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Update to original posting. Have left the first hospital job with all the negativity, and have started at the other hospital. Much friendlier place, but still that aura of natives needing that arms length distance from the newcomer. It's kind of like they're scared to think that there's another part of the world outside of this area. It's like they feel safe here and the rest of the world is just too scary to venture into. I dunno. I still get the door shut in my face most of the time and still seldom have folks say thanks when I hold the door open for them. Have decided I'm not the one with the problem or three heads. Plan to continue to follow the golden rule, enjoy my time here, and pursue and be proud of my nursing career regardless. At this point, none of us want to stay, but will give it some more time. We do have some fantastic new neighbors (from out of town, of course) and that will help a bit. Actually, I'm going to round up and organize our little neighborhood of non natives and have a good old fashioned block party after the heat of summer is over. Nice pot luck with the lawn chairs and picnic tables in the street (we live at the end of a small road), oh and maybe a little brewski. Like I said, we decided to have some fun and enjoy while we're here.....
Update to original posting. Have left the first hospital job with all the negativity, and have started at the other hospital. Much friendlier place, but still that aura of natives needing that arms length distance from the newcomer. It's kind of like they're scared to think that there's another part of the world outside of this area. It's like they feel safe here and the rest of the world is just too scary to venture into. I dunno. I still get the door shut in my face most of the time and still seldom have folks say thanks when I hold the door open for them. Have decided I'm not the one with the problem or three heads. Plan to continue to follow the golden rule, enjoy my time here, and pursue and be proud of my nursing career regardless. At this point, none of us want to stay, but will give it some more time. We do have some fantastic new neighbors (from out of town, of course) and that will help a bit. Actually, I'm going to round up and organize our little neighborhood of non natives and have a good old fashioned block party after the heat of summer is over. Nice pot luck with the lawn chairs and picnic tables in the street (we live at the end of a small road), oh and maybe a little brewski. Like I said, we decided to have some fun and enjoy while we're here.....
Hey if I am in your area at the time you have your old fashion pot luck. Can I come? Sounds like fun!
Update to original posting. Have left the first hospital job with all the negativity, and have started at the other hospital. Much friendlier place, but still that aura of natives needing that arms length distance from the newcomer. It's kind of like they're scared to think that there's another part of the world outside of this area. It's like they feel safe here and the rest of the world is just too scary to venture into. I dunno. I still get the door shut in my face most of the time and still seldom have folks say thanks when I hold the door open for them. Have decided I'm not the one with the problem or three heads. Plan to continue to follow the golden rule, enjoy my time here, and pursue and be proud of my nursing career regardless. At this point, none of us want to stay, but will give it some more time. We do have some fantastic new neighbors (from out of town, of course) and that will help a bit. Actually, I'm going to round up and organize our little neighborhood of non natives and have a good old fashioned block party after the heat of summer is over. Nice pot luck with the lawn chairs and picnic tables in the street (we live at the end of a small road), oh and maybe a little brewski. Like I said, we decided to have some fun and enjoy while we're here.....
I'm so glad to hear your update, Sunshine Girl! I had decided that if we didn't hear from you soon, I was going to send you a private post or even email you. My friend said that they are known to be unfriendly at your old job. Isn't that a trip?! She has been here only 3+ years from CA and I doubt she has ever been there but she knows because others have told her...she has a hair salon in Nixa so has met more people than most would have in that same amount of time.
I find it fascinating that all the non-natives are the friendliest people especially since people say CA is so unfriendly and impersonal. Wassup with that?!
I'm glad to hear you say you do have some great neighbors and are planning a BBQ in the fall. There's been some talk of getting our forum members together, too. What would you think of that? I would be willing to start a new thread on that topic if I get some positive feedback here. If we do, I would recommend something simple like at a restaurant...someplace with air conditioning, of course!
I really believe things will "turn around" for you and look forward to hearing those stories whenever they happen. Your family's biggest challenge is something you alluded to in your post. That is to stay as friendly as you are without throwing up walls of protection. When you do things to protect yourself, it has the added consequence of people responding to you differently, including preventing the very closeness you long for. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that confirms your new belief...that people are unfriendly.
