Attn: Negative People....LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT (San Diego: condo, buying)
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Not sure about anyhone else, but I'm frankly "sick" of reading the "Sick of San Diego" posts. I am not African American, and I realize I will never understand what that is like. But, I am the product of parents who grew up poorer-than-poor in Appalachian coal mining country. My grandparents barely had 3d grade educations. My parents did not even have high school educations. It was the kind of poor that many people will never know.
However, they escaped to the big city where they had and raised their kids. I learned the value of hard work from a very early age. Today, after living in SEVEN different major metropolitan areas (from NYC to Atlanta to Chicago to San Diego), I can tell you that it is not WHERE you are - it's WHO you are, and WHAT you do with yourself.
If you are miserable in San Diego, there is no place where you will magically feel better. Moving to new places sucks. It's hard to start over with no support system or network. Yeah, the housing may be cheaper, but every place has its own unique challenges. Believe me.
There is a lot of truth to the saying, "no matter where you go, you will always bump into yourself."
If you are negative in San Diego, you will find things to be negative about in any other place.
I moved to San Diego, after a tough divorce. I found and lost a job, moved in with a roommate and ended up buying my own condo in Carlsbad. On $50K per year. I was able to do it because I found a roommate to help me pay for it. And I sold the place and came out ahead.
There is a way to do anything, and the geography simply does not matter.
I tend to agree with Sassberto's comments (to some degree). I'm 40, and I'm often shocked by how younger people seem to have such a sense of entitlement (and I do mean people of all colors and religions, etc). You will get the best when you work for it. Plain and simple. Somehow that has been lost in our culture. Sad.
If you are interested in a thriving AA culture, consider Atlanta, D.C., Baltimore or NYC. They are all places ripe with opportunity and culture.
If you are negative about ANY other place in America, going to San Diego will not make things better either. SD is just another city, not better than any other!
Not sure about anyhone else, but I'm frankly "sick" of reading the "Sick of San Diego" posts. I am not African American, and I realize I will never understand what that is like. But, I am the product of parents who grew up poorer-than-poor in Appalachian coal mining country. My grandparents barely had 3d grade educations. My parents did not even have high school educations. It was the kind of poor that many people will never know.
However, they escaped to the big city where they had and raised their kids. I learned the value of hard work from a very early age. Today, after living in SEVEN different major metropolitan areas (from NYC to Atlanta to Chicago to San Diego), I can tell you that it is not WHERE you are - it's WHO you are, and WHAT you do with yourself.
If you are miserable in San Diego, there is no place where you will magically feel better. Moving to new places sucks. It's hard to start over with no support system or network. Yeah, the housing may be cheaper, but every place has its own unique challenges. Believe me.
There is a lot of truth to the saying, "no matter where you go, you will always bump into yourself."
If you are negative in San Diego, you will find things to be negative about in any other place.
I moved to San Diego, after a tough divorce. I found and lost a job, moved in with a roommate and ended up buying my own condo in Carlsbad. On $50K per year. I was able to do it because I found a roommate to help me pay for it. And I sold the place and came out ahead.
There is a way to do anything, and the geography simply does not matter.
I tend to agree with Sassberto's comments (to some degree). I'm 40, and I'm often shocked by how younger people seem to have such a sense of entitlement (and I do mean people of all colors and religions, etc). You will get the best when you work for it. Plain and simple. Somehow that has been lost in our culture. Sad.
If you are interested in a thriving AA culture, consider Atlanta, D.C., Baltimore or NYC. They are all places ripe with opportunity and culture.
Whatever you are, however poor your family was, you can take solace in the fact that you will never be black in America. This is a comforting thought is it not? In fact, you can remain indifferent to the devastation wrought on the ancestors of black people, a level of subjugation and persecution that has led to your current lot in life. Easy to ignore the devastating effect this has had on successive generations of descendants of slaves. You can ignore the fact that a country white boy like you from the sticks can make something of himself anyplace in America, operating in any capacity of incompetence, and be given the job over a much better qualified black person. While working, you can also enjoy the great comforts of knowing that the better qualified, harder working black person will be fired before you. Or laugh in silence that the black person who is better qualified, more dynamic, more versatile, has more character, and does superior work, gets lower raises than you do because he is the only black person in the office. These are scenarios that play repeatedly throughout America, so excuse me if I open my ears and listen to the negativity. It tells me a lot about what people are going through in this country, outside of my own realm of existence.
By the way, I do agree with you somewhat. We must all create our own reality. But this doesn't mean ignoring the negatives, but being aware of them and learning from them.
