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You never watched the old Kung Fu show starring David Carradine I take it. "Grasshopper" was not intended as an insult. You'll have no doubts when the real thing comes from me.
I did not refer to you as being superficial. I referred to your preferred contacts being of the superficial. Those are usually the types that jump at you with little effort on your part; which is the kind you are seeking, is it not?
You've complained endlessly about having to work too hard to engage men. You should know that anything that comes easily is usually not worth having.
And you missed the part where I stated "if you so desire" as a prelude to the 'marriage and children' comments.
Carry on.
No I have never watched it.
Quote:
You should know that anything that comes easily is usually not worth having.
Why? So if someone wins lottery the money is not worth having? If a guy sleeps with me on a first date because he's attracted to me he's not worth having cos he was "easy"?
There should be nothing hard about people being able to socialize.
Why? So if someone wins lottery the money is not worth having? If a guy sleeps with me on a first date because he's attracted to me he's not worth having cos he was "easy"?
There should be nothing hard about people being able to socialize.
Equating the ease with which the purchase of a lottery ticket can make you a richer person to the investment of effort in intra-personal relationships is not one that I would agree with.
Elevating the effort level "should" equate to a greater level of satisfaction in the experience received. I'm not referring to simply the physical but rather the whole enchilada.
I witnessed a hook-up once that transcended every known measure of reducing the sexual act to it's very basics. While sitting in my rental car near the docks in Penarth/Cardiff Wales; I watched as two individuals approached each other from opposite directions, simply engaged without even exchanging words while shoved up against the side of a building. No foreplay, no whispered words of endearment, no titillation of the senses, nothing but the primal instincts of lower order life forms.
When done; clothing simply got rearranged while walking away from each other.
If you desire merely the "easy" and uncomplicated you will undoubtedly get what you desire. To castigate a cities population of men because the ones you've met choose not to cheapen the entire process in a regressive race back to the Pleistocene era, perhaps you would be better served by seeking out another locale where evolutionary progress is of far lesser value.
My hope is that your expressed preference as shown in this thread is not indicative of the total limit of your social interaction aspirations.
Equating the ease with which the purchase of a lottery ticket can make you a richer person to the investment of effort in intra-personal relationships is not one that I would agree with.
Elevating the effort level "should" equate to a greater level of satisfaction in the experience received. I'm not referring to simply the physical but rather the whole enchilada.
I witnessed a hook-up once that transcended every known measure of reducing the sexual act to it's very basics. While sitting in my rental car near the docks in Penarth/Cardiff Wales; I watched as two individuals approached each other from opposite directions, simply engaged without even exchanging words while shoved up against the side of a building. No foreplay, no whispered words of endearment, no titillation of the senses, nothing but the primal instincts of lower order life forms.
When done; clothing simply got rearranged while walking away from each other.
If you desire merely the "easy" and uncomplicated you will undoubtedly get what you desire. To castigate a cities population of men because the ones you've met choose not to cheapen the entire process in a regressive race back to the Pleistocene era, perhaps you would be better served by seeking out another locale where evolutionary progress is of far lesser value.
My hope is that your expressed preference as shown in this thread is not indicative of the total limit of your social interaction aspirations.
Lol @ the holier than thou attitude. Women can get laid if they want to. If you think less of her fine. You are exactly what she is complaining about. If she runs into guys like you all the time I can see why shes leaving. You uptight prude.
Lol @ the holier than thou attitude. Women can get laid if they want to. If you think less of her fine. You are exactly what she is complaining about. If she runs into guys like you all the time I can see why shes leaving. You uptight prude.
Haar; right on cue. One would expect you to agree with the premise of easy relationship preference.
No one's debating the idea of a woman getting laid if they want to. Try to keep up here Buckwheat. We're discussing the effort required in the context of preferences.
Whoa nelly Karissimo! Are you seriously suggesting she's "complaining" about the effort required to engage married 70 year old retirees in sexually oriented small talk?
Why would I think anything less about a person I think nothing whatsoever about? Again we're talking about the concept, not the person....er...aren't we?
It would be my belief she's choosing to leave for a variety of reasons; none of which having anything to do with just getting laid.
It kind of floors me when I hear people say that people in Toronto and interactions with people in Toronto suck. So my questions is then what the hell are you doing about it. Hiding behind your computer and complaining? You could move as some places do work better for other people. I have no interested in moving to anywhere is Europe as it just would not work for me and I have plenty of reasons why I would not like to live in other places. To each his own as they say.