That's why I am so glad to know that you've taken the plunge and left your old job with all of its negativity...and that you said you, "Plan to continue to follow the golden rule, enjoy my time here, and pursue and be proud of my nursing career regardless." Right on!
Above all, keep smiling, Sunshine Girl! For those who don't like it, it'll drive them crazy and for those who do, it'll make their world seem like a friendlier and better place! And I KNOW you want to be a part of THAT!
Lived here 10 years....still don't know many people!
I saw your post and had to smile. I've felt just as you do. In many ways, I still feel the way you do. The Springfield I know is convenient, if you don't mind driving, and friendly and helpful, if you're willing to jump in at one of the MANY churches. Of course, for someone like me, as a non-religious person, meeting people is difficult.
I've recently begun to consider moving to a more walkable community, either here in Springfield, or elsewhere, once my youngest son graduates in 2 years. You can drive to some nice shopping and restaurants, etc, but you can't walk from one thing to the other, its all got to be done in a car here. I'm hoping the changes downtown and along Commercial help lead to a few more walkable neighborhoods developing, but at the same time, they just keep slapping up houses and strip malls further and further out, and I don't see that trend ending soon.
Here its like we all drive home, wave friendly as we turn in our drives, then close the garage door behind us and head to our privacy fenced back yards.
I saw your post and had to smile. I've felt just as you do. In many ways, I still feel the way you do. The Springfield I know is convenient, if you don't mind driving, and friendly and helpful, if you're willing to jump in at one of the MANY churches. Of course, for someone like me, as a non-religious person, meeting people is difficult.
I've recently begun to consider moving to a more walkable community, either here in Springfield, or elsewhere, once my youngest son graduates in 2 years. You can drive to some nice shopping and restaurants, etc, but you can't walk from one thing to the other, its all got to be done in a car here. I'm hoping the changes downtown and along Commercial help lead to a few more walkable neighborhoods developing, but at the same time, they just keep slapping up houses and strip malls further and further out, and I don't see that trend ending soon.
Here its like we all drive home, wave friendly as we turn in our drives, then close the garage door behind us and head to our privacy fenced back yards.
Actually, the wave before closing the garage doors and so on wouldn't bother me a bit. For some reason I seem to find friends more often through mutual interests and activities. However I am not religious either, so maybe that would be more of a problem than I think. I do like your idea of living in a walkable neighborhood, though!
When we retire in 2-3 years and (probably) move to Springfield, I will be looking for a walkable neighborhood, too. I have spent much of my working life sitting at a desk, and I need to get used to walking around more for health. It would be wonderful if I could walk to a grocery store every day or two as weather allows, for example, instead of taking my car.
Maybe I can also take advantage of the walking trails there. I haven't seen them yet, but they sound very nice.
We also do not do the church thing, but I hear ya with the waving and shutting the doors. When we were in FL, everyone walked in the neighborhood, and always had time to stop and chat. Here, folks walk some, but you just don't see anyone on the sidewalks jogging, walking, bicycling, etc. It was more of a community there than here. My perception is that here it seems like the natives act kind of threatened by newcomers for some reason. I in no way want to change anything here, nor do I wish to replicate any of my previous neighborhoods here. Each place is it's own place. They seem to have formed friendships from childhood, and while polite, they do not wish to enlarge their circles. I am not used to those kind of closed doors. We have never shut anyone out that wishes to chat or that needs anything at all. It's kind of just surface friendly here, and it's kind of spooky. It's like I keep saying about closing the door on you, it's like they don't even see you. We are trying to give this place a chance, as the actual area is quite beautiful and has much to offer recreationally. But, honestly, I don't think we will stay past the two years Uncle Sam requires so as not to get hit with capital gains taxes when selling. Of course that's even assuming there will be a profit. Prices here are not going up tremendously fast unless you have acreage.
Thought I would add one other positive thought to your list Sunshine Girl, the thing I have seen where I live, (Ozark MO) is that while some towns maybe clannish or have their own cliques so to speak, really when you look at the migration patterns over the last 10 years the ones coming here are really far more in number here than the natives.
