richmond dating sucks for young single professionals (live, housing)

[rvasonicbloom]

Originally Posted by allim79

dukie46,
Wondering if you got moved to Richmond? I am a 31 F and I just moved this past weekend.

Where are you living in Richmond?

[jzcrandall]

Let me weigh in on this. I am a 32-year-old male who's lived in Richmond for ten years. I am engaged to the most amazing woman. Why do I think she's amazing? It may have to do with the fact she wasn't born here. Let me get back on topic. I moved to Richmond in 99, and I met my ex-wife after only being in town a couple of months. We were together five years before I left her and got a divorce, which is when I got to experience the singles scene in Richmond for the first time. Since I met her upon first arriving in Richmond, most of my friends were hers, as she blocked people out of my life, so when I left her I was starting from scratch. Since I was a senior at VCU, I moved in with two other students in the Fan. I went to several parties and hooked up with quite a few women, I never developed a relationship with any of them. I had a couple of girlfriends before going into a three-year dry relationship spell (any intimacy came in the form of hook-ups and FWB's). As it was, the girlfriend I had after those three years was in New York. I left Richmond in summer of 09, and had a girlfriend and other romantic interests while living in Syracuse. I had a friend in Richmond in which nothing ever formulated, and then later she got engaged. After I was forced to move to Florida I met her as I was passing through Richmond; funny thing is I was planning on taking 81 south into NC to get to Florida, but my old friends wanted me to pay them a visit. I meet up with her, and things go really well. We keep talking and decide to give a long-distance thing a try. This past Labor Day I went up to see her again, and I proposed to her during the Jimmy Buffett concert. After talking about it, we decided that it is best that I move back to Richmond.

So that's my story, which I know I deviated from the topic. I basically met two times of women: smart, funny, well-rounded woman that would fall off the face of the earth after one date, or crazy women that wanted to marry me after only knowing me for five minutes. This is my philosophy on love - true love is like a lost set of keys or a lost cell phone: it will show up when you least expect it to. My advice to you is to not worry so much about finding someone and enjoy yourself; that special someone is out there, and you'll find them.

[RichmondGuy]

I'll second that thing about the quality girls we tend to meet becoming really flighty and just disappearing after one date. I haven't met the hysterical types ready to get married yet though; but I wish I'd run into a few of them because I'm getting up there in age as well (will be 29 this Jan) so I suppose I need to be looking in that direction. Oh and my dating dry spell has been over six years, which has been my entire time in Richmond, with an occasional fling lasting no more than 6 months. So there are worse stories out there. I'd like to get out of here but I'm not sure how economically feasible that really is in this economy. Don't companies in bigger cities just want to consider their local candidates?

[mrstewart]

Originally Posted by jzcrandall

Let me weigh in on this. I am a 32-year-old male who's lived in Richmond for ten years. I am engaged to the most amazing woman. Why do I think she's amazing? It may have to do with the fact she wasn't born here. Let me get back on topic. I moved to Richmond in 99, and I met my ex-wife after only being in town a couple of months. We were together five years before I left her and got a divorce, which is when I got to experience the singles scene in Richmond for the first time. Since I met her upon first arriving in Richmond, most of my friends were hers, as she blocked people out of my life, so when I left her I was starting from scratch. Since I was a senior at VCU, I moved in with two other students in the Fan. I went to several parties and hooked up with quite a few women, I never developed a relationship with any of them. I had a couple of girlfriends before going into a three-year dry relationship spell (any intimacy came in the form of hook-ups and FWB's). As it was, the girlfriend I had after those three years was in New York. I left Richmond in summer of 09, and had a girlfriend and other romantic interests while living in Syracuse. I had a friend in Richmond in which nothing ever formulated, and then later she got engaged. After I was forced to move to Florida I met her as I was passing through Richmond; funny thing is I was planning on taking 81 south into NC to get to Florida, but my old friends wanted me to pay them a visit. I meet up with her, and things go really well. We keep talking and decide to give a long-distance thing a try. This past Labor Day I went up to see her again, and I proposed to her during the Jimmy Buffett concert. After talking about it, we decided that it is best that I move back to Richmond.