I have lived in London and did not like it! Could not wait to get the hell out of there. I found it depressing, old, dingy, people were rude, cold, constantly annoyingly drunk after work, horrible weather, nasty mayo on everything, food had not flavour, expensive, living conditions were horrible compared to what I was use to and people were arrogant beyond belief (always correcting our Canadian English), always being called American (even though I said I was Canadian), found the accent annoying (I almost started some relationships, but every time I heard the accent I totally made me think of Bert the chimney sweep from Mary Poppin's or Ebenezer Scrooge ... found it such a turn off), observed general overall lack of personal hygiene on average and people were generally more cheap and more penny pinching then I am use to. I was literally told by one of my Italian flatmates don`t expect a guy to buy you a drink in this city as their tight with their wallets.
I was single then I did not like the dating scene there because all they ever did was drink to drunkeness and I 100% hate sitting around and watching people drink .. I do not care if it is coffee or alcohol. Drink it and let get going. Night clubs were interesting ( and not in a good way). It was an experience and there were things I did enjoy, but it was not for me. So I get the concept that some people are just suited to other places. Also somethings it is just who you happen to connect with then you are live that makes or breaks your experience.
I have friends that lived in Europe got GREATS jobs and they could not wait to get back to Toronto. It really depends. Some places just work better for other people. In a way I think it is really good that not everyone likes the same places otherwise certain places would be way too over populated. I also want to put out the idea that maybe you leave home to move somewhere else looking for something better, but end up gaining a better appreciation for the things you love about where you are from. There is nothing wrong with this.
Why does no one ever think of just being that person that continues to invite people to go out and starts the conversations. Does anyone ever actually do anything about the issues they see in Toronto? A few years ago I realize my social life was starting to get boring. I was tired of hanging out with my partner that has completlely different interests then me and tired of going to family friendly events. Instead of waiting and pleading with people to try to go to some of the things I wanted to do.... I just started doing stuff that I wanted to do . The more I started sharing my experiences with freinds and people I knew.. the more people around me started to be actually motivated to go out and do stuff and to try some of the things I was trying. In short if you are from Toronto and complaining about people being introverted and hostile... stop being introverted and hostile and try to make a difference.
Re: The use of grasshopper ... excellent example of how things are intrepreted differently by different people. When I lived in London ... I had that type of experience over and over again. Ex. The use of the word pissed ... at first I thought everyone was getting mad, turned out they were getting drunk ! People kept on tell me I need to get in to the cue... in my head I was like what the heck is a cue. You live and you learn (... hopefully).
Also as someone that is usually in relationships with people that speak English as a 2nd or 3rd language ... sometimes you think you are having the same conversation, but you are REALLY not ! Ex ... did you just call me an insect vs. young one I am willing to teach. I have a male co-worker that speaks English as a 4th language and had to pull him aside a while ago to provide some advice because he was trying to nicely explain to an employee that reports to him that she did not have to be so rude and disrespective when speaking to management. He told her that she should learn to be more submissive and she was furious (holly HR nightmare waiting to happen)! When I spoke with him in private and explaned the social context of using the particular word so he then understood that using the word did not conveying his intended message well and was usually taken very offensively. He thanks me and the HR headache was avoided.
Sometimes it is our interpretation of another person's actions and speech that is in error. Ex Toronto women or men are rude, snobby and have no game. Is it possible you are just making assumptions without giving the person an opportunity or miss interpreting the local usual behaviour in that environment? The same vibe being expressed about Toronto men and women I found in my 20s at bars and night clubs in Madrid, Seville and Cordoba people were not acting as hyper and dancing a lot like I was use to in the places I went to in Toronto, but what can you do? My friend who is usually consider very attractive, speaks spanish and is an amazing dancer tried to start talking with several different guys who were not even that great looking and totally got snubbed (I was dying of laughter), while in Toronto guys would be chasing her around the dance floor. Sometimes there is just no connection.
It kind of floors me when I hear people say that people in Toronto and interactions with people in Toronto suck. So my questions is then what the hell are you doing about it. Hiding behind your computer and complaining? You could move as some places do work better for other people. I have no interested in moving to anywhere is Europe as it just would not work for me and I have plenty of reasons why I would not like to live in other places. To each his own as they say.
I have lived in London and did not like it! Could not wait to get the hell out of there. I found it depressing, old, dingy, people were rude, cold, constantly annoyingly drunk after work, horrible weather, nasty mayo on everything, food had not flavour, expensive, living conditions were horrible compared to what I was use to and people were arrogant beyond belief (always correcting our Canadian English), always being called American (even though I said I was Canadian), found the accent annoying (I almost started some relationships, but every time I heard the accent I totally made me think of Bert the chimney sweep from Mary Poppin's or Ebenezer Scrooge ... found it such a turn off), observed general overall lack of personal hygiene, on average and people were generally more cheap and more penny pinching then I am use to. I was literally told by one of my Italian flatmates, Don`t expect a guy to buy you a drink in this city as their tight with their wallets.
