Opinions - What Would You Do In This Situation?

[RVD90277]

it's always a risk with unstable people like this. you can yell back but that could antagonize even further and make a situation worse.

i think the OP did well by being more defensive than offensive. i also don't see a big problem with confronting the situation after given some time to die down a bit.

most store owners and staff will not get involved. most strangers will not get involved with anything happening on the street. i had an incident in college once when a friend and i were walking down the street. a car pulled up and said "did you guys just say something?" i said "what?" and the guy said "did you guys just say something to us?" and i just said "no" and the guy said "you guys are dead" and the car pulled over and 4 guys got out.

my friend and i ran but these guys caught us. they had bats, brass knuckles, etc. we were dead meat. we ran over to these adults who were also out for a walk and yelled "these guys are trying to kills us!" and they just turned away and didn't do anything. this is before cell phones so it wouldn't be so easy to call the cops (you'd have to find a pay phone or home or something like that). they literally just walked away because they didn't want to get involved.

i eventually talked to these guys and convinced them that we were just 2 guys walking down the street and didn't say anything to these guys and the main guy seemed to eventually buy it so the other guys and him left.

since this was a kid, he probably did have some mental issues and the parents should have stepped in to apologize or do something. i would have probably spoken to them instead of the kid but from your description it sounds like the parents would have just shrugged...

[Ruth4Truth]

I don't think we can assume the kid had mental issues. It's possible he'd been watching the news about the case in Ferguson, was harboring a grudge, and was looking for someone to take it out on. If so, that would've been a teachable moment for the parents, that they missed. I wonder what kind of conversations took place at their home about that. it's possible he was into that "knockout game" thing. Or both. It's possible he's hanging out with the wrong crowd, and his friends are egging each other on to play tough.

Originally Posted by sacite

It sounds like the kid was playing the "knockout game", which has left random people with severe injuries from head trauma.

In any case, I do think you should go back to the restaurant and have a talk with the manager. He might not give you a copy of any videotape of the incident, if that even exists, but after you file a police report he might.

Weird that kids think they can act out in public with no consequences. Don't they know how easy it is to get a police record and end up in the criminal justice system?

[MissAlexRZ]

I think I would've called the police or notified the restaurant manager. I do think it was a bit much to yell, and I'm not sure slamming your fist is the greatest thing ever. I'm not sure what your self-defense mode thing looks like. I'm not sure what else to address.

[kyled]

Since this happened in the restaurant it was the restaurant's responsibility to take care of the issue. I say this because restaurants want to keep your business. What should have happened was the wait staff should have told the manager and the manager would then speak to you and the family. At that point, especially since the kid kept on eying you, the family would have been kicked out and the manager might have called the police (if the family made a commotion). Children (and people in generally) need to know there are consequences to their actions...the only reason why kids these days are becoming more violent is because they escalate their actions after making poor decisions without consequences.

If I were you I would probably would have just left, steaming, and never gone back to the restaurant...which is why the restaurant should have done something. Since they didn't do anything you could have told them about the incident and asked them to handle it...I'm not assertive enough to do that sort of thing, though. Not that this would have happened to me, though...people tend to leave me alone...I think I frighten them.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by kyled

Since this happened in the restaurant it was the restaurant's responsibility to take care of the issue. I say this because restaurants want to keep your business.

Yup. You'd think.

Originally Posted by kyled;

What should have happened was the wait staff should have told the manager and the manager would then speak to you and the family.

You'd think that would be standard procedure with something like this. Plus, they were risking losing not only the OP's business, but the business of other patrons, who probably didn't appreciate the disturbance. The staff and management displayed no concern at all for the customers' safety and comfort, or for their future patronage. That's the kind of place I wouldn't return to. A place where customers' behavior is unpredictable and the staff can't or chooses not to keep people under control? No way.

[Count David]

I'm glad I'm 6'7".

I don't know what exactly I would have done in OP's situation. I wouldn't let anybody get away with trying to hit me like that though. I don't know if I would have said anything to the parents, and I don't know if I would have smiled back, or egged the kid on, or what. It would also depend if my wife was with me or not (she would be more apt to creating a scene, me more apt to calming it).

I know a kid that would probably do something like this, and he is mentally disturbed (acts out at very inappropriate times, screaming fits, acts about half his age), so I wouldn't entirely discount that.....but....

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

Weird that kids think they can act out in public with no consequences. Don't they know how easy it is to get a police record and end up in the criminal justice system?

....no, they don't. I have a 14 year old. He has friends. I'm not going to speak in generalities here, but many more of them (than you would think) think they are virtually invincible, and think they are the hardest thing this side of the mafia. That is my other theory on OP's assailant.

And assailant's parents either weren't paying attention to their supposedly "grown up" kid, didn't notice, or he has mental problems and are sick of having to say they're sorry to everybody every time he does something stupid, and just wanted to try and have dinner out for once. Or, for all we know, they did say something to him.

[mkarch]

Originally Posted by mamainfl

Do you think that the parents were even aware of what their kid was doing? Did they know he took a swing at you, or were there backs turned?

Did anyone else notice what the kid did that was dining in the restaurant? Was your outburst when you stood up understood by the rest of the people dining?

It seems like if he had issues, the parents would be "on alert" as to how he interacts with the public, and interfere or at least be ready to explain the kids actions.

What a very weird situation. It is hard to know how anyone would react in that moment!

Maybe the parents are proud of how their son acts. Our neighbor takes great pride in the fact that his son acts like a psycho. At one point we spoke to him about it and his response was "just don't **** him off or he'll assault you". The son gets in fights all the time, gets arrested constantly for aggressive behavior and the dad just bails him out of jail so he can continue behaving like an animal.