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Well, not knowing the child under discussion, it would be difficult to attack anyone personally. As we do on CD, we attack concepts. There are way too many children in school whose parents have decided they are 'gifted' and 'special' and need to be treated in a special way. This creates in the child a whiny, me first attitude that poisons a classroom. I feel for the teachers in the kind of upper middle class neighborhoods who deal with 24 of these, yes, bratlings who have been told since they were old enough to walk that they are somehow more important, more unique than any other child. For the most part...they aren't.
Pushing aside rhetoric here, Minimom, what you say is true in the sense that yes, there are absolutely those parents out there who believe that their children are "'gifted' and 'special' and need to be treated in a special way" when in fact, "they aren't," or at least not in any way that significantly affects their ability to learn at the level presented in the regular classroom with regular peers. Sure. This is also true for basically every single sport and many drama, musical, artistic, or talent competitions.
It's also true that the "my child is special" mentality has been known to pervade the other end of the spectrum -- the IEP end, where children have been diagnosed with "disabilities" that are certainly questionable (and very likely offensive to those parents of children whose disabilities clearly present a significant impairment). I have literally heard of children being diagnosed with "time-management disorder," meaning that they are permitted to turn in their work regardless of due dates -- a habit I sincerely hope they break by the time that they become taxpayers, because I don't think the IRS does IEPs.
What I am concerned about losing sight of, however, is that partly because of these "my child is special" parents (can we call them MCISs?), children who genuinely do present with giftedness or disabilities too often get ignored -- mostly if they come from the first group. Frustration with lack of appropriate challenge in the form of acceleration or other reasonable, achievable accommodation has definitely been the reason many parents of the genuinely gifted choose homeschooling.
That said, I that there's an important factor you may not be giving significant enough credit to, though. Many of the parents of the "bratlings" you mentioned may believe sincerely that their child learns at a significantly different rate and depth than her peers; however, I'm going to theorize that most of them don't really believe their child is that profoundly different. A little, yes; a lot, no. If you offered these parents the kind of genuine advancements that would accurately and easily address a highly or profoundly gifted child's needs -- by, say, moving their child from first grade into fourth -- my guess is that most of them would be horrified at the thought, and not just because the kids in fourth grade are older.
Bottom line, what many of these parents want is not accommodation but status. In other words, they have a lot invested in having their child stay in school: that's where the status is to be found. It's only (really) in school that their child gets status by being labeled as "gifted" among his peers. When you homeschool, there are far fewer people to compare your child to and basically no status involved in having your child accelerated, remediated, or right on target for his or her age (or all three, depending on the child). Based on this idea, I submit that homeschoolers who have withdrawn their children because they believe or know their children to be gifted are, I believe, the ones most likely to be telling the objective, demonstrable truth. They're willing to take the responsibility of challenging their child on themselves, but are willing to forego the "status" reward or parental bragging rights that come with saying, "MY child is in the GATE program." Speaking as a homeschooler, I can tell you it would sound pretty silly to everyone, not least to me, if I were to say that my (only) child is the smartest one in class.
Pushing aside rhetoric here, Minimom, what you say is true in the sense that yes, there are absolutely those parents out there who believe that their children are "'gifted' and 'special' and need to be treated in a special way" when in fact, "they aren't," or at least not in any way that significantly affects their ability to learn at the level presented in the regular classroom with regular peers. Sure. This is also true for basically every single sport and many drama, musical, artistic, or talent competitions.
It's also true that the "my child is special" mentality has been known to pervade the other end of the spectrum -- the IEP end, where children have been diagnosed with "disabilities" that are certainly questionable (and very likely offensive to those parents of children whose disabilities clearly present a significant impairment). I have literally heard of children being diagnosed with "time-management disorder," meaning that they are permitted to turn in their work regardless of due dates -- a habit I sincerely hope they break by the time that they become taxpayers, because I don't think the IRS does IEPs.
What I am concerned about losing sight of, however, is that partly because of these "my child is special" parents (can we call them MCISs?), children who genuinely do present with giftedness or disabilities too often get ignored -- mostly if they come from the first group. Frustration with lack of appropriate challenge in the form of acceleration or other reasonable, achievable accommodation has definitely been the reason many parents of the genuinely gifted choose homeschooling.
That said, I that there's an important factor you may not be giving significant enough credit to, though. Many of the parents of the "bratlings" you mentioned may believe sincerely that their child learns at a significantly different rate and depth than her peers; however, I'm going to theorize that most of them don't really believe their child is that profoundly different. A little, yes; a lot, no. If you offered these parents the kind of genuine advancements that would accurately and easily address a highly or profoundly gifted child's needs -- by, say, moving their child from first grade into fourth -- my guess is that most of them would be horrified at the thought, and not just because the kids in fourth grade are older.
Bottom line, what many of these parents want is not accommodation but status. In other words, they have a lot invested in having their child stay in school: that's where the status is to be found. It's only (really) in school that their child gets status by being labeled as "gifted" among his peers. When you homeschool, there are far fewer people to compare your child to and basically no status involved in having your child accelerated, remediated, or right on target for his or her age (or all three, depending on the child). Based on this idea, I submit that homeschoolers who have withdrawn their children because they believe or know their children to be gifted are, I believe, the ones most likely to be telling the objective, demonstrable truth. They're willing to take the responsibility of challenging their child on themselves, but are willing to forego the "status" reward or parental bragging rights that come with saying, "MY child is in the GATE program." Speaking as a homeschooler, I can tell you it would sound pretty silly to everyone, not least to me, if I were to say that my (only) child is the smartest one in class.
