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I am a single, white, career oriented young professional Harvard MBA 29 years old with an income over 150K yr. I travel for work all over the states and am self employed, but my home is here since my family lives here too. Living now since 2003.
My problem is that my social life here is awful and I have noticed that it has brought me down to a level of people I normally should not be in company of. I have meet nice people don't get me wrong but most of those I met are either unemployed, have a criminal record, have multiple kids, have mediocre jobs, do drugs, sell drugs, lie about everything, have huge drama issues, have no degree and if they do its some crap degree, have never traveled outside the country or could hold an intellectual conversation and this happens to me all the time.
Dating here has been a complete nightmare, even did the Speed Dating, and would never go again. People are not very approachable, have a cocky attitude, cannot really stir up a conversation or show any interest and if they hint then unless you come up to them they wont say anything. I have no issues attracting women but I always find that I attract the wrong ones all the time unintentionally. I have very high standards and unfortunately I was not able to meet anyone who fit my standards either.
I feel the girls here either are too slutty, act too stuck up for their own worth and have nothing to offer for me in a relationship. Their looks are worthless without the rest of the package.
Ybor itself is a death wish waiting to happen, on 2 occasions I have been there someone gets shot. Ybor brings all kinds of people from all the surrounding areas imaginable starting since age 16 and up. Now I am very afraid of going there.
I feel depressed here, have no friends and often find spending time alone to avoid the Tampa crap. So now I am considering moving out of Florida and am willing to sacrifice the weather for a better quality of life and social life for me and my future and for business. Of course Miami is out of the question.
Or am i missing something under my nose?
Can anyone please make a suggestion?
A few places crossed my mind up north (Maryland, Mass, Seattle, North Carolina?)
I will have to rent first but also don’t want to blow a lot of money on rent either.
From the tone of your post you sound way too judgmental for anyone to measure up to your expectations and as a consequence you are probably no fun to hang out with, if you are looking for perfection in relationships you will be disappointed as you'll never find it, i doubt your problems are anything to do with Tampa but more about yourself as it seems you arent having much luck in your travels to other places.
I'd suggest having a few sessions with a life coach to explore the dynamics of your social problems.
Heres just one of many that can turn your present negative attitudes into something much more positive. Hypnotherapy, Positive Change Coach, Life Skills Coach - Tampa, FL
Well, I don't think that he sounds judgemental at all! In fact I live in phoenix and I am having the same problems! I have lived all over the west coast, including Los Angeles, west Hollywood to be exact, and I have never in my life had problems finding friends and "normal" people. I moved to phoenix because my husband has a career here. But I absolutely hate it here!!!!!!!! I never in my life met so many dysfunctional parasitic people per capita. Let me just give 2 MINOR examples: first, neighbor beside locks her child outside during day and early evening hours, the child comes to my house to get out of the outdoors. Child protective services were called to no avail. Second, my husbands insane girlfriend decided to list me as emergent contact at hospital, in which she went bat **** crazy and the doctor called me out of work to come get her! I asked why not mentally commit the psycho and they said no grounds?!???! What!!!! Really.. Is it sane to rip out an IV and say the hospital people are trying to kill you!!?!?!?! Yea... Minor examples of the whacked out people.. And guess what!?!? Other than work, none if people I meet have jobs, either they do this "hustle" or beg their friends for $$$ PATHETIC!
I want to move, BADLY! So I was looking at Tampa... BUT FORGET IT, if the only advice this poor sap gets is " ooooo you too judgmental.. Get a life coach..." Screw that... Guess what??? Sometimes it ISN'T YOU.... IT REALLY IS THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! Sick of this need to internalize everything and not put blame on BLAME!!!! Maybe Alaska again is for me? The heat messes up people I think? Welcome me back Sitka.... I'm coming home to your normal weirdness!!!!!
Oh..and Jambo 101 please don't say about negativity and vibes or tones. I'm glad you have advice but it really isn't nice of your tone to assume he is the problem. You may like being admidst of other people's drama and giving your hard earned money to people who can't even walk 1block for the pint of vodka YOU just were sucked into paying for, because they told you it was for "food"!!!
Yea, here is my advice, if you want to stay, maybe look at your coworkers? In LA I volunteered and found "normal" people. ( Phx the plan didn't work out so well, I even made sure it was a place that did not accept community service). Maybe a meet up group? Or something cultural? Idiots scare from intellectuals, trust me, I am getting my doctorate and none of the idiots bother me AS MUCH when I start talking about my thesis statement...lol.
Oh!!! There you go!! Take a class at the local university!! Not online, but in person! I think you just saved me from Alaska and my marriage! I'm gonna quit asu online and go to campus!!!! Maybe the normal folk are there?!?!? Hope may settle
Good luck good normal person.. You are fine, don't cave
Welcome to the forum helpalot, usually when some one asks for advice on a topic many people give their take on what the problem might be and their take on what a solution might be, then its up to the op to read them all and decide if anything suggested might help,Unless you are the op in disguise i really dont see the point in trashing my take on the issue as its just as relevant as your take on the issue.
I am a single, white, career oriented young professional Harvard MBA 29 years old with an income over 150K yr. I travel for work all over the states and am self employed, but my home is here since my family lives here too. Living now since 2003.
