San Francisco v. New York (or other options) for African-American female (Los Angeles: income, living)

[Ceece]

You can live anywhere you want and do well in life although suitable mates are not guaranteed anywhere, for anyone. And you can play gotcha-games with people on the internet who say things that don't effect your life in any way-shape-form because they are speaking only from their own experiences (which are just as valid as yours but, again, don't effect you). Yeah it's fun and that's why we do it, but it's ultimately meaningless and proves no point.

[04kL4nD]

Originally Posted by trueblueshea

I am responding to multiple comments

This self-righteous attitude. How is this different from the white nerdy "brogrammers" residing in San Francisco? Who make false assumptions about certain groups of people and run with it.

Also the Willie Mays == Willie Brown mixup was ridiculous on my part. lmao.
There was a time when San Francisco was 13-15% African-American. The crime was lower because people weren't pigeon-holed into a district because of mass gentrification. I do not know how dangerous Tenderloin actually is. It could be as dangerous as Harlem--which to naive and wide-eyed Californians seems overly dangerous--but really is not that dangerous at all. And this is coming from someone who grew up in an extremely sheltered neighborhood.

Also for the people who keep advocating for Oakland (O4kl4nd). Please stop! I have been to the Bay Area far more than once (probably more than you guys have been other places) and I have been to Oakland plenty of times. One of my parent's jobs requires they fly up to San Francisco once every month and has friends who own restaurants and buildings. The living costs in the surrounding areas are lower yes, but they are not nearly as beautiful as San Francisco. I wouldn't live in Cupertino, Sunnyvale, etc, either because I find it extremely boring. I can make compromises but if the place is not absolutely gorgeous I need a lot of activities around. The Bay Area lacks activity, whereas San Francisco doesn't. I have friends who complain they are bored and they switch jobs in the hopes it will solve their boredom. There are gorgeous places in Bay Area but they are not "that" close to Silicon Valley. And yes I'm spoiled because I am saying this as I sit in a loft in La Jolla.

Sorry, but not a brogrammer. I'm a white gay guy that teaches at a community college and university.Way to stereotype and think you've got me all figured out though. Btw, I've been to all those places you mentioned and actually lived in some of them (near NYC as a kid and San Diego during my early 20s). In fact, I'm willing to bet I've done more traveling in the past year than you could imagine. Yet somehow, you've written off Oakland as some boring, bland area because you've "visited" a few times. Like I said, it's your loss to dismiss Oakland, not ours.

[BajanYankee]

Originally Posted by MauiPartTimer

So, if you're looking for a place where you can be comfortable in your won skin while mixing with people of different races, sexual orientations, etc., the Bay Area I pretty sweet. If you're looking for a large African American community within your chosen profession, that might be more of a challenge.

And that's the tradeoff between the East and West Coast.

You can live in Harlem and be surrounded by tons of young Black professionals. You can eat at places like Cecil, Chocolat, Cedric, Corner Social, the Tavern, Red Rooster, etc....all of these places will be loaded with young Black professionals. It's a refreshing thing to see; the problem is that that will pretty much be the world you occupy. In this great big city, I spend the vast majority of my free time within a few square miles in Harlem and Brooklyn.

The Bay Area seems most different from NYC in that Whites and Asians seem more receptive to dating and socializing with Black people. On the East Coast, I just always assumed that Asians never interacted with Black people anywhere (or any race other than Whites). Then when I visited a friend in California and saw that he had an Asian girlfriend (and some of her friends were also dating Black guys), I was like "Wow! You can do that?" But the downside, I guess, is that you don't have that strong concentration of younger Black professionals.

[kttam186290]

Originally Posted by jade408

Seattle "burbs" are much less diverse than the Bay Area though! You don't have to go too far to find "more black people." Washington means you have to leave the state!

Not exactly. She might like Tacoma, which is about 1/4 black, but also has more crime than Seattle. So, it would be a toss-up.

[NewbiePoster]

Originally Posted by trueblueshea

Also, you guys are obviously mistaken, I think San Francisco (as a city, not as the individuals like yourself comprising it) would like to have a competent, highly-educated, attractive, young black woman in an actual tech position--which is probably why they are paying me so much when I mentioned I had offers other places. I was even contemplating Kansas City. According to my friends who live and work there currently, there is a shortage of black people, women, and attractive people.

But then, you'd be an outlier there. And your OP expresses a preference to live somewhere, where you can have a social life among other black people.

If you don't like the Bay Area, including Oakland and Berkeley (there are beautiful neighborhoods in both towns, if aesthetics are high on your list), and your opinions seem like they're pretty strong and were set prior to your posting here, why ask us about the Bay Area being a possible fit for you? Some people here are trying to be helpful, but that's not going anywhere. Maybe another city forum or the Moving forum, or some other forum here would be better for you.

[04kL4nD]

Originally Posted by newbieposter

if you don't like the bay area, including oakland and berkeley (there are beautiful neighborhoods in both towns, if aesthetics are high on your list), and your opinions seem like they're pretty strong and were set prior to your posting here,why ask us about the bay area being a possible fit for you? Some people here are trying to be helpful, but that's not going anywhere. Maybe another city forum or the moving forum, or some other forum here would be better for you.

+1

[Bisaro TMF]

Originally Posted by 04kL4nD

Sorry, but not a brogrammer. I'm a white gay guy that teaches at a community college and university.Way to stereotype and think you've got me all figured out though. Btw, I've been to all those places you mentioned and actually lived in some of them (near NYC as a kid and San Diego during my early 20s). In fact, I'm willing to bet I've done more traveling in the past year than you could imagine. Yet somehow, you've written off Oakland as some boring, bland area because you've "visited" a few times. Like I said, it's your loss to dismiss Oakland, not ours.

I had no Idea you were white or gay. Not that it matters but I always thought you were Black

[steelers1523]

OP sucks. She clearly came in here to trash SF. She has not responded to one statement with any civility at all.

[steelers1523]

Maybe the reason OP thinks everywhere is so anti-black is because she is an awful person. Just read one of your posts out loud and listen to how terrible you sound.

[04kL4nD]

Originally Posted by Bisaro TMF

I had no Idea you were white or gay. Not that it matters but I always thought you were Black

Nope. White as day. Oddly enough though, whenever women hit on me (which happens more frequently than you'd think), it's usually black women. Back when I waited tables and bartended, they were some of my highest tippers