I need validation from internet strangers today (Kansas City, St. Louis: job market, wedding)

[topospace]

Originally Posted by aragx6

I know that's a super lame title, but it's really true. Most regulars here know my story, but the cliff notes version is that after college my SO and I moved to Chicago together and I had a wonderful job doing something quite closely related to my major. But SO didn't work for two years and grad school didn't work out, so we ended up in Kansas City near his family. His career is going great, we actually have a savings account, and life is generally very good, but my career is stagnant/non-existent, we have few good friends and I simply don't (and I suspect can't) feel at home here.

The plan is St. Louis all the way and SO is starting work to make that happen -- pushing contacts, lining things up etc., but we both know it would be stupid to move for the wrong opportunity. And so we wait. Yet, while we wait I can do nothing -- switching jobs would be asinine given how soon we could be leaving, but coming here everyday and trying to blow 8 hours on the internet while doing as little real work as is humanly possible is no way to live either.

And the older we get the harder I think the move to St. Louis will be. I'm afraid it will be hard to make friends. I'm afraid when we get here I'll want to keep moving and that I'll be disappointed. I'm afraid I've used KC as an excuse for my middling career for too long, or that I've simply been out of my industry too long to ever get back in it. I cried the other day -- for like a while -- because of an amazing job posted at the RFT that I can't have.

So I need to hear you all tell me how happy I'll be in St. Louis and how much you all like me. OK, wow, that sounds mad lame. Even something funny would be good. Anybody ever check out this blog: I am staying in St. Louis because... It makes me happy.

Pathetic. Instead of wasting 8 hours a day playing on the internet, why don't try actually working? There are thousands of people who would kill to have your job. You're lucky to have one and even luckier that you haven't been fired considering your lack of work ethic. Try being an adult and quit feeling sorry for yourself.

[jribe]

Originally Posted by aragx6

This is hard for me -- I suspect for a fair number of women in my generation -- I was raised by a true feminist and can be a bit hardcore about it myself on occasion, so it's hard for me to talk about but what I really want to do is eventually stay home with our kids, at least for a couple of years. I think I'd really like it and I think I could do good by my kids. My SO and I are in total agreement on that issue. What that means, however, is that to make that happen, he's got to get a few more notches up his career. We're still talking about kids in 4-6 years so there is time for that, but only if we make smart decisions now. So at the end of the day, we both agree that my career has to take a backseat. It just turns out I'm not good at not having a mission or a direction.

But you're absolutely right that we're not willing to take the wrong thing in St. Louis just to be in St. Louis, though there have been a couple of good opportunities that have presented themselves lately. I'm 26, we can move back to St. Louis any time. The hardest thing for me is how much I'd like to buy something while interest rates are excruciatingly low. I think they're going to be low for a good while, but certainly not forever.

And frankly, I'm less concerned about finding gainful employment in St. Louis for myself, because I can use some of its parochial-ness to my advantage -- I know a lot of people (I get fairly serious job offers from family friends damn near every time we're back in St. Louis). And we can always stay with my mom for a few weeks or a few months (hopefully the former) while we get settled.

Wowza, that's probably the most I've ever shared about myself on here.

I never realized you were so young- you're always wise beyond your age in your posts! After moving from CA about six months ago my husband and I are somehow forgetting all the reasons we chose to leave (the crowds, immigration issues, lack of jobs, fifty different languages, etc) because we miss some things there (namely the weather!) and kinda look past what we loved so much when we came to St Louis. Moving is definitely hard when you're past college age and you need to find new friends. People get a little set in their cliques - and we're still working on that so i understand. What does your SO do btw? I work for WFA and there's some really great opportunities (read $$$) there if i can be of any assistance.
Good luck with everything,
J

[jribe]

Originally Posted by topospace

Pathetic. Instead of wasting 8 hours a day playing on the internet, why don't try actually working? There are thousands of people who would kill to have your job. You're lucky to have one and even luckier that you haven't been fired considering your lack of work ethic. Try being an adult and quit feeling sorry for yourself.

no need to be rude. I honestly doubt she isn't doing her work- she's just not satisfied with what she's doing. Can't you relate to that feeling?

[billiken]

Originally Posted by aragx6

That is scary and exciting! Where's the opportunity?

Germany My husband worked there before on a temporary work assignment, and loved it so much we want to return!

[aragx6]

Originally Posted by billiken

Germany My husband worked there before on a temporary work assignment, and loved it so much we want to return!

How fantastic! I haven't been to Germany yet (though it's on our short list) but ich spreche ein bisschen deutsch!

[billiken]

Originally Posted by aragx6

How fantastic! I haven't been to Germany yet (though it's on our short list) but ich spreche ein bisschen deutsch!

You probably speak more than I do...I never took German classes at all. My husband is close to fluent though, and we have friends there from his previous work assignment--in fact, we're going to a German wedding this summer!

[MUTGR]

Originally Posted by aragx6

How fantastic! I haven't been to Germany yet (though it's on our short list) but ich spreche ein bisschen deutsch!

Just curious, what is it you do? What is it you hope to do?

I would just say you are still so young you shouldn't sweat stuff so much. You've plenty of time for things. The decisions become harder when you have kids, don't worry so much now. I love STL, but KC is a fine city IMHO. I'd be perfectly happy there, but then again, I'm a bit of a simpleton and don't really define things by where I'm at. Then again, I've always lived in STL except for my 5 glorious years in Columbia Missouri so I've never strayed far.

I have a sister who moved all over the country and always complained about not being happy in this or that place. I've never understoond defining your happiness by where you are, but that's just me. People are different.

[aragx6]

^I have a background in magazine journalism and used to work in internal corporate communications when we lived in Chicago. I now am really a glorified admin and I work with my company's project planning office to keep projects running on time and to plan while keeping loads of key stakeholders happy. I'm not even bad at it, I just don't like it. As soon as the SO and I determine what our next step is I'll be in a better position to figure my own stuff out.

[billiken]

Well, if you are feeling desperate for a job in STL and want to continue the project management thing, I know lots of them in town!

[zach_33]

Originally Posted by aragx6

Oh and where are you off to next?

Not sure yet. Spouse has to get a job offer somewhere. Her field (science) has far fewer jobs than mine (marketing), so this time around I am the "trailing spouse." As long as it is a major metro, preferably in the northern part of the US, I am up for the adventure.