My problem is that my social life here is awful and I have noticed that it has brought me down to a level of people I normally should not be in company of. I have meet nice people don't get me wrong but most of those I met are either unemployed, have a criminal record, have multiple kids, have mediocre jobs, do drugs, sell drugs, lie about everything, have huge drama issues, have no degree and if they do its some crap degree, have never traveled outside the country or could hold an intellectual conversation and this happens to me all the time.
Dating here has been a complete nightmare, even did the Speed Dating, and would never go again. People are not very approachable, have a cocky attitude, cannot really stir up a conversation or show any interest and if they hint then unless you come up to them they wont say anything. I have no issues attracting women but I always find that I attract the wrong ones all the time unintentionally. I have very high standards and unfortunately I was not able to meet anyone who fit my standards either.
I feel the girls here either are too slutty, act too stuck up for their own worth and have nothing to offer for me in a relationship. Their looks are worthless without the rest of the package.
Ybor itself is a death wish waiting to happen, on 2 occasions I have been there someone gets shot. Ybor brings all kinds of people from all the surrounding areas imaginable starting since age 16 and up. Now I am very afraid of going there.
I feel depressed here, have no friends and often find spending time alone to avoid the Tampa crap. So now I am considering moving out of Florida and am willing to sacrifice the weather for a better quality of life and social life for me and my future and for business. Of course Miami is out of the question.
Or am i missing something under my nose?
Can anyone please make a suggestion?
A few places crossed my mind up north (Maryland, Mass, Seattle, North Carolina?)
I will have to rent first but also don’t want to blow a lot of money on rent either.
As a Florida native who has lived in places you're more likely to find happiness, I get where you're coming from. This is a tough place to move to/adapt to coming from where you were, and believe me is better suited for much later in life versus your current age (and career path). If you're looking for a place with somewhat intellectual, somewhat friendly career-oriented people around your age I would recommend getting out of here and heading to cities like Raleigh/Durham, Denver or Minneapolis where you don't have the hyper-competitiveness in terms of 24/7 career focus (and job talk) yet a sizable population of well-educated singles (around 40% of population has a college degree), plus people who are generally open to meeting others and lacking in the pretension found in some more high profile cities.
I don't think he is "judgmental" at all, but when you're looking to spend quality time with someone, "some people" (myself included) can't be reduced to discuss football and baseball alone! I have a lot of other interests to talk about, and if I have nobody to talk about any of them with, I get annoyed too. We have kids, and finding other parents to hang out with has proved quite daunting here...like in the worst sense...someone once said "let's have a playdate", and when I asked when they're comping to get the kids, she said in around 8 hours! I am not a daycare, this was a "first time" playdate, and not a sleepover! Our friends in Miami would have never pull this kind of stuff off. To name 1 thing...
I don't know why you say skip Miami? We're from there, and frankly I share your sentiment about Tampa's social life, but in Miami we had the best time! Lots of interesting people, educated, (not in the sense that they had a degree slapped to their resume, but folks who traveled in various places, read many books etc. intellectuals, and had cool hobbies etc).
I would give Miami a shot before going elsewhere...you might be surprised...just make sure you pick a nice neighborhood like Coral Gables for example, and not Hialeah...
I am a single, white, career oriented young professional Harvard MBA 29 years old with an income over 150K yr. I travel for work all over the states and am self employed, but my home is here since my family lives here too. Living now since 2003.
My problem is that my social life here is awful and I have noticed that it has brought me down to a level of people I normally should not be in company of. I have meet nice people don't get me wrong but most of those I met are either unemployed, have a criminal record, have multiple kids, have mediocre jobs, do drugs, sell drugs, lie about everything, have huge drama issues, have no degree and if they do its some crap degree, have never traveled outside the country or could hold an intellectual conversation and this happens to me all the time.
Dating here has been a complete nightmare, even did the Speed Dating, and would never go again. People are not very approachable, have a cocky attitude, cannot really stir up a conversation or show any interest and if they hint then unless you come up to them they wont say anything. I have no issues attracting women but I always find that I attract the wrong ones all the time unintentionally. I have very high standards and unfortunately I was not able to meet anyone who fit my standards either.
I feel the girls here either are too slutty, act too stuck up for their own worth and have nothing to offer for me in a relationship. Their looks are worthless without the rest of the package.
Ybor itself is a death wish waiting to happen, on 2 occasions I have been there someone gets shot. Ybor brings all kinds of people from all the surrounding areas imaginable starting since age 16 and up. Now I am very afraid of going there.
I feel depressed here, have no friends and often find spending time alone to avoid the Tampa crap. So now I am considering moving out of Florida and am willing to sacrifice the weather for a better quality of life and social life for me and my future and for business. Of course Miami is out of the question.
Or am i missing something under my nose?
Can anyone please make a suggestion?
A few places crossed my mind up north (Maryland, Mass, Seattle, North Carolina?)
I will have to rent first but also don’t want to blow a lot of money on rent either.
I'd head back to Boston if it were me ... or you could try Atlanta - plenty of professionals up here that might meet your social requirements.
Location: says MA on my license but can be found wandering the beaches of RI
1,432 posts, read 1,822,137 times
Reputation: 907
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP
I don't think he is "judgmental" at all, but when you're looking to spend quality time with someone, "some people" (myself included) can't be reduced to discuss football and baseball alone!
Don't want to jump to anything and want to give you the benefit of the doubt but are you saying talking sports is a "lower" form of discussion?
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