a quality of life that is unsurpassed.

Try also Coventry, Somers, Ellington, Vernon, Bolton. Ugly? Please. You will not see better places to live in New England, or nationally.
Crime ridden? The Hartford suburbs rank way below the national average for crime-just check the towns I have named at City data.

South Windsor crime rate 100- national average 323
Glastonbury 70
Wethersfield 153
Rocky Hill 165
West Hartford 167
Vernon 130


With crime rates half the national average or less- its silly to say the area is crime ridden.

I think this is the exact reason the op wants out you sound a bit snooty about where you live don`t ya think?
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