I was single then I did not like the dating scene there because all they ever did was drink to drunkeness and I 100% hate sitting around and watching people drink .. I do not care if it is coffee or alcohol. Drink it and let get going. Night clubs were interesting ( and not in a good way). It was an experience and there were things I did enjoy, but it was not for me. So I get the concept that some people are just suited to other places. Also somethings it is just who you happen to connect with then you are live that makes or breaks your experience.
I have friends that lived in Europe got GREATS jobs and they could not wait to get back to Toronto. It really depends. Some places just work better for other people. In a way I think it is really good that not everyone likes the same places otherwise certain places would be way too over populated. I also want to put out the idea that maybe you leave home to move somewhere else looking for something better, but end up gaining a better appreciation for the things you love about where you are from. There is nothing wrong with this.
Why does no one ever think of just being that person that continues to invite people to go out and starts the conversations. Does anyone ever actually do anything about the issues they see in Toronto? A few years ago I realize my social life was starting to get boring. I was tired of hanging out with my partner that has completlely different interests then me and tired of going to family friendly events. Instead of waiting and pleading with people to try to go to some of the things I wanted to do.... I just started doing stuff that I wanted to do . The more I started sharing my experiences with freinds and people I knew.. the more people around me started to be actually motivated to go out and do stuff and to try some of the things I was trying. In short if you are from Toronto and complaining about people being introverted and hostile... stop being introverted and hostile and try to make a difference.
Re: The use of grasshopper ... excellent example of how things are intrepreted differently by different people. When I lived in London ... I had that type of experience over and over again. Ex. The use of the word pissed ... at first I thought everyone was getting mad, turned out they were getting drunk ! People kept on tell me I need to get in to the cue... in my head I was like what the heck is a cue. You live and you learn (... hopefully).
Also as someone that is usually in relationships with people that speak English as a 2nd or 3rd language ... sometimes you think you are having the same conversation, but you are REALLY not ! Ex ... did you just call me an insect vs. young one I am willing to teach. I have a male co-worker that speaks English as a 4th language and had to pull him aside a while ago to provide some advice because he was trying to nicely explain to an employee that reports to him that she did not have to be so rude and disrespective when speaking to management. He told her that she should learn to be more submissive and she was furious (holly HR nightmare waiting to happen)! When I spoke with him in private and explaned the social context of using the particular word so he then understood that using the word did not conveying his intended message well and was usually taken very offensively. He thanks me and the HR headache was avoided.
Sometimes it is our interpretation of another person's actions and speech that is in error. Ex Toronto women or men are rude, snobby and have no game. Is it possible you are just making assumptions without giving the person an opportunity or miss interpreting the local usual behaviour in that environment? The same vibe being expressed about Toronto men and women I found in my 20s at bars and night clubs in Madrid, Seville and Cordoba people were not acting as hyper and dancing a lot like I was use to in the places I went to in Toronto, but what can you do? My friend who is usually consider very attractive, speaks spanish and is an amazing dancer tried to start talking with several different guys who were not even that great looking and totally got snubbed (I was dying of laughter), while in Toronto guys would be chasing her around the dance floor. Sometimes there is just no connection.
Given the complaint of effort required vs reward. It will be my "caustic" opinion; you've given them too much to disseminate in one post!
A picture with four words in a little balloon above ala; a Charlie Brown cartoon of Lucy pulling the football away would be more to their liking.
Lol @ the holier than thou attitude. Women can get laid if they want to. If you think less of her fine. You are exactly what she is complaining about. If she runs into guys like you all the time I can see why shes leaving. You uptight prude.
I do not think that comment was placing judgement on a female more then a male. It think it was comparing sex in the primal form vs. a more interactive social physical and emontional experience.
I do not think that comment was placing judgement on a female more then a male. It think it was comparing sex in the primal form vs. a more interactive social physical and emontional experience.
No hard feelings, F2. I find a lot of what you contribute to this forum outside of the male/female dynamic in the city constructive and valuable. I'd even admit that I learn a thing or three from reading what you have to say. But as regards dating in T.O. between a man and a woman, sorry man, but I take what you say with a grain of salt. I think what motivates you, though, is a desire to help out and contribute in some favourable way to the discussion.
Thanks for the kind words.. You are right in my desire to help people out.. Hey, perception is reality for the individual I get that but the attitude and approach will do them no good. This isn't a straight or gay thing - its a human thing. As long as they are in Toronto, they might as well make the best of it and the worst thing you can do is take this negative attitude about the place and the people everywhere you go to the point it becomes a constant outlet on an internet forum to complain about things.. It becomes an anchor and a self-fulfilling prophecy and robs people of the chance to actually meet some great people here and expand their social circle.
Last edited by fusion2; 10-15-2015 at 08:31 PM..
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Again we're talking about the concept, not the person....er...aren't we? 
! People kept on tell me I need to get in to the cue... in my head I was like what the heck is a cue. You live and you learn (... hopefully). 
?