I'm kind of shaky on this post.I always get negative attention for my "negative" post.I will admit I am African American and I'm not the biggest fan of San Diego.And it is not because of the "lack" of an AA community.By the way there is no lack;it's just not as black as some east cost/southern cities.I was born and raised here all 19 years of my life.My posts tell the truth of what SD is.The side of San Diego people don't even know exist or they don't want to hear.A lot of people here just want to talk about how beautiful the views and there cities are.This place is so overrated it's not even funny.Just like sweetclimber said"not better than any other place."I now have friends that live in DC,Vegas,Phoenix,Atlanta,Miami,LA,Chicago.About all of them say it is better in their cities or the same over there as of here meaning SD is nothing special;and I agrree.I haven't lived anywhere else but I've been to San Jose,Phoenix,Vegas,St Louis,Pittsburgh,Cleveland,Honolulu,Chicago.As for moving to other cities and not liking it there I have 2 friends who lived here and moved.One to Denver,the other to Toronto. Both love it in there new cities and don't plan on living in SD anymore.(Moved in Feb07 and July06)As for myself I plan on moving to Vegas hopefully to next year or early 2009. Bottom line think behind the post.Get at where the person is trying to say,and don't be so one-walled on "SD is paradise".It's not.Finally,sweetclimber I got your back!!!LOL
Hi buckfush
While I cannot truly relate to what being black in America is like, I can try to understand. One of my favorite college professors (American fiction) was a very angry black man. No one in my life has ever made quite the same impact. Ever. He opened my eyes to a lot of things and much of my life philosophy today is based on things I learned in that class.
By the way, I am not a "country white boy from the sticks". That would be my father. I am a well-educated white WOMAN who is a born and bred Chicago girl. Any success I've had has been a result of my own hard work. I didnt get ANY support from my parents. I've been through a rough marriage to an alcoholic...I've had a lot of obstacles in my path and "privilege" - has had nothing to do with it. Unless you count the color of my skin.
However, that was not really the point of my post.
I was simply saying that life is what you make it - whether you are in San Diego or San Antonio. A lot of people on this forum complain about San Diego. Yes, it's expensive, crowded, maybe somewhat bereft of culture. Sometimes a place is just not the right fit. So, find a different place. I once lived in Nashville for 6 months and couldnt get out of there fast enough. I just didnt like the vibe. Every where I went a building was Southern Baptist this or that. The Bible Belt thing didnt sit well with me. So I left.
However, changing your geographic location isn't necessarily going to change things. Some people will be unhappy wherever they go.
Finally, JKSouthbay...I agree with you to some extent. Too many naieve people visit San Diego on vacation and say, "omigod...this is PARADISE! Let's move here!" It can be paradise if you can afford to live in a 3 million dollar view home, have a boat, or live a pretty carefree life. I've had friends who've moved to Maui for the same dumb reasons and end up hating it when reality sets in.
If you are a regular person, with a regular job, you will run into many of the same issues in San Diego as with any other city.
I'm moving back to San Diego because I've lived there, I KNOW it's workable for me - I like the climate, understand the pros and the cons, and I have a decent support system of friends/pseudo-family who are "there" for me.
Anyway, it's late here in D.C. I hope this makes some sense.
By the way, I do agree with you somewhat. We must all create our own reality. But this doesn't mean ignoring the negatives, but being aware of them and learning from them.
Whatever you are, however poor your family was, you can take solace in the fact that you will never be black in America. This is a comforting thought is it not? In fact, you can remain indifferent to the devastation wrought on the ancestors of black people, a level of subjugation and persecution that has led to your current lot in life. Easy to ignore the devastating effect this has had on successive generations of descendants of slaves. You can ignore the fact that a country white boy like you from the sticks can make something of himself anyplace in America, operating in any capacity of incompetence, and be given the job over a much better qualified black person. While working, you can also enjoy the great comforts of knowing that the better qualified, harder working black person will be fired before you. Or laugh in silence that the black person who is better qualified, more dynamic, more versatile, has more character, and does superior work, gets lower raises than you do because he is the only black person in the office. These are scenarios that play repeatedly throughout America, so excuse me if I open my ears and listen to the negativity. It tells me a lot about what people are going through in this country, outside of my own realm of existence.
Ive visited Haiti, Mexico, and grew up in the ghetto and I find it HILARIOUS how alot of ill informed African Americans act like they are the only oppressed people on the earth... Oh lordy lordy, if they only knew. hahaha.
Also with the job things I have not been hired multiple times because I was not Black and one time because I am not gay. One time I went to join the Boys and Girls club and the lady at the front desk refused to give me any info and she said they didn't have any more places in there program where I could join. I knew a few people who joined later than me.
Being any Race in America has it's ups an downs, I will admit being White has alot more ups than downs but I just find it funny when some people act like white people are just given a magic key that gives them anything they want because they are White.
Also being ANY RACE in the US really isn't that bad in 2007. Go visit Haiti on a trip with a church and I think you will be crying and thanking God that you are Black in America and not over there. Alot of people over there live lives as bad or worse than slaves did in the US 300 years ago.
This may sound cliche, but it's all about looking at a glass half full or half empty, that describes your personality and what you make of a place like San Diego or anywhere else.
If you do not like SD, do NOT,repeat DO NOT go to Vegas. Not to be negative because LV is my hometown, but you will be back in SD after a year. SD is not perfect, in fact I am moving to Dallas next year, but I tell you what, you will hightail your behind right back down to 15 quick after a year in Vegas. Think about it.....carefully.
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