There are so many things about school that I would love to reform. A big one would be to eliminate grade/age segregation. I truly think that people learn things at different rates- why would we think that a group of 4th graders would be at the exact same point in math, english and science? I love the montessori method because it allows so much independent learning at a child's own pace. I would also eliminate grading until about 6th grade. There is much too much emphasis on a number rather than on the learning. Lastly, I would bring back the nobility to teaching. I know this will upset some in this discussion, but I would ask teachers to be passionate and professional about their jobs and I would ask parents to support the learning that's happening AS WELL as respect the teacher, especially in front of their kids. Too many discipline problems in schools are caused by parents' message to their kids that the teacher is not worthy of respect. Before anyone makes assumptions....I am NOT a classroom teacher at this time.
I know this will upset some in this discussion, but I would ask teachers to be passionate and professional about their jobs and I would ask parents to support the learning that's happening AS WELL as respect the teacher, especially in front of their kids.
I'm curious as to why this would upset people.
Learning, in a multiperson setting, is of necessity a team approach. If any one of the three entities involved (teacher/parent/child) is not willing to work as a team, it falls through. You could, theoretically, add in "classmates" and "administration" and make that a five pointed team, though I think the original three are of primary importance.
As far as passionate and professional goes-- don't we hope for that from any individual we contract with in a business setting? I don't want a coroner who couldn't care less about time or circumstances of death, of death or a laissez-faire, unprofessional structural engineer signing off on my building design, either. And bringing up an unfortunate earlier reference, don't most people get irritated when the counter girl screws up our order, or is surly about the way we pay for it? I don't know that I'd go so far as to say we expect her to be passionate about McGriddles, but a modicum of professionalism...yeah, that's desirable. (Admittedly, it's also frequently a pipe dream, but that takes us places probably better left unexplored.)
Learning, in a multiperson setting, is of necessity a team approach. If any one of the three entities involved (teacher/parent/child) is not willing to work as a team, it falls through. You could, theoretically, add in "classmates" and "administration" and make that a five pointed team, though I think the original three are of primary importance.
As far as passionate and professional goes-- don't we hope for that from any individual we contract with in a business setting? I don't want a coroner who couldn't care less about time or circumstances of death, of death or a laissez-faire, unprofessional structural engineer signing off on my building design, either. And bringing up an unfortunate earlier reference, don't most people get irritated when the counter girl screws up our order, or is surly about the way we pay for it? I don't know that I'd go so far as to say we expect her to be passionate about McGriddles, but a modicum of professionalism...yeah, that's desirable. (Admittedly, it's also frequently a pipe dream, but that takes us places probably better left unexplored.)
I didn't think anyone would be upset about asking teachers to be passionate and professional....I though someone would find fault with the second half of my sentence: ...I would ask parents to support the learning that's happening AS WELL as respect the teacher, especially in front of their kids.
There are so many things about school that I would love to reform. A big one would be to eliminate grade/age segregation. I truly think that people learn things at different rates- why would we think that a group of 4th graders would be at the exact same point in math, english and science?
I think that would be an outstanding idea, frankly -- and I would allow the child to move through levels based on her or his mastery, not on his or her age.
I didn't think anyone would be upset about asking teachers to be passionate and professional....I though someone would find fault with the second half of my sentence: ...I would ask parents to support the learning that's happening AS WELL as respect the teacher, especially in front of their kids.
Using your terminology/standards....I can't imagine that parents would not respect a passionate and professional teacher. Of course there will always be a few ornery parents, just as there will always be some teachers who are not passionate and professional. Certainly those teachers are not deserving of the same respect.
Teaching is a NOBEL profession. That is why it pays so well compared to other professions (NOT). Brat herding is not. It pays the same.
I remember grade school. I was reading before I got to First Grade and caught on to arithmetic very rapidly. I suppose I would be considered "gifted" in today's systems. The result of my very rapid learning ability was I had plenty of time in class to do other things. I tried, quite successfully, to not attract attention and I still have the gift of reading one thing and following another at the same time. Confused the teachers that realized I was doing something besides listening to their repetitious ramblings. I could always answer any questions on the class work. I must have driven teachers’ nuts. I liked school because it got me away from my nearly certifiably crazy parents. Great Fun.
Any profession done well is noble. And any profession done carelessly is not. The more profound the effect that said profession has on others, the more potentially noble and disgraceful.
Professions which I consider to have profound effect one way or the other...
Teachers, especially elementary school. Lawyers, especially criminal, whether for the defense or the prosecution. Politicians, especially on the federal level. Doctors, all of them; when they're good, they are angels from Heaven, when they're more concerned with their financial well-being than your physical well being they are dangerous.
I didn't think anyone would be upset about asking teachers to be passionate and professional....I though someone would find fault with the second half of my sentence: ...I would ask parents to support the learning that's happening AS WELL as respect the teacher, especially in front of their kids.
Respect works all ways, or not at all, IME.
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