Hoping you and your family make those connections with people and can call this place home for awhile .. have a great evening.
I moved to CA from NJ 15 years ago and still I find the people here to be very stand offish. Fortunately, I was able to make a couple of friends, but back in NJ I lived alone just as I do now (no relatives in CA.) People in NJ who hardly know you would think nothing of inviting you over for barbeques and the holidays. Unless I travel back to NJ or PA, I will, and have spent many holidays by myself in CA. Rather then dwell on it I just count my blessings.
When was the last time you visited new jersey?
Things have really changed around here in the last few years, Its not very friendly around here anymore,And im in south jersey, cape may area
To many people moving in from the surroundind states with there bad attitudes and driving skills
We also do not do the church thing, but I hear ya with the waving and shutting the doors. When we were in FL, everyone walked in the neighborhood, and always had time to stop and chat. Here, folks walk some, but you just don't see anyone on the sidewalks jogging, walking, bicycling, etc. It was more of a community there than here. My perception is that here it seems like the natives act kind of threatened by newcomers for some reason. I in no way want to change anything here, nor do I wish to replicate any of my previous neighborhoods here. Each place is it's own place. They seem to have formed friendships from childhood, and while polite, they do not wish to enlarge their circles. I am not used to those kind of closed doors. We have never shut anyone out that wishes to chat or that needs anything at all. It's kind of just surface friendly here, and it's kind of spooky. It's like I keep saying about closing the door on you, it's like they don't even see you. We are trying to give this place a chance, as the actual area is quite beautiful and has much to offer recreationally. But, honestly, I don't think we will stay past the two years Uncle Sam requires so as not to get hit with capital gains taxes when selling. Of course that's even assuming there will be a profit. Prices here are not going up tremendously fast unless you have acreage.
Hi Sunshine Girl...I hadn't seen this thread...glad somebody got it back up to the top!
I moved here 13 years ago from Sacramento. Did the "80 acres & a house" thing...30 minutes out of Spfld. Some folks were very nice, but overall cliquey and defensive. Closed.
About a year later I moved to Springfield, going thru a nasty divorce. There is a lot of truth in your perceptions and I think it's because Springfield has had so much influx and changes and the natives tend to "hunker down"...lots of people find change hard! See...YOU are the brave ones...the explorers who weren't afraid to throw off the security of home and launch out to try to find something better...those neighbors/co-workers who resist you are not!
I finally landed in the Branson area, where the locals have been inundated with transplants for so many years that they are completely out-numbered! Almost everyone is from somewhere...it's been a retirement mecca since 1959when they built the lakes! (Sorry Plains 10...reservoirs...)
Anyway...my observation has been that there's a 2 year "chickening out" period...not only for the capital gains thing but there's something about that period of time...I've heard psychobabblists say that.
I love your attitude about personal responsibility...and your tenacity.
My attitude about this area is that it's a trade-off. Some things might be better "back home", but I certainly won't say that to my wonderful friends who are from here. There's a reason you left, right?
Whenever I get sentimental about NoCal, I just have to go for a visit.
Hang in there. You might be surprized.
Have decided I'm not the one with the problem or three heads. Plan to continue to follow the golden rule, enjoy my time here, and pursue and be proud of my nursing career regardless. At this point, none of us want to stay, but will give it some more time.
I'm sorry to hear about your experience in SGF, but I'm not surprised. I was born and raised there but moved away after college some 30 years ago. I still have lots of family in the area, and visit there regularly. But I would NEVER move back there. The town has just changed too much, and has lost the soul and the character that made it a Mayberry-like place to live. I don't know why people there aren't so friendly any more, but it's true.
If you are set on leaving, one place that I have lived and would definitely recommend is Huntsville, Alabama. About the same size as Springfield, but has a tech-based economy instead of tourism-based. The place is absolutely booming with opportunity; real-estate prices are still reasonable but are seeing a rapid increase as we speak. And people are friendly (even though drivers aren't any better there). Anyway, check it out. And good luck!!!
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Sounds like fun!
So glad to hear from you again!
Wassup with that?! 
The 2 year thing...