So that's my story, which I know I deviated from the topic. I basically met two times of women: smart, funny, well-rounded woman that would fall off the face of the earth after one date, or crazy women that wanted to marry me after only knowing me for five minutes. This is my philosophy on love - true love is like a lost set of keys or a lost cell phone: it will show up when you least expect it to. My advice to you is to not worry so much about finding someone and enjoy yourself; that special someone is out there, and you'll find them.

Sorry if this sounds snarky but your post says more about the kind of person YOU are rather than the women in Richmond....not sure how you can blame someone, or an entire group of people, for making lousy relationship choices...

Not sure how it could be anyone else's fault that you got married to the first woman you came across...you had to say "I do" as well, right?

[RichmondGuy]

I think guys who have enough game to be womanizers could probably roll into any city and make stuff happen like that, even the worst places for singles.

I think his assessment about flighty, but high quality girls here was accurate though, but this issue may not be exclusive to Richmond.

[jzcrandall]

Originally Posted by RichmondGuy

I think guys who have enough game to be womanizers could probably roll into any city and make stuff happen like that, even the worst places for singles.

I think his assessment about flighty, but high quality girls here was accurate though, but this issue may not be exclusive to Richmond.

I hate the whole dating process, but it's one of those necessary evils. Just like the Steve Miller Band once said, "You have to go through Hell before you get to Heaven."

[mizzknowitall81]

ive been living in newport news va all my life havent been anywhere else really some people are close minded i would like to meet people of different cultures when i say hi they just look at me funny lol it was easier to make friends when u was young kid than when u get older

[Citylady85]

I'm going to speak to the question someone had earlier about Meetup.com.

I just moved away from Richmond several months ago, but lived in the city for over two years. I didn't know anybody when I arrived and went to several meetups to try and meet people. Yes, people actually go to these things--normal people, too! I actually started a meetup for 20-somethings who were new in town. I was mainly looking to make friends (I was in a long distance relationship), but many of the people who showed up were attractive singles.

If you get a chance, I'd suggest checking out one of the social meetup groups. Contrary to what I originally expected, the people going to these things were just like me: "normal" newcomers looking for a way to network and make new friends.

[RichmondGuy]

Hi CityLady,

I thought you were a guy actually; I went to a meetup a couple years ago started by a single guy who was interested in getting singles in their 20's together who were new to Richmond.

I've got to provide my personal feedback on the whole meetup experience in Richmond. The first one I ever went to there was one attractive girl there; I talked to her briefly, but she was surrounded by 5 guys.

I was out at some bar a couple weeks later and I heard, "Are you Phil?!" I turned around and there she was! We chatted for a minute then she said, "Oh, yeah, I'm here with Kyle." Kyle then walked up to us, a guy she had met recently, presumably at the last meetup. This guy was 7 ft. tall, with a chiseled jawline and was wearing a v-neck sweater. He looked like he came right off of the Harvard tennis courts or something.

I left that night jaded and disgusted, thinking to myself, "So THIS is what it takes in Richmond?"

This has been the single guy experience in Richmond, from what I've seen first-hand, and heard from others: the few single girls out there all want a 6+ ft. tall guy, making six figures.

I've heard from people who've spent a lot of time in DC, NY, and Chicago, that attractive girls at bars are constantly looking at other girls, worried that they're not attractive enough. You definitely don't see that in Richmond! Attractive single girls would come up to me all the time when I was in DC, telling me their friend really wanted to meet me, etc. This has not happened in Richmond.

When I got back from a trip to Los Angeles, I explained to a friend how blown away I was that there were so many attractive girls who were also very nice at these clubs, bars, etc.

My friend responded, "Of course that makes total sense. If you're a hot girl in Richmond, you don't have to say anything to any guy. You've got all these guys lining up to talk to you. If you're a hot girl in LA, you've got to be nicer to people because there are 100's of girls just as hot as you.

I'm trying to get out of here as soon as I can get another job.

[RichmondGuy]

Jeez, for someone who says he's having trouble meeting new people in Richmond and wants to break that inner circle, he sure doesn't give new people a chance. The same goes for other new-to-Richmond posters on this thread.

Maybe Richmond kind of attracts those types, say they're new and looking to meet new people but instantly want to act holier than thou.

I swear, I hung out with at least 3 different girls who were new to Richmond and all three very quickly found a "real housewives of..." style clique to always hang out with, then just got difficult to do stuff with.